Dr. Christopher "Chris" Duncan Turk
Dr. Percival "Perry" Cox
Nurse Carla Espinosa
Dr. Robert "Bob" Kelso
Dr. Elliot Reid
Dr. John Michael "J.D." Dorian
Dr. Jeffrey Steadman
J.D.'s female name for this episode is Reba.
In this episode we find out that J.D.'s resident is actually Dr. Steadman, who is referred to as Kelso's lapdog. We first meet him in "My First Day" or the Pilot where he introduces himself and is then seen as repeating "I am a tool" and "I am a dork" for the rest of the episode.
In the episode "My Mentor", Turk tells Eliot that his mother is one of Jehovah's Witnesses. However, in this episode, she does not react the way a JW would about Turk and Carla's premarital relationship, and J.D. references an incident at Thanksgiving which JW's do not celebrate.
In this episode, J.D. starts believing in Karma when he ridicules Turk and his father shows up. This will play a larger part in the season two episode, My Karma.
Turk's mother says he'd look better in blue scrubs, although green is the colour for surgeons at Sacred Heart. For a short period after, Turk wears blue scrubs, until Carla realises something disturbing at which point he changes back to green.
In this episode, we apparently meet the Janitor's dad, but in episode "My Words of Wisdom" the Janitor states that his father died when he was young. This means that what he said was a lie or the man in this episode isn't really his father.
In the episode "My Mentor" Elliot says that Turk's mother looks like Morgan Freeman because she has freckles. But it's clear that she looks nothing like Morgan Freeman.
In the scene where Carla realizes that she and Turk's mom are the same and Turk's mom freezes, she is clearly seen moving and blinking while holding the pose.
"Surrender" by Cheap Trick
In the scene where J.D. is talking to his dad in the cafeteria, you can see a bottle of water appear and disappear in the various shots.
J.D.'s father's (John Ritter) final line when he asks J.D. to pull his finger and then says, "I pooed a little," was totally improvised and Zach Braff had to bite the insides of his cheeks to stop himself laughing.
The set they used when J.D. was talking to his dad (played by John Ritter) when he was younger was the set to be used for "8 Simple Rules for Dating My Teenage Daughter", which starred John Ritter as the father.
Janitor's father: You know, this has got to be the most piss-poor sorry excuse for a hospital that I have ever set foot in.
Janitor: Well, Dad, in that case, feel free to not stop by every day that you're in town.
Janitor's father: Good-bye, son. See you tomorrow.
Elliot: I mean, you were right, I got into this for all the wrong reasons but I lucked out because now that I'm here, I can't imagine being anywhere else.
Dr. Kelso: I still don't like your father!
Elliot: Oh, me neither, sir.
Dr. Kelso: Well, if it isn't daddy's little girl.
Elliot: Dr. Kelso, I just wanted to tell you what happened to me this afternoon.
Dr. Kelso: I'm going to go right ahead and keep eating my soup but you rest assured I'm holding my breath on the inside.
Elliot: First, I came out to my mother.
Dr. Kelso: Well, then it appears the boys down in radiology owe me quite a bit of money.
Carla: I just freaked out because your mom and I have so much in common.
Carla: I don't know, I got this crazy idea that you only fell for me because I'm just like your mom.
Turk: Aw, baby... That's exactly why I fell for you.
Carla: Okay, I'll probably just have a friend pick up my stuff...
Turk: No, wait, sit down. What's wrong with wanting to be with someone because they're smart and independent and always looking out for you? Okay?
Carla: But if we ever get married, we're gonna have to talk about this in therapy.
Carla: Turk. I do like that Cuban restaurant.
Turk: Well, I think the important thing is we got through this together.
Turk: All right, Elliot, at the presentation I was wondering, can I do the ending? Because I really love the ending of our paper.
Elliot: Do you think I'm cut out to be a doctor?
Turk: Okay, fine, you can do the ending. I just want to say, "Thanks, folks! We've been great!"
Elliot: I'm serious. Do you think this is what I really want to do?
Turk: Elliot, I don't know.
Elliot: You can tell me. I can take it.
