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Dr. John Michael "J.D." Dorian
Dr. Christopher "Chris" Duncan Turk
Dr. Percival "Perry" Cox
Nurse Carla Espinosa
Dr. Robert "Bob" Kelso
Elliot's Intern (uncredited)
Nurse Laverne Roberts
When J.D. is talking to Keith you can see that there are no people behind the curtain. When Dr. Cox walks backwards you can suddenly see the orange robes of the choir.
It is revealed that Dr. Kelso is from Altoona, Pennsylvania, and that he was a minor league shortstop before going into the medical field.
Dr. Cox refers to Jordan as "The Wicked Witch of the East Wing", but in The Wizard of Oz, it was the Wicked Witch of the West who melted. The Wicked Witch of the East died when Dorothy's house fell on her.
In this episode, Dr. Kelso says that he was one of the greatest shortstops ever to come out of Altoona, Pennsylvania. In previous episodes, he has claimed that he came from Monroeville.
When Turk and Carla are talking about kids in the start, J.D. is sitting by a computer in the back. If you look closely, you can see that he doesn't actually hit the buttons on the keyboard.
"Africa" by Toto
"Maniac" by Hall & Oates (performed by The Worthless Peons)
"We're Off to See the Wizard" by Harold Arlen (performed by The Worthless Peons)
"Over the Rainbow" by Israel Kamakawiwo'ole (performed by The Worthless Peons)
In "My Choosiest Choice of All", the Janitor said that he had problems distinguishing colors. However, in this episode, he didn't seem to have problems.
Turk's drive throughout this whole episode is to assist on the hospital's "first ever" in-house heart transplant. However, in season two, during the episode "My Kingdom", J.D. is studying in a "surgical elective", and both he and Turk assist in a heart transplantation, where J.D. drops the heart after Turk tells him to take it out of the patient's chest.
When Carla asks if someone could watch Jack, everyone is hiding. You can however still see Turk's right shoulder, and since Carla is closer, she should see even more of him and the others. She could not have missed them.
How could Dr. Cox not notice the paper that was in the hink, when Elliot corrected him in front of the interns?
When J.D. is beaten with a fire extinguisher, shortly thereafter you can see Doug squeezing the obviously soft prop extinguisher.
Dr. Kelso: Now, on your feet. They need you in the O.R. to assist on the heart transplant.
Turk: The Bolgers said yes?
Dr. Kelso: Mr. Bolger wanted you to have this.
He hands Turk a card.
Turk: His son's driver's license?
Dr. Kelso: Turn it over.
J.D.'s Narration: Every so often, a wizard comes along and tells you exactly what you need to hear.
Turk turns the license over to reveal a small heart-shaped icon on the back which reads "DONOR".
Dr. Kelso: Seems like you had a heart all along!
Turk: Sir, I was watching that.
Dr. Kelso: Well, why don't I just tell you what happened: Uncle Phillip gets Webster the dog despite George and Ma'am's objections. It was a good one.
Dr. Cox: But, trust me, when you do have your own kid, you won't feel that way.
Carla: Yeah? Why? What'll be different?
Dr. Cox: He'll be yours.
Carla: You don't understand. I didn't dump him on the Janitor because I was busy. I dumped him on him because he was working my last nerve and I wanted to smoosh his face.
Mr. Bolger: Okay, next question-
Turk: With all those topical treatments, let's just say I wasn't completely functional.
Mr. Bolger: Why are all surgical residents being so relentless about my son's heart?
Turk: Because whichever one of us convinces you to pull the plug and donate his heart gets to assist in the transplant.
Janitor: Yeah... the little nipper got ahold of a paint gun when I was painting this green line down to the smoker's lounge. Thanks to him, I only got halfway down.
Turk: Dude, it was awful. I couldn't stop lying to them. I only have two moves! If surgery goes well, the fake modest nod and wink. Now, if surgery goes bad and the guy dies, there's always the headshake-sad-walk-away.
