Sea Patrol Season 3 Episode 2

Mike: (about 2Dads) He smuggles a monkey on-board which then proceeds to pickpocket the entire crew?
Kate: You know, he has been nothing but trouble since he joined this ship. He behaves like he doesn't want to be here.
Mike: He doesn't. He only joined the Navy to avoid going to jail.
Kate: What?
Mike: He's had minor run-ins with the police since he was a teenager – vandalism, offensive behaviour, that sort of thing. Three years ago, a magistrate recommended his parents get him to join the services, for a bit of discipline before he ends up with a conviction.
Kate: Since when did we become a rehabilitation service?
Mike: I know. Anyway, soon as we're back home, he's off my ship.

2Dads: We'll be okay, Nav. I'll think of something.
Nav: I don't need you comforting me, Leading Seaman. It's your stupidity that got us into this!

Pirate: We have three of your crew hostage. If you try to board us, we will kill them.
Mike: I'd like to speak to Lieutenant Caetano or Chief Engineer Thorpe.
Pirate: No, no, no, no. You get nothing 'til I get what I want.
Mike: And what's that?
Pirate: Two thousand rounds, fifty calibre ammunition.
Mike: In return for my three crew members unharmed.
Pirate: The lieutenant and the engineer, mmmm. But my crew has some business with the young man. Him, we will keep.

Mike: Whatever you did in the market, clearly contributed to these events.
2Dads: Yes, sir. I take full responsibility for my behaviour.
Mike: Up to an hour ago, you were off my ship, headed for a captain's table.
2Dads: Yes, sir.
Mike: But you've earned yourself a last chance.
2Dads: Thank you, sir.
Mike: And the honour of sterilising everywhere that monkey's been with a toothbrush.
2Dads: Yes, sir.
Mike: Now if you wanna stay on my ship, you gotta prove yourself.
2Dads: I won't let you down, boss.
Mike: Very good.
2Dads: Thanks, boss.