Elaine: (about Jerry's lie that he doesn't watch Melrose Place) This is so stupid! Why don't you just confess?
Jerry: It's too stupid to confess. Look what I'm confessing to.
Elaine: Well, what are going to do?
Jerry: I don't know. Maybe I could beat the machine.
Elaine: Uh! Who do you think you are? Costanza?
Jerry: Hey, you know what? I have access to one of the most deceitful, duplicitous, deceptive minds of our time. Who better to advise me?