J.D.: Turk! Toto and I are going home.
J.D.: Okay! I'll help!
J.D.'s Narration: A hospital can sometimes feel like a magical place, where peoples' hopes and dreams are often far from ordinary.
Carla: I just don't see what's so adorable; I mean, "Yay! You made a poopy in the potty!" I'm supposed to be impressed? There's a monkey at the zoo who can do that. I mean, you know, when he's not playing with himself.
J.D.: Well, if you don't wanna have a baby, Carla, don't have a baby.
Carla: But, J.D., I wanna have a child with Turk more than anything in the world. I know it's crazy, but I'm a girl - that's how we roll.
Carla: J.D., I have to admit this to somebody: I don't like kids!
J.D.: What are you talking about? You're the most maternal person I know.
Carla: Well, I'm a nurse, J.D. I'm trained to fake it!
Turk: Anyway, I gotta talk to the Bolger family about getting their son's heart, but I can't find 'em anywhere.
Laverne: Oh, they're in the doctors' lounge.
Turk: Oh my God, Laverne, I love you! Listen, if any other surgeon asks about them, you send them someplace else - the cafeteria, the zoo, I don't care! I'm goin' to get my heart!
Dr. Kelso: None of you will be assisting on anything, because we still don't have a donor heart. Last night, Mr. Bolger here was declared brain-dead. We have to convince his family to pull the plug and give us his heart. Whichever one of you Benihana rejects pulls this off gets the operation... Go!
Turk: Dr. Kelso! 'Sup. Look, I just heard that we're doing our first ever in-house heart transplant. Now, I know you'll be objective in choosing which surgical resident gets to assist. But! I also thought you might enjoy this commemorative Dr. Kelso bobble head. Huh?!
Dr. Kelso: Ahh, bobble heads! You always think you're gonna get bored with 'em, but you never do. Bobbly bobbly bobbly bobbly bobbly bobbly bobbly bobbly bobbly bob-
Dr. Kelso: Eh? Oh! Turkleton, you're still here! Did you honestly think you'd be the only surgeon to walk in here and try to bribe me?
Jordan: Okay, either the heat in my office is broken, or I drifted off and fantasized about Rudy Giulliani again.
Turk: Haha! He's not even sexy! Right, baby?
Carla: Aye, Rudy, don't stop...
Carla: Aww, that's gonna be us someday.
Turk: How does that not make you nervous!? I mean, what if our kid's out of control? Like, I was watching 'Webster' last night, right? And Webster got all into the pancake mix. And baby, I mean all into the pancake mix!
Carla: Oh, Turk, that's a stupid sitcom!
Turk and J.D. gasp.
Carla: I mean, that's a sitcom.
Janitor: Watch it - wet paint. Kelso's startin' a new line system to help people get around. Green's gonna go to the smoker's lounge; blue, the I.C.U.; yellow to all the exits.
J.D.: What's red for?
Janitor: Sneaker painting.
(Elliot holds her hand up and J.D. runs in to high five)
J.D.: Here's some!
Dr. Cox: You're going to high five that? Bi-hig mistake.
J.D.: I didn't know what I was high fiving. I gotta stop doing that!
Ted: My band has decided we're only singing songs from classic movies now.
J.D.: Ted, I'm a little busy, ok? (Shows his hands which is filled with blood) Toodles.
Dr. Cox: Dorothy, you're going home, are ya?
Dr. Cox: So he's green. Don't beat yourself up, Carla. Come on, so far on my watch, he's gotten stitches, cut his own hair, and eaten over four dollars in change. Honestly, if I ever need to feed the parking meter, I just check the diaper, don't I?
Carla: Why aren't you freaking out? Look at him - your kid's like all green and slimy.
Dr. Cox: Well, I suppose it's because when Jordan was pregnant, I mentally prepared myself for her giving birth to something green and...slimy.
Carla: Where is Jordan, anyway?
Dr. Cox: The wicked witch of the east wing?
