Season 3 Episode 5

The Library

Aired Thursday 9:00 PM Oct 16, 1991 on NBC



  • Trivia

    • In this episode Jerry claims that he doesn't drink coffee and doesn't have any when Mr. Bookman asks for coffee. In the pilot, Jerry was seen drinking coffee.

    • Kramer claims that "a nickel a day for twenty years" would come to $50,000. Including the five leap years between 1971 and 1991, a nickel a day for twenty years only comes to $365.25.

    • They say Heyman is fired for giving George a wedgie. In the 1st shot Heyman goes for the waistband but the next shot it was only the students and Heyman is standing back.

    • Marion says that Mr. Bookman has been working at the library for 25 years, however, he states that 1971 was his first year on the job, which would mean he's been working at the library for twenty years, not twenty five.

      Response: He only became the Library cop in 1971. Obviously, he was given a promotion.

    • When Mr. Bookman pays a visit to Jerry, he picks up a book from the shelf and subsequently places it back. Keep your eye on that book as you will see it move to a different position on the shelf just a few moments later.

  • Quotes

    • George: I don't understand lunch. I don't know anything about lunch.

    • Mr. Bookman: You'd better not screw up again, Seinfeld, because if you do, I'll be all over you like a pit-bull on a poodle.

    • Mr. Bookman: I don't judge a man by the length of his hair or the kind of music he listens to. Rock was never my bag. But you put on a pair of shoes when you walk into the New York Public Library, fella.

    • Kramer: The Dewey Decimal System… What a scam that was!

    • George: So I said, "Mr. Hayman, It's me george Costanza, JFK, ... " He doesn't move. So I said uh, "Can't stand ya'", "Can't stand ya'" He turns and smiles, the little baked bean teeth. I get up to run away, but something was holding me back. It was Heyman. He had my underwear. There I was on the steps of the 42nd St. library ,a grown man, getting a wedgie.
      Elaine: At least it wasn't atomic.
      George: It was.

    • George: Listen, just because I got the guy fired doesn't mean I turned him into a bum - does it?

    • George: He [Mr. Haymen] purposely mispronounced my name. Instead of saying Costanza, he'd say 'Can't stand ya'.

    • Kramer: Bookman. The Library cop's name is Bookman. That's like an ice cream man being named cone!

    • Mr. Bookman: Sure, we're too old to change the world, but what about that kid, sitting down, opening a book, right now, in a branch at the local library and finding drawings of pee-pees and wee-wees on the Cat in the Hat and the Five Chinese Brothers? Doesn't he deserve better?

    • Elaine: Remember that Columbus book?
      Jerry: Columbus... Euro trash

    • Jerry: It reminds me of like this pathetic friend that everbody had when they were a little kid who would let you borrow any of his stuff if you would just be his friend. That's what the library is. A government funded pathetic friend.

    • Elaine: Lippman wants to see me. SEE ME! That can't be good.
      Jerry: Maybe you're getting a raise.
      Elaine: Maybe I'm getting a wedgie.

    • Kramer: HELLO!
      Marion: HELLO!
      Mr. Bookman: Hello.

    • Mr. Bookman: (to Jerry) Well I got a flash for ya' joy-boy.

    • Kramer: (on the loney librarian) She needs a little tenderness...she needs a little understanding...she needs a little Kramer.
      Jerry: Then she'll need a little penicillin.

    • Elaine: (on boys giving wedgies, etc.) Boys are sick.
      Jerry: What do girls do?
      Elaine: We just tease someone 'til they develop an eating disorder!

  • Notes

    • This is Harris Shore's only appearance as Mr. Lippman. Richard Fancy assumes that role beginning in the "The Red Dot."

  • Allusions

    • Henry Miller's books "Tropic of Cancer" and "Tropic of Capricorn" were banned for many years for their open sexual content.

    • Mr. Bookman's delivery of his rants sounds reminiscent of Sgt. Joe Friday from Dragnet.

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