Season 8 Episode 10

The Andrea Doria

Aired Thursday 9:00 PM Dec 19, 1996 on NBC
out of 10
User Rating
133 votes

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Episode Summary

George is excited about the new apartment he is going to move into. Elaine is on a blind date, now called a "set-up." Jerry takes Kramer to his self-storage where they discover that Newman has been hiding bags of mail. George finds out he can't get his apartment because the tenant association is going to give it to an Andrea Doria survivor. Elaine is told her date won't be making it because he's been stabbed. She is aroused by the situation. Kramer's cold is getting bad and he's not going to the doctor, they botched his vasectomy, he's more potent now than ever. Jerry tries to get Newman to get rid of the mail; however, he's not interested because he didn't get the transfer to Hawaii. Kramer finds a dog with a cold that he volunteers to take to the vet, so he can get medicine for their colds. Elaine meets her blind date who gets coffee thrown in his face from another ex-girlfriend. She discovers his problem is that he is a "bad breaker upper." George confronts his rival for the apartment and decides to wage war. Elaine's blind date breaks up with her and tells she has "a big head." From a suggestion by Jerry, George asks for a hearing with the association and tells them the story of his life. Jerry forms "an alliance" with Newman that will hopefully get him out of his life forever. Jerry tries to get Kramer to take his medication. He discovers that Kramer is taking dog medication and beginning to exhibit the signs of being a dog. The big head comment begins to hold true for Elaine and she makes a comment about jamming "a fork in his forehead." Jerry tries to take Kramer to a real doctor. After Kramer bites Newman's ankle, Jerry offers to deliver the rest of his mail. He is too efficient for the post office. Elaine meets up with her blind date and makes good on her promise. Kramer saves the day. George and the survivor don't get the apartment.moreless

Who was the Episode MVP ?

  • Andrea Doria

    I was not that big a fan of this episode originally, but rewatching it on TBS made me realize how good it really is. From the way the Elaine and Kramer storylines come together in the final moment with Kramer acting like Lassie, to the rehashing of some of the more notable moments involving George in the show's history.

    The George storyline here was not very Larry David-esque, like a few of the later episodes, but it was still a very funny plot for our favorite short, slow-witted character. And the man did hit it dead on, he is chinless.moreless
  • Pretty good episode.

    The thing that I liked about this episode was its ridiculous relations and parody of certain aspects that real people have in their lives. I think that it was well written, well acted, and it was a good episode with decent comedy. My favorite aspects of the show had to be where George tells the apartment people all of his past troubles. It was just hilarious to see him beat out a survivor of a boat crash for the place. Elaine was funny with troubles about her date. Jerry and Kramer were also decent and it all made for a good episode. Thank you.moreless
  • Elaine has a big head!?

    This episode was so funny. Elaine's plot line I liked the best, that was so weird the events that were happening to her, it's like the guy was creating the weird things that were happening to Elaine, the bird that flies in to her head that was hilarious! The A plot was just as funny, George must of been really shallow not to let an old guy take his apartment, I like how he was talking about "the past". The C plot with Jerry & Newman wasn't so interesting, Jerry & Newman are better enemy's. The D didn't develop but still funny, Kramer taking dog pills, now that's comedy.moreless
  • Jerry helps deliver mail. Elaine dates a bad breaker-upper. George tries to win over an apartment and Kramer's cough makes him sound like a dog.

    This episode is hysterical. Jerry helps his enemy Newman get a transfer to Hawaii by helping deliver the mail, but it doesn't end as planned. Elaine dates a man who is a "bad breaker-upper" and gets offended when he calls her bighead. Meanwhile, George tries to win an apartment over an Andrea Doria survivor. He confesses his life story to the apartment committee and puts them to tears. Kramer has a bad cough and he sounds like a dog. He goes to the vet with the dog and uses the dog medicine. At the end, when someone asks for help, Kramer must go tell the cops and he acts just like a dog. Its a priceless moment.moreless
  • Another one of my favorite episodes

    This ep. had some of the most random plots I've ever seen.

    George buys a new apartment that he just loves, but is disapointed when he finds out that they're giving the apartment to an Andrea Doria survivor. George is upset.

