Seinfeld Season 9 Episode 3

Elaine: I'm not buying a computer from you.
George: There's porn.
Elaine (thinks about it for a second): Even so.

Jerry: George, letting my emotions out was the best thing I've ever done. Sure, I'm not funny anymore, but there's more to life than making shallow, fairly obvious observations.

Frank: Starting tonight we're having a little sales contest. The loser gets fired. The winner gets a Water Pik.

Jerry: You've heard me yell.
George: Not really. Your voice kind of raises to this comedic pitch.

Patty: I've never seen you mad.
Jerry: I get peeved.
Patty: Mad.
Jerry: Miffed.
Patty: Mad.
Jerry: Irked.
Patty:I would like to see you get really mad.

George: (referring to Jerry and Elaine) You know, all these years, I've always wanted to see the two of you get back together.
Elaine: Well, that's because you're an idiot.

George: (Walking in as Jerry is kneeling in order to propose to Elaine) Something wrong with your leg?

Elaine: If you weren't Jewish, you wouldn't be interested in me.
Mr. Lippman: You are wrong. I'll prove it.
Elaine: Oh, no. Don't!
Mr. Lippman: I renounce Judaism!
Elaine: Oy, vey!

Frank: SERENITY NOW! SERENITY NOW!
George: "Serenity now?" What's that?
Frank: I got a tape on how to lower my blood pressure. Whenever it starts to get too high, the man on the tape said to say, "SERENITY NOW!"
George: Are you supposed to shout it?
Frank: The man on the tape wasn't specific.

Jerry: 1%? They can kiss 1% of my ass!

Lloyd: Serenity now. Insanity later.

Jerry:I don't know what's happening to me.
Kramer: Simple. You let out one emotion, all the rest will come
with it. It's like Endora's box.
Jerry: That was the mother on Bewitched. You mean Pandora.
Kramer: Yeah, well, she... had one, too.

Kramer: Y'all come back reeeeal –
(Jerry slams door)

Jerry: Oh, you think I'm lying about this?
Patty: I think you are.
Jerry: Well, I'm not.
Patty: Yes, you are, liar.
Jerry: Oh, stop it.
Patty: OK, liar.
Jerry: That's enough!
Patty: Ooh that was good.
Jerry: Really? It felt good.

Elaine: What's the matter?
Jerry: It's Patty.
Elaine: Jerry, you break up with a girl every week.
Jerry: What is this salty discharge?
Elaine: Oh my God, you're crying.
Jerry: This is horrible. I care.

Jerry: I love you Kramer.
Kramer: Yeah I love you too buddy.

Elaine: What happened to the new Jerry?
Jerry: He doesn't work here anymore.

Frank: Hoochie mamma! Hoochie mamma!

Frank: Serenity now!

Kramer: Serenity now!

George: Serenity now!

Kramer: Hoochie mamma.