Season 1 Episode 5

My Two Dads

Aired Tuesday 9:30 PM Oct 23, 2001 on NBC



  • Trivia

    • Just after Dr. Cox says that someone should call it, and Elliot runs in to show her boobs to the patient, you can see that she doesn't pull the shirt up high enough to reveal her breasts.

    • During the Family Feud scene about "what guys want to see more than anything in the whole wide world", the board reads:
      BOOBS 93
      THE ROCK 4

    • J.D.'s Girl Names: Margaret (twice)

    • In the beginning of the Star Wars satire both Dr. Kelso and Dr. Cox are holding what appears to be pen-lightsabers, but later when there's a close up of Dr. Cox, he's holding a real lightsaber.

    • During the episode there are several scenes in which we can see Zach Braff's hair is short inserted between others in which his hair is big.

    • In the scene where Turk is running in the corridor to retrieve the pen he gave to Carla, if you watch carefully you can see Lela Lee, who plays the surgical intern Bonnie, although she's using blue scrubs instead of green ones and wasn't credited, which may be related to the fact that this episode was originally scheduled to be aired before "My Old Lady", where Lela Lee's Bonnie has her first lines.

    • In the scene where J.D. hits Dr. Steadman in the head with a golf ball, we can perfectly see his ball was thrown forward before the camera shot shifts to show Dr. Steadman's face being hit.

    • If you watch carefully the scene in which Elliot shows her breasts to her kid patient, you can see Sarah Chalke is wearing a beige band over her breasts.

  • Quotes

    • Louie Anderson: Guys, we need an answer. Name one thing guys wanna see more than anything in the whole wide world.
      J.D.: Ok, uh, Louie, we're gonna go with "boobs".
      (Audience claps)
      Louie Anderson: Show me "boobs"! ("Boobs" appears on the board) There they are!

    • J.D.'s narration: Dr. Steadman. Resident and first-class teacher's pet.
      (J.D. daydreams Dr. Steadman wearing a dog collar eating a biscuit given by Dr. Kelso and trying to make out with Kelso's leg)

    • Dr. Kelso: Well, sport, it looks like a permanent spot just opened up on the golf course. How does joining the Chief of Medicine for a weekly round sound?
      J.D.: Actually, sir, I'm not really that in to golf.
      Dr. Kelso: Well, I guess that's your choice, isn't it... Dr. Dorian.
      J.D.'s Narration: I think I liked it better when he didn't know my name.

    • Janitor: That's four.
      J.D.: That's three!
      Janitor: That's five.

    • J.D.: I can't decide if I should help Cox or not. It's driving me crazy.
      Turk: Dude, at least you didn't give your girlfriend a gift that used to be inside of someone.
      J.D.: That's true.

    • J.D.: And all it took was a visit from The Rock.
      Todd: The Rock was here and nobody told me?!

    • J.D.: Look, all I'm saying is, there's more to healing than what's in the books. I talk to my patients, I-I sing to them... ask them what their hobbies are and tell them ghost stories about an old sea captain.

    • Turk: You wanna show a woman you know her, you gotta buy her a little somethin'-somethin'. I'm gonna buy her flowers.
      Todd: Yeah!
      Elliot: Please, it's been done to death.
      Turk: How 'bout chocolates?
      Elliot: Mmm! With rich, cliché centers?

    • Dr. Kelso: Hey, sport. Or should I say, howdy, Mr. Pouty.
      J.D.: Sorry, sir, it's been a rough day.
      Dr. Kelso: So I hear. Well, anyway, I'm very proud of you, Dr... uhmmmmmm...
      J.D.'s Narration: Just look at my badge!
      Dr. Kelso: Dr. Turk!
      J.D.: Oh, no, this-this is my roommate's badge, sir; we must have switched this morning.

    • Dr. Cox: I don't know if they taught you this in the land of fairies and puppy-dog tails, where you obviously, if not grew up then at least spent most of your summers, but you're in the real world now. Nnnnn-kay?

    • Carla: Why would you think that Turk and I slept together? Because I'm a nurse? Because I'm Latina?
      J.D.: No, just 'cause you guys have been dating...for a while. Do Latina women put out more? Because that's not something I've-I've ever heard... Turk told me.
      Turk: No! I didn't! No, I swear. Look, he-he assumed.
      Carla: Uh-huh. And did you correct him?
      Turk: Well, you know, I've been really busy at the hospital lately...

    • Dr. Kelso: Ammonia's a little strong today.
      Janitor: (to J.D.) That's two.

    • J.D.'s Narration: Argh. The Janitor. This guy is always bothering me. Don't look at him... don't talk to him... don't-
      He sneezes
      Janitor: What's your point? Ammonia too strong?
      J.D.: Oh, no, I have a-
      Janitor: That's one. Keep pushin'.

    • Dr. Kelso: Steadman, I need a tee.
      Steadman: A tee, or some tea, sir, because I brought both?

    • Elliot: At what point did I become a crazy person?
      J.D.: Oh, come on. Yes, exposing yourself to a dead guy might have been a tad unorthodox; and yes, it might be a little hard to live down....
      Elliot: I'm waiting for the "but."
      J.D.: So is everyone else in the hospital!