    Elaine has just started going out with a guy named Alan, but at the Old Mill resturant, he doesn't show up. It turns out he was stabbed by his ex-girlfriend. Elaine then goes ahead and eats more bread lol

    Once Alan is all better, he and Elaine finally go out on a date where they have coffee and whatever. Then, ANOTHER one of Alan's ex-girlfriends comes along and throws coffee in his face. Alan gets badly burned. What's up with Alan? He's a bad breaker-upper. So Elaine decides to break up with him. Alan's breakup excuse? He calls Elaine a "big-head" Pretty pathetic...until a bird flies right into Elaine's big head lol

    Now for Kramer's story: He has a bad cold, but doesn't want to see a doctor after they botched his visectomy. He continues to suffer until he finds a dog named Smuckers who shares the same virus. He takes him to a vet and gets medicine. This is the funny part: Kramer has to take dog pills! LMFAO! He then starts acting like a dog which is truly funny.

    Anyway, Jerry's story: He finds that his arch-nemesis Newman has been hiding mail in this self-storage. That is, until Newman learns that a mailman that got a transfer to Hawaii was fired for hoarding Victoria Secret catalogs. Newman now has a chance to get the Hawaii transfer, but it won't be easy. He's got 8 bags of mail to deliver. He needs help so he and Jerry team up. "Whatever it takes, whenever it takes as long as it takes you away from me!"

    Unfortunately, Newman's chances are shattered again after Kramer bites him on the street. Jerry has to take over the mail and does a good job...too good actually. Newman ends up not getting the transfer because too many people got mail. Jerry is fired, Newman takes off his hat and rips the mail badge off his jacket.

    "This is your jacket btw"

    "DAMN!" LOL

    To wrap the story up, Elaine goes back to talk to Alan, but he insults her again and Elaine starts stabbing him with a fork. Kramer aka Lassie runs to the cops and tells them there's trouble at the Old Mill :P

    As for George both he and the Andrea Doria Survivor fight for control of the apartment. They each tell tales of their past, and has it turns out the astonishing tales of Costanza brought tears to the landlady's eyes. Yeah, shrinkage really is sad lol

    But George still doesn't get the apartment. Alan does, all because he was stabbed twice and burned with coffee. And what does George get in return? A "chinless" insult and a trip back to his old apartment. Poor George, but what a funny episode this was!

Tom Gallop

Tom Gallop


Guest Star

Ray Stricklyn

Ray Stricklyn


Guest Star

Diana Bellamy

Diana Bellamy

Mrs. Ricardi

Guest Star

Wayne Knight

Wayne Knight


Recurring Role

Estelle Harris

Estelle Harris

Estelle Costanza

Recurring Role

Jerry Stiller

Jerry Stiller

Frank Costanza

Recurring Role

Trivia, Notes, Quotes and Allusions


  • TRIVIA (6)

    • When George recounts the unfortunate events of his life to the rental board, he tells them about real on-screen events from "The Subway" (season 3), "The Limo" (season 3), "The Hamptons" (season 5), "The Rye" (season 7), and "The Invitations" (season 7).

    • George reveals to be 34 even though he gave his age as 33 in "The Heart Attack" which was 6 years ago.

    • When George is telling the tenants committee the story of his life, he mentions "the water I had been swimming in was very cold, and when I dropped the towel… there had been… significant shrinkage". This is obviously a reference to "The Hamptons", in which Rachel (then Jerry's girlfriend) walked in on him naked. BUT as you may remember, he hadn't dropped the towel; he took off his swimming trunks! Oops! But then again, I'm sure (owing to the fact that George is a whopping liar) that he just built that story for effect and didn't put any effort into going into true details.

    • Elaine eats more bread before seeing her stabbed boyfriend. She also does this in the episode when she has more Juji Fruits before going to the hospital to see her boyfriend.

    • Kramer says that a doctor botched his vasectomy. In "The Chinese Woman," our friend Cosmo is concerned about preserving the Kramer name. If he was the last male Kramer, why would he go for a vasectomy? Kramer got a vasectomy for Pam in "The Soul Mate". If you remember, he walks out at the end of the episode and looks as though he is in considerable pain. As a result, Jerry and Newman run out of the surgery.

    • When George is in his new apartment at the beginning of the episode the door says it is apartment number 608. When the head of the tenant association comes down to talk to him she says that Mr. Eldridge from Apt. 8C is getting the aparment. I grew up in NYC apartment buildings and I have never heard of a building using two ways to number their apartments.

  • QUOTES (19)

    • Elaine: A bird ran into my giant freak-head.
      Jerry: What giant freak-head?
      Elaine: The one that sits atop my disproportionately puny body. I'm a walking candy apple!