Turk: No, Elliot, I'm saying I don't know because I really don't know. What the hell is going on here? Why have all women gone crazy?
Elliot: I'm not crazy, am I? No, shhh, it's okay.
J.D.: Well, he did some considerable emotional damage, so...
Dr. Cox: Every one of our parents does some considerable emotional damage and from what I've heard it just might be the best part of being a parent. Now, if some guy ever does put a ring on your finger and you're lucky enough to pop out a youngster, I'm sure you'll understand but for now trust me when I tell you that I wouldn't care if today was the first time you ever met your daddy.
Janitor's father: Hey, hey, hey, hey! You missed a spot right there!
Janitor: You know, lucky for me, Dad, I spend my life making a big circle around this place cleaning up after sick people so tomorrow I'll probably be here around the same time.
Janitor's father: You know that I hate sass! So just drop right down and give me twenty.
Janitor: Dad, that could be fecal matter.
Janitor's father: Make it thirty!
Turk: So I told my mom how much you liked that Cuban restaurant downtown and she loves cuban food, so-
Carla: I hate that restaurant!
Turk: Wow. So I must have really misunderstood when you said that you loved that place and you wanted to be buried in a vat of their plantains so you could eat you way out.
Carla: See? That's our problem. You don't get me!
Turk: No argument there!
Elliot: Mom, when I was a little girl, did I used to want to be a doctor? Maybe I used a toy stethoscope on one of my dolls?
Mrs. Reid: Oh, honey. You'd have to ask the nanny.
Elliot: Have you ever reached a point in your life when you just really wished you knew how you got there?
Mrs. Reid: Are you trying to tell me you're a lesbian?
Elliot: Yes, I am. Yup. Exactly. Exactly what I'm saying, Mom.
Mrs. Reid: Honey, you keep eating that, there won't be anything left for a man to put a ring on.
Elliot: Mom, I started therapy.
Mrs. Reid: Did you know that Amy Swanson married Drew Gertson? Drew is such a nice boy.
Elliot: Drew used to hold people down and spit into their mouths.
Mrs. Reid: He doesn't do that anymore.
Mr. Dorian: Work is great, Johnny. I like to believe that I'm selling dreams.
J.D.: But Dad, you sell office supplies.
Mr. Dorian: Yeah, I prefer to call them dreams.
Dr. Kelso: Your dad must have been very impressed.
Elliot: I think so. I could tell that he really respected you, sir.
Dr. Kelso: Well, that's very nice, but lucky for me, my self-esteem isn't tied up in that kind of poppycock. You see, I didn't become a doctor to impress my daddy, or anyone else. I did it for me. I've seen lots of doctors who got into this for the wrong reasons. You know what happens to them?
Dr. Kelso: They quit and get their real estate license. You look upset, sweetheart. You shouldn't be. I think you'd look super in a gold blazer.
Turk: Okay, you guys, leave him alone. And I've had enough of you two conspiring and whatnot. It ends now!
Ms. Turk: It is so cute when he thinks he's in charge.
Carla: I know! It kills me!
Ms. Turk: John Dorian, get over here.
J.D.: Well, uhh, umm...
Ms. Turk: After all these years, are you still afraid of me?
J.D.: Well, remember on Thanksgiving when I said your turkey was dry and you picked me up and shook me?
Ms. Turk: Well, then, don't say that.
Carla: Silly Bambi.
Carla: It's absolutely stunning.
Ms. Turk: Thank you. And I understand you make them.
Carla: Yes, I make them. I'd be happy to make...
Turk: Look at them. Like two wolves gabbing about which sheep to eat. Unfortunately for them, I'm a man.
Dr. Kelso: All right, sports fans! We have a guest today at rounds so let's try and be sharp. Why don't we begin with, uh... I don't know... Dr. Reid! What is the nutritional cause of high output cardiac failure?
Elliot: Wet beriberi from thiamine deficiency?
Dr. Kelso: Yes, it is. Next question. Why don't we try, um... Dr. Reid!
Elliot: Um, I already went, sir.