Elliot: J.D.! There is no way that I'm gonna be able to pull this off! In a few hours, I'm going to have a room full of specialists firing questions at me! I'm gonna be a bigger fraud than Barry Bonds!
J.D.'s Narration: Okay, you know he's an athlete of some kind. Just say something general!
J.D.: Still, I love it when Bonds wins at the game that he plays...
Turk: Mr. Bolger, look...before you throw me outta here, I just want to apologize about earlier. Um...I don't know what I was thinking. But rest assured, from here on out, whatever you ask me, I will be completely honest with you.
Mr. Bolger: Do you shave your head because you like the way it looks, or because you're going bald?
Dr. Kelso: Eh, Dr. Reid, our hospital lecture series is tonight, and our psychologist, Dr. Burke, had to cancel his talk on fear of public speaking.
Elliot: Why, because he's afraid of speaking in public? Heh. Yeah.
Dr. Kelso: No, uh, his depression finally got the best of him, and he hung himself.
J.D.'s Narration: When a career-making opportunity is slipping through their fingers, even a doctor can succumb to one of the basest human impulses.
Turk: You know, I've donated an organ.
J.D.'s Narration: They can lie.
Turk: See, my buddy? He was-he was sick. And so I gave him one of my kidneys.
Mr. Bolger: But my son has only one heart.
Turk: But, uh... a short time after that... I donated my other kidney.
Dr. Cox: Therefore, Mr. Langley's pancreatitis is most likely secondary to gallstones.
Elliot: Wrong-o, Perry! Mr. Langley's pancreatitis is most likely due to type 1 familial hyperlipoproteinemia as demonstrated by the eruptive xanthomas on his achilles tendon!
Dr. Cox: Interns! Flee! Now! Now there is just no way you could have known that off the top of that straw-covered scarecrow head of yours!
Elliot: Ah! Hold on! I need to take a quick mental picture of your total humiliation! Got it.
Dr. Cox: There-there are actually many things in life that I've yet to figure out, like why men wear cellphones on their belt when they could so easily fit them in their pocket mere millimeters away. Or why - and I'm not complaining - women wear tube-tops even though every ten seconds it makes them do this: [Grabs at his tee-shirt, as if hiking it up over imaginary breasts] Get back in there! But, of all my endless queries, the one thing I damn sure will figure out - and soon - is how you keep coming up with all these fancy-pants answers. It is, for all intents and purposes, like they're falling from the sky.
Elliot: Did you...eat my mango body butter?
J.D.'s Narration: I shmeared it on a bagel.
Elliot: Okay, rocktors - heh, that's my name for doctors who rock next patient!
J.D.'s Narration: Ever since her fellowship, Elliot loved that her interns saw her as an endocrinology expert.
Male Intern: Dr. Reid, why would Mr. Baum develop new onset diabetes and high blood pressure simultaneously?
Elliot: Well, as an endocrinology expert, heh, in my expert opinion, both can be expertly explained by a pituitary adenoma causing Cushing's syndrome.
Dr. Cox: Hate to burst your bubble, there, Barbie, but your endocrinology fellowship lasted all of five days. Granted, to you, five days may seem like an eternity seeing as it's roughly five times as long as any of your white, pasty relationships have lasted. But trust me, that hardly makes you an expert.
Carla: See, Turk, I'm great with kids! And I promise, you don't even have to check in as a parent until you have to teach our son about sports.
Turk: And satisfying women. 'Cause I know how to satisfy a woman, right, baby?
Carla: I'm sure you can.
Turk: That's what I'm talkin' 'bout!
Dr. Kelso: Dorian, I need you to do the residents' call schedules for next month.
J.D.: Sir, I'm not even supposed to be here.
Dr. Kelso: Ahhh, me neither, son. I was one of the most promising young shortstops ever to come out of Altoona, Pennsylvania. Then came the Dominicans. Long story short, calling them all Pepe was apparently just racist enough to get me a life-long ban from the Appalachian Rookie League. Have the schedules on my desk by lunch.
