Elaine Marie Benes (not in pilot)
George Louis Costanza
Jerry and Newman don't say their "Hello"'s like they usually do.
When Kramer is in the Calvin Klein meeting room in his jockies and he slides down the wall, he leaves a giant smear of body makeup on the wall.
George: Was it a scratch or a pick?
Jerry: It was a pick!
George: Hey, it's me you're talking to! Was there any nostril penetration?
Jerry: (stutters) There may have been some accidental penetration!
George: Is this Elaine? (picks up the card)
George: Huh! (makes an unusual look to the card)
Elaine: I don't know but… I think I see your…
George: So we go to her apartment and she goes to the bathroom. I'm cursing myself, "now how do I get out of here?" Then it hit me like a bolt of lightning. The pick!
Jerry: Are we not human?! If we pick, do we not bleed?!
Co-worker: (Pokes his head into the doorway) Hey, Nip, you need that manuscript or can I take it home?
Elaine: Yeah, take it! Take it! And stop calling me "Nip"!
Jerry: But I was clearly on the outer edge of the nostril.
Tia: I know what I saw. (Turns toward the elevators)
Jerry: But there, but there was no pick! I, I did not pick! There was no pick!
Tia: I gotta go. (she quickly walks away from Jerry)
Jerry: No! No pick!
George: Two weeks ago I tried a soft boiled egg. Never liked it before. Now I'm dunking a piece of toast in there and I'm loving it.
Susan: I'm not a soft boiled egg.
George: And I am not a piece of toast.
George: Hey! How come I didn't get a Christmas card? Everybody else got one. Jerry got one, Kramer got one. I thought we were good friends. I don't get a Christmas card. I don't get it.
Elaine: You want a Christmas card? You want a Christmas card? All right here. (rubs George's head on her breasts) Here's your Christmas card.
Jerry: Let me ask you something. If you were going out with somebody and if she did that what would, would you do? Would you continue going out with her?
George: No. That's disgusting!
Jerry: Is that so unforgivable? Is that like breaking a commandment? Did God say to Moses thou shalt not pick?
Jerry: What? So what? It's a nipple. A little brown circular protuberance. What's the big deal? See everybody's got them. See I got them. (lifts up shirt)
Kramer: I got them too. (lifts up shirt also)
Jerry: See? Everybody's got them.
Jerry: Here. Take a look at this card. Tell me if you notice anything unusual about it.
Newman: Yeah, your nipple's showing.
Elaine: So, what's that?
Kramer: (not noticing) That's a nipple.
Kramer: (notices it) Ooo!
Elaine: Aw, great!? Didn't you see that?
Kramer: Aw, no, no I didn't notice it. No.
Elaine: (shocked) That's my nipple. My nipple's exposed. I sent this card to hundreds of people! My parents. My boss. Ah, Nana and Papa.
Jerry: Did you look at look at this picture carefully?
Jerry: Because I'm not sure and … and … and correct me if I'm wrong but I think I see a nipple.
George: What is with this damn zipper?
Kramer: THE BEACH!!! (enters the apartment) You smell like the beach. What's the name of that perfume you're wearing?
Tia: It's Ocean by CALVIN KLEIN.
Kramer: CALVIN KLEIN? No, no. That's my idea. They, they stole my idea. Y'see I had the idea of a cologne that makes you smell like you just came from the beach.
Jerry: I know look at this (shows an ad from CK)
Kramer: (shocked) Whooo! That's you! What is going on here? The gyp, he laughs at me then he steals my idea. I could have been a millionaire. I could have been a fragrance millionaire, Jerry. They're not going to get away with this. (leaves)
Kramer: What's the matter with you? I just wanted to see how tall she was.
Jerry: Oh, you're tall. She's tall I'm tall. What's the difference who's tall? We're all tall.
Kramer: I just wanted to borrow your "Dust Buster."
Jerry: So, I'm thinking of putting in a tropical fish tank right here.
Tia: Are you sure you're ready for that kind of commitment?
Jerry: Well, I figure if it doesn't work out I can always flush them down the toilet.
Tia: That's horrible!
George: (singing) Oh hey, if you happen to see the most beautiful girl who walked out on me. Tell her I'm sorry. Tell her I need my baby, oh, won't you tell her. I love her. Oh, hey…
Jerry: George I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to leave.
George: She made a big breakfast every Sunday. I don't know what she put in those eggs.
Elaine: Not only didn't you love her, you didn't even like her.
George: Who says?
Elaine: You did.
Jerry: Volunteer work… See, that's what I love about the holiday season. That's the true spirit of Christmas. People being helped by people other than me. That makes me feel good inside.
Elaine: Date with Fred.
Jerry: The religious guy???
Elaine: He's not THAT religious!
Jerry: Let us pray...
Elaine: Let me tell you, I didn't intentionally expose myself, but, now, I wish I had. For it is not me, but you who have been exposed, for I have seen the nipple on your soul!
Jerry: I am not an animal!
CK Representative: His buttocks are sublime.
Jerry: If we pick, do we not bleed? I am not an animal!
Shylock in "The Merchant of Venice": "If you prick us, do we not bleed?" The Elephant Man: "I am not an animal! I am a human being!"
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