This ep. had some of the most random plots I've ever seen.
George buys a new apartment that he just loves, but is disapointed when he finds out that they're giving the apartment to an Andrea Doria survivor. George is upset.
Elaine has just started going out with a guy named Alan, but at the Old Mill resturant, he doesn't show up. It turns out he was stabbed by his ex-girlfriend. Elaine then goes ahead and eats more bread lol
Once Alan is all better, he and Elaine finally go out on a date where they have coffee and whatever. Then, ANOTHER one of Alan's ex-girlfriends comes along and throws coffee in his face. Alan gets badly burned. What's up with Alan? He's a bad breaker-upper. So Elaine decides to break up with him. Alan's breakup excuse? He calls Elaine a "big-head" Pretty pathetic...until a bird flies right into Elaine's big head lol
Now for Kramer's story: He has a bad cold, but doesn't want to see a doctor after they botched his visectomy. He continues to suffer until he finds a dog named Smuckers who shares the same virus. He takes him to a vet and gets medicine. This is the funny part: Kramer has to take dog pills! LMFAO! He then starts acting like a dog which is truly funny.
Anyway, Jerry's story: He finds that his arch-nemesis Newman has been hiding mail in this self-storage. That is, until Newman learns that a mailman that got a transfer to Hawaii was fired for hoarding Victoria Secret catalogs. Newman now has a chance to get the Hawaii transfer, but it won't be easy. He's got 8 bags of mail to deliver. He needs help so he and Jerry team up. "Whatever it takes, whenever it takes as long as it takes you away from me!"
Unfortunately, Newman's chances are shattered again after Kramer bites him on the street. Jerry has to take over the mail and does a good job...too good actually. Newman ends up not getting the transfer because too many people got mail. Jerry is fired, Newman takes off his hat and rips the mail badge off his jacket.
"This is your jacket btw"
To wrap the story up, Elaine goes back to talk to Alan, but he insults her again and Elaine starts stabbing him with a fork. Kramer aka Lassie runs to the cops and tells them there's trouble at the Old Mill :P
As for George both he and the Andrea Doria Survivor fight for control of the apartment. They each tell tales of their past, and has it turns out the astonishing tales of Costanza brought tears to the landlady's eyes. Yeah, shrinkage really is sad lol
But George still doesn't get the apartment. Alan does, all because he was stabbed twice and burned with coffee. And what does George get in return? A "chinless" insult and a trip back to his old apartment. Poor George, but what a funny episode this was!