J.D.: Okay, I'm here. What's the emergency, Keith?
Keith: Well, do you want Mr. Fleming on unfractionated or low molecular weight heparin?
J.D.: They're the exact same thing. Every doctor here knows that. Why would you page me?
Dr. Cox: Because I told him to. And I know what you're thinking, Dorothy: Why would I have your intern call you in on one of your very precious days off for something so gosh-darn trivial? Well, the real question ought to be, Why when you were an intern did you call me in time after time after time after time! So, now, to commemorate the first of many unnecessary disruptions of your life, I've invited Laverne's church choir here to summarize my feelings in exuberant song.
Dr. Cox: So if I understand correctly, you left my only child with a creepy borderline psychotic who hates everyone?
Carla: How is that different from leaving him with you?
Dr. Cox: I have freckles.
Dr Cox: Hey you, Where's my son?
Janitor: Oh, he's playing with the birds out on the ledge.
Janitor: I'm kidding, come on. He's green.
Laverne: How was the zoo?
Todd: It was awesome! They had lions, tigers, bears, oh, my!
(Doug enters the elevator with a body bag)
J.D.: (In body bag) Can you press lobby, please?
(Doug freaks out and starts hitting J.D. with a fire extinguisher)
J.D.: Doug! Stop hitting me!
(J.D. gets out of the body bag)
J.D.: Doug! Why were you hitting me?
Doug: I thought you were a dead guy coming back to life.
J.D.: Then why were you hitting me!?
Doug: Dead people should be dead!
J.D.: Just try and imagine what they're going through. I mean, sometimes I think what it's gonna be like when you die.
Turk: Because you think I'm going first due to my diabetes.
J.D. Right, and where do we meet up in heaven?
Turk: At the milkshake pool on the lesbian cloud.
J.D.: I'll see you there, playah! I love religion. The point is, Turk, if someone tried to pull the plug on you without being totally honest with me, you know where they'd end up?
Turk: In Hell, watching 'The View'!
J.D.: Next to the super high, unreachable cupcake table.
Dr. Cox: Look at Jordan and me. You know how we hate everyone?
Dr. Cox: Well, that goes double for kids. They're loud, you don't understand them. Just like tiny cab drivers.
J.D.: Keith, you've got to stop paging me for totally unimportant things...oooh...that mans chest cavity is completely open, I can see his heart beating!
Keith: He sneezed and all the surgical staples popped out.
J.D.: Good page, Keith, good page!
J.D.: You not aware of any sort of odd underground canal system beneath the hospital are you? I think I saw a manatee.
Janitor: Was his name Julian?
J.D.: Well we didn't exchange pleasantries.
Janitor: That's Julian.
Elliot (to Dr. Cox): Oh, really? Because you never went to ass face-school, but you seem to be an expert at that!
J.D.'s Narration: Living with Elliot was certainly different; every inch of her apartment was filled with girly stuff. There were lavender scented candles, pink robes, bath salts... IT...WAS...AWESOME!
Todd: Inflatable five!
Jordan: Relax! She's only fantasizing cause you don't satisfy her!
This episode was nominated for the 2007 Humanitas Prize for 30 Minute Category.
The Scrubs Season Five DVD set features a special extended version of this episode. The extended bits/differences include:
-In the bathtub scene, J.D. adds "curling utensils" to the list of girly stuff in Elliot's apartment. His immediate response to getting paged is, "Dammit! Always when I'm eating!"
-J.D. initially avoids getting his sneakers painted. The Janitor then warns him not to follow the purple line. J.D. follows it into a strange, green glowing room. Upon exiting the room, the Janitor successfully paints his sneakers.
-First additional high-five joke: J.D. unknowingly high-fives the Todd's belief that it's okay to have sex with your first cousin.
