Bevan: In the three weeks Stephanie was in a coma after the bagel accident we've had more positive feedback than even when the weather girl wore that see-through top with no bra!
Alan: Look, I don't care how much money they give us, they can't interfere with the creative side of the show! Having her choke on that bagel was an artistic decision.
Matt: Artistic?! I thought it was because the network said, 'We hate her', and we're like, 'Cool! Let's kill her in the most embarrassing way possible!'
Alan: Well, yes, it had a vindictive element to it, but the essential 'bagel-ness' was an artistic decision!
Simone: What can we do for you, Andrew?
Andrew: Kill me.
Simone: Okay. Here, now?
Andrew: Uh, uh, uh! Not me, my character. And not in a 'dead' kind of way so I can't be in the show anymore. I want to be nearly dead.
Simone: In a coma, like Stephanie.
Andrew: Yes! I could do some of my best acting in a coma.
Sally: (when the network wants to bring back a dead character) Now, now, now, let's not rule anything out, shall we?
Pauline: She choked on a bagel! Then she was put on life support, then they pulled the plug! She was autopsied, most of her internal organs were given to other people. We saw her body go into a coffin, we saw the coffin go into the ground, we saw the dirt cover the coffin. You can stop me whenever you like...
Bevan: It's what the network wants.
Alan: And what the network wants...
Bevan: We do pay for the show.
Sally: (very perky) So, that's that sorted out.
Bevan: We want to bring her back.
Pauline: She's dead.
Bevan: Our audience survey shows that while she was in a coma, she was by far the most popular character.
Pauline: We put her in a coma because the audience survey said that everybody hated her. Now she's dead.
Bevan: But now, they love her!