    • J.D.: Thought you hated Kelso.
      Dr. Cox: Oh, I do. And watching his face as I kick his worthless butt up and down this golf course every week is basically...well, it's the most fun I can have without being forced to cuddle afterwards.

    • Turk: Yo, Elliot, check out these ass slides.
      Elliot: Oh, my God! How does that stuff even get up there?
      Guy 1: I fell on it.
      Woman: I fell on it?
      Guy 2: I fell on it.
      Guy 3: I was bored.

    • J.D.'s Narration: It felt weird knowing that Dr. Cox and I would never be working in the same room again.
      Dr. Cox: Check her LFTs and a coax for me.
      Carla: Yeah, sure.
      J.D.'s Narration: Every time I think something, the opposite happens.... I am so not having sex this weekend.
      Mrs. Blitt: You're cute.

    • Dr. Kelso: Oh, that's a great anecdote. You should write that down in your journal, then your kids can read about it when you're dead.

    • J.D.'s narration: Don't say it!
      J.D.: I still think I was right.
      J.D.'s narration: Once every 6.3 seconds, a man says something stupid that another man hears and punishes him for... luckily, this wasn't---
      Dr. Cox: That's it!
      J.D.'s narration: Oh, no.
      Dr. Cox: Do you know what this is? This is me washing my hands of you. I will not be in the same room with you again, starting... now.
      Janitor: Tissue?

    • J.D.: My man Turk, is getting it daily and nightly and ever so rightly! Ah! What up, dogg!
      J.D.'s narration: Once every 4.2 seconds a man says something stupid that a woman hears and punishes him for... luckily, this wasn't one of those times.
      Carla: What did you just say?
      J.D.: "What up...dogg?"

    • J.D.: I, uh...sir, I was going over Mr. Martinez's chart, and it seems like the TIPS procedure he's scheduled for is completely unnecessary.
      Steadman: Why would you think that's unnecessary?
      J.D.: Well, he's dead.
      Dr. Kelso: Well, excellent catch
      J.D.'s narration: Dorian. You see me every day. Say my name; say it!
      Dr. Kelso: ...Martinez.
      J.D.: That was the name of the patient, sir.
      Dr. Kelso: ...Avery.
      J.D.: No, actually, that's the--that's the manufacturer of the clipboard, sir.
      Dr. Kelso: Fine work doctor! Fine work.
      J.D.'s narration: I hear that!

    • Elliot: I have magic breasts.
      (Elliot falls drunk)
      J.D.: How many has she had?
      Turk: Almost one.

    • Carla: There is no "Lost and Found" box. There's an "Ass" box.
      Turk: Yeaaah, right.

    • Carla: Is that how you see this relationship? As some mad dash to the finish line? Because I'll take you into that bedroom right now and and I promise you, you will be walking sideways for the rest of your life because I'll have used all your up and down!

    • Dr. Cox: That TIPS proceedure was for Mrs. Blitt down in 103. You see, she doesn't have insurance, Mr. Martinez on the other hand has great insurance. Should I talk slower or go get a nurse who speaks fluent moron?

    • J.D.'s Narration: Look at him, pretending like yesterday never happened. Well, if he thinks I'm gonna forgive him without so much as a-
      Dr. Cox: Anyway newbie, the reason I was all bent outta shape yesterday...
      J.D.: I accept.
      Dr. Cox: Don't interrupt me. Come here. Pull that curtain. Mrs. Blitt over there, needs the TIPS procedure, no insurance. Yeah, well she can now look forward to a lifetime of encephalopathy and jaundice thanks to bottom-line Bob.
      J.D.: Is it really that bad?
      Dr. Cox: I hate Robert Kelso. I hate his family, I hate his friends, I hate the guy that cleans his vaguely racist little lawn jockey. Infact I hate anybody who even associates with him, is that clear?

  • Notes

    • Original International Airdates:
      Czech Republic: December 17, 2012 on Prima COOL

    • Title Explanation: "My Two Dads" signifies Dr. Kelso and Dr. Cox fighting over J.D.'s trust, or to be his father type figure.

  • Allusions

    • The Wonder Years:
      After Dr. Cox berates J.D. over informing Kelso so he will get nailed for using a dead patient's insurance on someone without it he asks "What in the hell do you want from me?" J.D.'s fantasy with them playing catch is done as a home movie in the style of "Wonder Years", a popular 80s show about a man reminiscing of his childhood in the 1960s that starred Fred Savage.

    • The Rock:
      When Elliot promises a patient that The Rock will be by to visit later, she is referring to former WWE Superstar Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson. Since the WWE, The Rock has gone on to star in several acting roles.

    • Family Feud:
      The scene with the guys discussing what guys want to see more than anything in the whole wide world features the Family Feud set.

      Family Feud is a long running game show where 2 families compete against each other by trying to guess the most popular answers based on surveys of 100 people and getting points based on how many people out of those 100 picked that answer.

    • Star Wars IV: A New Hope:
      The "battle" between Dr. Cox and Kelso at the end of the episode is a parody of Star Wars. Each Scrubs character references a Star Wars Character:

      J.D. - Luke Skywalker
      Elliot and Carla - Princess Leia
      Turk - Han Solo
      Janitor - Chewbacca
      Dr. Cox - Obi-Wan Kenobi
      Dr. Kelso - Darth Vader