    • Alan: (to Elaine) You've got a big head. It's too big for your body.

    • George: (about Mr. Eldridge) Even if he did suffer, that was, like, forty years ago! What has he been doing lately? I've been suffering for the past thirty years up to and including yesterday!

    • Newman: Hawaii... The most sought-after postal route of them all. The air is so dewy-sweet you don't even have to lick the stamps.

    • Kramer: No doctors for me. A bunch of lackeys and yes-men all towing the company line. Plus, they botched my vasectomy.
      Jerry: They botched it?
      Kramer: I'm even more potent now!

    • Jerry: Did you find out who stabbed him?
      Elaine: Yeah, it turns out it was his ex-girlfriend.
      Jerry: Well, you're not going near this hooligan anymore.
      Elaine: Well, I don't know. I mean, think about it, Jerry. There must be something exciting about this guy if he can arouse that kind of passion. I mean, to be stab-worthy. You know, it's kind of a compliment.
      Jerry: Yeah, too bad he didn't get shot. He could have been the one.

    • Jerry: (about Elaine's blind date) They like to call it a set-up now. I guess the blind people don't like being associated with all those losers.

    • Jerry: (about George's new apartment) So, it's a two-bedroom one-bath make-your-friends-hate-ya?

    • Elaine: All I have to do is call him up, and sit with him, and show him that it doesn't bother me. You know, laugh it off. Or jam a fork into his forehead.
      Jerry: Either way.

    • Newman: You can't deliver mail!
      Jerry: Well, why not?
      Newman: I guess you're right. It's just walking around putting it into boxes.

    • George: That's my apartment. I earned it with 34 years of misery.
      Alan: Tough luck, chinless!

    • Jerry: I've been trying to jam stuff in the box, like you told me, but sometimes it says, "Photographs - Do not bend."
      Newman: "Do not bend?" (laughs) Just 'crease, crumple, cram'; you'll do fine.

    • Jerry: What happened?
      Newman: Kramer bit me!

    • Elaine: I found out he's a bad breaker-upper.
      Jerry: Bad how?
      Elaine: Well, you know when you break up, how you say things you don't mean? Well, he says the mean things you don't mean, but he means them.
      Jerry: I follow. So, what are you going to do?
      Elaine: Dump him. I can't be with someone who doesn't break up nicely. I mean, to me, that's one of the most important parts of a relationship.

    • Kramer: 51 people died.
      George: 51 people? That's it?! I thought it was like a thousand!
      Kramer: 1060 survivors.
      George: Thats no tragedy! How many do you lose on a regular cruise? 30? 40?!

    • George: In closing, these stories have not been embellished because they need no embellishment. They are simply, horrifyingly the story of my life as a short, stocky, slow-witted bald man. (George gets up to leave and adds, almost as an afterthought) Oh, also… my fiancée died from licking toxic envelopes that I picked out.

    • George: The Stockholm may not have sunk ya, but I will!

    • George: Ahoy, Mr. Eldridge. I understand you were on the Andrea Doria.
      Mr. Eldridge: Yes, it was a terrifying ordeal.
      George: I tell ya, I hear people really stuff themselves on those cruise ships. The buffet, that's the real ordeal, huh, Clarence?
      Mr. Eldridge: We had to abandon ship.
      George: Well, all vacations have to end eventually.
      Mr. Eldridge: The boat sank.
      George: According to this, it took ten hours. It eased into the water like an old man into a nice warm bath, no offense.

    • Jerry: Elaine, Newman is my sworn enemy, and he lives down the hall from my home. My home, Elaine! Where I sleep; where I come to play with my toys.

  • NOTES (1)


    • Lassie:

      The scene where Kramer is trying to tell the police officers about Elaine stabbing Alan at the Old Mill Restaurant is a spoof of Lassie. Often in Lassie episodes someone—usually Timmy—would get into trouble by, for example falling down at the old mill. Lassie would then run to someone for help but being unable to speak, would find it difficult to explain the situation much as Kramer did while coughing.

      Also, Kramer takes dog medication in this episode and exhibits other canine behavior further facilitating his transformation into Lassie.

    • Jerry: Elaine, Newman is my sworn enemy, and he lives down the hall from my home. My home, Elaine! Where I sleep; where I come to play with my toys.

      Don Corleone says this in the 1974 film, "The Godfather, Part II", although it is worded slightly differently. He says it is where his wife sleeps and where his children come to play with their toys. The Don is referring to being shot at in his own house.