-During Dr. Cox's rant about J.D. calling him in "time after time" etc., he lists examples: "...because your patient's stitch popped out, or you couldn't remember where the cottonballs were, or, and this was the kicker, you went to go pants shopping, and you needed someone to be totally honest." When Laverne's church choir is singing, J.D. and Keith are both shown dancing.
-After we come back from the opening credits, J.D.'s walk toward the door is longer, followed by a longer diatribe about coming in on his day off.
-After J.D. fantasizes about Turk knocking over all the cradles, he says "Dominoes are crazy." Carla's hair gets all frizzy when she fantasizes about Rudy Giuliani. Turk's immediate response is, "Carla, we're Democrats!"
-Dr. Cox's "You're going to high-five THAT?" rant is slightly longer. Also, J.D.'s narration says he schmeared the mango body butter on focaccia (in the aired version, it was a bagel).
-When Dr. Kelso is explaining the Bolger situation, he specifically mentions that they need the family's consent because they can't find a donor card. After Dr. Kelso shoos all the surgeons out of his office, he makes eye contact with the blowup doll, and decides to name it Ming Lee.
-After Ted informs J.D. of his band's new direction, he also informs him that they're changing their name: "Also, we're no longer called the 'Worthless Peons', we were sued by a Dutch metal band with the same name. We now go by 'Foghat'."
-The "Maniac" montage is longer, including more dancing from Ted and additional cheat sheets in the elevator, underneath electronic equipment, and taped to the electric paddles.
-After Elliot takes a mental picture of Dr. Cox's total humiliation, she takes a second picture with red-eye reduction. The tube-top portion of Dr. Cox's subsequent rant is missing the "Get back in there!" line. As Dr. Cox storms out of the room, a cheat sheet falls down, and Elliot grabs it.
-When Carla leaves Jack with the Janitor, he protests "C'mon, I'm doing lines here!", which prompts several heads to pop out of a door labelled "Drug rehabilitation." The Janitor responds with "Attention drug addicts, once again: lines of paint." After the druggies sulk away disappointed, Jack says "I wanna do the paint," and the Janitor complies.
-When Dr. Kelso goes to the cafeteria to talk to Elliot, he first asks where all the surgeons are. We then cut to a scene showing that all the surgeons are at the zoo. The Todd asks a young boy if he's seen the Bolgers. He replies, "No, but I saw a monkey playing with himself." The Todd calls for a change in plans. The monkey is referenced by Carla later in the episode, which was in the aired version.
-Turk's conversation with Mr. Bolger eventually turns into a long, convoluted story where Turk claims to have donated three kidneys (he donated two, had two donated to him, and then donated one of those).
-Second additional high five joke: J.D. fails to high-five an African-American intern's statement that abolishing slavery was a good thing. J.D. tries to explain that he's being careful about what he high-fives, but the intern doesn't buy it.
-After Elliot reveals that she was hiding a page on J.D.'s chest, he says, "I knew I felt some Scotch Tape on my Treasure Trail." After Elliot gets the question right, J.D. gives her a high five, and the African-American intern pops up and says "I thought you weren't high-fiving." J.D. replies with "We'll talk later."
-In Jordan's office, we see her kick the heating unit, thus creating the smoke as she's "melting".
The guy playing the father of the heart donor is actually Zach Braff's former acting professor from Northwestern University, David A. Downs.
Turk tells J.D. about his two moves when dealing with the families of patients (surgery goes well: fake modest nod & wink, and if surgery goes bad and the guy dies: the head-shake/sad walk-away). J.D. says he's leaving, which prompts Turk to demonstrate his head-shake/sad walk-away. As he walks off, the Scrubs "sad music" plays, which Bill Lawrence said he retired on one of the episode commentaries on the Season One DVD set. It hasn't been used for several seasons, and this scene references their old standard and pokes fun at it, as the scene isn't acually emotional, and the music cuts out (with a halted-record sound) right before J.D. agrees to stay.
