Season 9 Episode 15

The Wizard

Aired Thursday 9:00 PM Feb 26, 1998 on NBC
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Episode Summary

Jerry buys his dad a $200 Wizard organizer for a birthday present. George receives a message from Susan's parents, the Rosses. Jerry and George debate about the race of Elaine's new boyfriend and that intrigues her (is he black?). George returns the call from the Rosses; the Foundation is having an event this weekend, but George can't attend, he has to close on his house in the Hamptons. Kramer announces his retirement, a Hollywood big shot has optioned his coffee table book about coffee tables. Elaine finds evidence that leads her to believe her boyfriend is black. Susan's parents see George on the street in the city, during the time he is supposed to be in the Hamptons. Jerry is woken up early in the morning at his parent's house and gives his father the "$50" organizer that has many features besides a tip calculator. Later he discovers that Kramer has moved down there, to join the other retirees. Elaine laughs when Susan's parents ask her about George's house in the Hamptons. Of course, George just builds on the lie. Morty, who can't run for president of the condo association, decides that Kramer should run for condo board president of Del Boca Vista phase III. Once Kramer is elected, Morty will run things from behind the scenes. Elaine schemes to try to determine her boyfriend's race. George finds out the Rosses knew that he lied. He decides to take them to the Hamptons, to "see who'll blink first." Kramer begins his campaign and the Boca Breeze has good things to say about him (see NOTE:). When Elaine's boyfriend says they are an interracial couple, she is convinced he is black. George keeps building on his lie, as he picks up the Rosses and takes them on their ride to the Hamptons. Kramer receives some bad press from the Boca Breeze; it's damage control time. Kramer suggests buying each member of the board one of those Wizard tip calculators. Jerry knows he can't get the deal he told his father he'd received, but Kramer says not to worry, Bob Saccamando's father lives down here and can help them out. Elaine and her boyfriend discover that each is not the race they thought the other was. Saccamando's father comes through with knock-off tip calculators called Willard, they are defective and the election is lost. George and the Rosses reach the Hamptons, where the truth wins out.moreless

Who was the Episode MVP ?

Samuel Bliss Cooper

Samuel Bliss Cooper


Guest Star

Edgar Small

Edgar Small

Sid Luckman

Guest Star

Vic Helford

Vic Helford


Guest Star

Grace Zabriskie

Grace Zabriskie

Mrs. Ross

Recurring Role

Warren Frost

Warren Frost

Mr. (Henry) Ross

Recurring Role

Liz Sheridan

Liz Sheridan

Helen Seinfeld

Recurring Role

Trivia, Notes, Quotes and Allusions


  • TRIVIA (5)

    • Jerry says that he hasn't seen Kramer work in "a long while" but he had a job at a bagel shop just a few episodes ago in "The Strike".

    • When Elaine is talking to George and Jerry about Darryl possibly being black, her purse switches from being on her shoulder to not being visible at all.

    • George quickly makes up names for his fake horses. One is named "Prickly Pete". Just a few episodes later in "The Frogger", George is introduced to Kramer's nemesis "Slippery Pete".

    • Morty uses the Wizard to calculate a tip in the restauraunt, which at 12.4%, means a "$4.36666" tip. There is no value of a meal which, at that rate, yields that size tip: the meal would have cost between $35.21 and $35.22.

    • If you watch Mr. Ross closely at Monks after Elaine leaves you can clearly see him having his hands behind his back one second and the VERY next shot shows him immediately having his hands in his pockets.

  • QUOTES (15)

    • George: And I have horses too.
      Mr. Ross: What are their names?
      George: Snoopy and Prickly Pete.

    • George: I'm calling up the Rosses and inviting them out to my non-existent place in the Hamptons. Then we'll see who blinks first.
      Elaine: Haven't you done enough to these people?

    • Kramer: Boys, I'm retiring.
      Jerry: From what?
      Kramer: From the grind. I mean, who needs it? I've accomplished everything I've set out to do.

    • (At night, George is out outside his car with the Rosses on the beach)
      Mr. Ross: Where are we, George?
      George: Almost there.
      Mr. Ross: Well, this is the end of Long Island. Where's your house?
      George: We, uh, we go on foot from here.
      Mr. Ross: All right.
      (Few seconds of silence)
      George There's no house! It's a lie! There's no solarium. There's no Prickly Pete. There's no other solarium.
      Mr. Ross: We know.
      George: Then, why? Why did you make me drive all the way out here? Why didn't you say something? Why? Why? Why?
      Mrs. Ross: We don't like you, George.
      Mr. Ross: And we always blamed you for what happened to Susan.
      George: Oh.
      Mr. Ross: All right! Let's head back.

    • Darryl: So . . . we're just a couple of white people?
      Elaine: I guess so. (Pause) Wanna go to the Gap?
      Darryl: Sure!

    • Elaine: So Kramer's running for president of the condo?
      Jerry: Yeah, it's all my father's doing. He wants to install Kramer in a puppet regime and then wield power from behind the scenes.
      Elaine: Who are they running against?
      Jerry: Common sense and a guy in a wheelchair.

    • George: I've been lying about my income for a few years. I figure I can afford a fake house in the Hamptons.

    • Jerry: (about retirement homes) Kramer, you can't live here. This is where people come to die! (his parents look at him)

    • Kramer: Polls close in an hour; I think we got this baby all sewn up. (fishes a wizard out of his pocket) There was one extra. (shakes head) Norman Bergerman...he won't be leaving any tips where he is.

    • Old Guy: Morty, your boy here just got a date with that young aquacise instructor.
      Jerry: She's fifty!

    • Helen: I'll fix ya something. How about feta cheese omelet?
      Kramer: Mmmm, that sounds great, Mom.
      Jerry: You feed him, he'll never leave!
      Helen: I don't have any feta. How about cottage cheese and egg beaters?
      Kramer: (pouts) I guess...

    • Helen: The press would bury him.
      Jerry: What press?!
      Helen: The Boca Breeze.
      Morty: Pinko commie rag!

    • Morty: How could you spend 200 dollars on a tip calculator!?!
      Jerry: It does other things!

    • Elaine: (to Darryl) You're black. You said we were an interracial couple.
      Darryl: We are. Because you're Hispanic.
      Elaine: I am?
      Darryl: Aren't you?
      Elaine: No. Why would you think that?
      Darryl: Your name's Benes, your hair, and you kept taking me to those Spanish restaurants.
      Elaine: That's because I thought you were black.

    • (George is preparing to drive the Rosses to the Hamptons)
      George: Ya wanna get nuts? LET'S GET NUTS!!!

  • NOTES (2)


    • Morty protesting that he resigned as condo president instead of being impeached is a reference to Richard Nixon, who resigned from Presidency of the United States before he could be impeached.

    • George: "Ya wanna get nuts? LET'S GET NUTS!!!"
      Obvious homage to the scene from the 1989 film "Batman" where Batman (Michael Keaton) confronts the Joker (Jack Nicholson).

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