Dr. Kelso: Oh, are you done for the day?
Dr. Reid: Well, I'll be. I haven't seen a ward like this since Vietnam.
Dr. Kelso: So where in Connecticut was your National Guard unit stationed?
Dr. Reid: Amusing.
Dr. Kelso: I thought so.
Turk: All right, this is it. You just brace yourself and let me handle this all nice and smooth like. All right? Hey, Mom! Guess what?
Carla: Hi, Mrs. Turk. I'm gonna cut right to the chase. I'm Carla, and I apologize if your son hasn't told you about me yet. Honestly, I don't know how you put up with him as long as you did. Still, you should know he loves me very much, I feel the same way, and we're really, really good together.
Mrs. Turk: Are you two sharing a bed?
Carla: Yes, ma'am, we are, but if you're a good judge of character, I think you can tell, I'm not messing around.
Mrs. Turk: Carla. That's a nice name.
Carla: Thank you.
Turk: Listen, it is, Mother-
Mrs. Turk: Oh, please! Not telling me about her. Dear, do me a favor. Don't give him any for a month or so.
Turk: No, it can't go down like that! It just can't go down like that!
Elliot: Dr. Kelso, Dr. Kelso! Uh, these are my parents.
Dr. Kelso: Ah, well, it's always a pleasure to meet the trees from which our little acorns fall. Bob Kelso.
Dr. Reid: Simon Reid. I'm Chief of Medicine at St. Augustine's. It's a private hospital in Greenwhich.
Mrs. Reid: I know what you're thinking. You didn't ask. Nobody ever does.
Elliot: So, what do you guys think?
Mrs. Reid: Well, I think it's time to get back to the suite and get me into a bath. This place makes me feel dirty.
Carla: Why didn't you introduce me to your mother this morning?
Turk: Because she just came by to say hey before she checked into her hotel. Besides, she's coming back later on to look around.
Carla: Okay. I was worried that you thought she might not like me.
Turk: She's not going to like you. Baby, look, my mother's never actually called any girl I've been with by her actual name. Hell, she called my college girlfriend "The Big Easy".
Carla: Well, was she fat and slutty?
Turk: She had beautiful skin.
Elliot: So, this is my hospital.
Dr. Reid: It's... stunning.
Mrs. Reid: Honey, is there a rule against looking pretty here?
Elliot: Uh, nothing official.
J.D.'s Narration: My mom and dad got divorced when I was seven. I know that's not so unusual but even though everyone's relationship with their father seems different, mine always seemed very different.
Mr. Dorian: God, I'd like to take a run at her. Would you take a look at her rack?
J.D.: Dad, please!
Mr. Dorian: I'm sorry, Johnny. I'm just a man. And you know what they say about men.
Turk: They love the boobies.
Mr. Dorian: That is correct, Christopher.
J.D.'s Narration: If I believed in karma, I might be a little more cautious about giving these guys a hard time...
J.D.: Hey, Dad. No, no, nothing. Turk and Elliot are freaking out because their parents are coming to visit.
J.D. Narration: But karma doesn't scare me!
J.D.: No, no, no, no, it hasn't been that long since you and I saw each other.
J.D.: I have testicles.
J.D.: And "Z" is for the Zs you'll be getting, now that you know heart murmurs from "A" to "Z." What are you doing here?
Dr. Cox: Yeah, I just figured I'd come down and check it out. You know, see how you were doing. And for the record, that was atrocious. I mean, downright abysmal.
J.D.: I know, but did you see "A" through "K"? 'Cause I did a really cool thing with "A" through "K."
Dr. Cox: Actually, I showed up at "Y." As in, "Why, dear God, why?!"
Dr. Cox: Oh, I heard the sad sigh, I see your shoulders are slumped, and I'm aware that you have some whiny-ass problem that you want to talk to me about because you probably think it'd be cathartic to get it the hell off your chest but believe me it won't be. What you've got to do, for me, is the healthy thing. Keep all of your feelings bottled up inside where they so belong!
J.D.: My dad flaked on me again.
Dr. Cox: I'm sorry, um, you're not on drugs, are you?