The water trench J.D. drives into cost $70,000 for just a 21-seconds shot. In the commentary, Zach Braff goes on to say how this was the most expensive stunt to date on Scrubs, in that they had to build two swimming pools in the carpark and wreck a scooter.
Near the end of the episode, Ted's a capella group sings the song Over the Rainbow from the "Wizard of Oz" that is in itself an adaptation of an adaptation. What they sing is their version of the late Hawai'ian singer Israel Kamakawiwo'ole's own beautiful adaptation of "Over the Rainbow" released in 1993. His version of the song has been used in film (e.g. "50 First Dates") and in other TV shows (e.g "ER", season 8, ep. #179 [or 8-21] "On the Beach" ). "Izzy" Kamakawiwo'ole's rendition was a medly of Over the Rainbow together with "What a Wonderful World" (famously sang by Louis Armstrong), though Ted's group took that part out.
When Elliot is chatting to J.D. about the seminar she has to give at the end of the day she says she is a 'bigger fraud than Barry Bonds.' Barry Bonds is a famous US baseball player whose career has been dogged by rumors of steroid use.
Alice in Wonderland:
Keeping in line with the fairytale theme of the episode, this line alludes to another classic story; Alice in Wonderland, where a key is on a table, but she's too small to reach it.
The Wizard of Oz:
The episode is loaded with references to the book and film The Wizard of Oz:
- J.D.'s red sneakers (like Dorothy's ruby slippers)
- The yellow line becoming the Yellow Brick Road and Ted's band's a capella version of "We're Off To See The Wizard"
- Dr. Cox as the Wizard
- Jordan as the Wicked Witch of the East
- the heart donor's name is Ray Bolger (Scarecrow in the movie)
- Dr. Cox's son is a munchkin and becomes "Emerald Green"
- The rainbow and a performance of "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" by Ted and his band
- J.D. is called Dorothy by Dr. Cox several times & he's listening to Toto on his iPod. J.D. even tells Turk that "Toto and I are going home!" which is the name of Dorothy's dog
- Dr. Cox tells Dr. Reid that there is no way she knew an obscure bit of endocrinology information "off that straw-covered, scarecrow head of yours." He says it's as if her answers are "falling from the sky." Perhaps like a certain Kansas home into Oz?
- Dr. Cox, Elliot and J.D. work on patients named Baum, Langley and Fleming, referencing L. Frank Baum (who wrote the book), Noel Langley (who wrote the screenplay for The Wizard of Oz) and Victor Fleming (who directed the movie)
- Todd says Dorothy's famous line "Lions and Tigers and Bears, Oh My!" after returning from the zoo
- The Janitor asks Carla for an "Oilcan! Oilcan!" while holding a screwdriver in his mouth so his mouth sounds closed (like when Dorothy and the Scarecrow first find the rusted Tinman)
- Dr. Cox says the Wizard's "pay no attention to the man behind the curtain" line when trying to hide from Carla
- Dr. Cox specifically refers to his wife as "The Wicked Witch of the East Wing."
- Jordan is wilting in the heat trapped in her office and imitates the witch's death saying "I'm melting!" Additionally, her skirt looks like a puddle forming on the floor.
- Dr. Kelso talks about a person who hung himself. This may be a reference to the persistant but false rumour that you can see a hanged man in the background in one of the scenes in the movie. It is said to be the director's son, but since the director has only daughters, this is not true. It's actually a bird flapping its wings.
- Just as in the film, each of the three characters find out they had what they were looking for all along
- The first two parts of the episode are in dark colors while the third part is in brighter colors, just like how the movie starts in a sepia tone and then changes to color.
- The puddle J.D. drives into, disappearing into the puddle and coming out the other side is like Dorthy getting sucked into the tornado and ending up in OZ.
Also, for those who may not have read the book / seen the movie(s), in The Wizard of Oz, the Tin Woodsman wants to get a heart (Turk), the Cowardly Lion courage (Carla) and the Scarecrow a brain (Elliot). Dorothy is just trying to get home (J.D.).
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