J.D.: What? No!
Dr. Cox: Are you in jail? Have you been beaten? Are you malnourished?
J.D.: I skipped lunch but I've been snacking all day.
Dr. Cox: You are, in fact, a perfectly healthy twenty-six-year-old doctor who keeps crying about how horrible his father was.
J.D.'s Narration: I think what surprised me the most was that I was actually surprised.
J.D.'s Dad: You still talking to yourself? I thought you'd outgrow that by now.
J.D.'s Dad: Are you kidding? I'd love to come to your heart murmur lecture! I'm a big fan of those things!
J.D.: Can I help you, sir? Sir?
Man: You can help me by minding your own damn business!
J.D.: Excuse me?
Man: Oh, aggressive, huh? Do you really want to get it on with me, Pipsqueak? Because if you do, I guarantee it'll be the last stupid thing you ever do on God's green earth.
J.D.: Nice meeting you.
J.D.'s Narration: What the hell was that about?
Janitor: Dad! Don't wander off like that.
J.D.: Do you know how many interns would die to do something like that? Not me, ‘cause I don’t really care about that stuff. Besides, I know in my heart my paper was, like, a trillion times better. And anyway, it’s so political -- I mean, surprise, surprise, they went with the black guy and the girl!
J.D.: What!? Come on, what right do they have to be so damn mopey?
J.D.'s Narration: And that’s when Elliot said something that explained everything.
Elliot: Our parents are coming.
J.D.: Oh, I am so sorry.
Janitor: Parents, huh?
J.D.: Tell me about it!
Janitor: What's that, a shot at my Dad? That's stepping over the line pal!
J.D.: I miss this.
[J.D. give Dr. Cox thumbs-up while on the phone]
Dr. Cox: [Walking past] Oh dear Lord, please make it stop.
J.D.: That sucks! I totally wanted to spend some time with my dad tomorrow.
Dr. Cox: Then take him.
J.D.: What do you mean?
Dr. Cox: Aaaa I don't know, secure a vehicle of some kind - car, ballon, tricycle - and transport your father from where ever he is to where ever you're going to be.
J.D.: I-I don't think you really get my dad, he's not really interest in my work, he's more like a buddy.
Dr. Cox: Ohh-kay, that was my mistake. Here I engaged you and gave you the impression that I actually care, which is just so wrong! God!
J.D.: The thing is, I don't really need a buddy. What I need is a father.
Dr. Cox: Well you definately need something. Umm, maybe a backbone or perhaps some testicles. At the very least a pillow that you could carry around the hospital and just cry your sad eyes out into...
Dr. Cox: Look Reba, if I ask you a question that doesn't specifically deal with a medical issue, you can bet your powdered bottom that I don't want you to answer. Do you understand?
Dr. Cox: It's like working with a monkey.
J.D.: Ok, you know I think I'm gonna hit the sack before I feel more uncomfortable.
J.D.'s Dad: You know your mother had a beautiful boussum.
J.D.: There it is.
Original International Airdates:
Czech Republic: January 9, 2013 on Prima COOL
Alexandra Lee (young Elliot) was nominated for the 2003 Young Artist Award for Best Performance In A TV Comedy Or Drama Series-Guest Starring Young Actress Age Ten Or Under.
Title Explanation: "My Old Man" signifies J.D's father coming into town.
In this episode, John Ritter and Markie Post guest star as the parents of John Dorian and Elliot Reid, respectively.
Previously, Ritter and Post had played opposite each other in the show Hearts Afire.
This episode was originally slated to air April 2, 2002, but was postponed for one week to April 9, 2002.
Stanley Kubrick's Full Metal Jacket
When the Janitor's father makes his son do push-ups, he shouts at him "Sound off like you got a pair!". This is a reference to Stanley Kubrick's Full Metal Jacket, where he played a marines drill instructor who used that line a number on a number of occasions.
The bald doctor who nods at the end of Turk and Elliot's report has a name tag that reads:
"Dr. Hunter S. Thompson."
A nod to the late, great, Gonzo journalist.
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