An instruction guide on how to be a whore & dress like a slut! (Update: Lol cancelled!)
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Thank Lord Neptune this horrible excuse for a show got cancelled! One less shit show to air on Disney Channel! Now all that's missing is Austin & Ally, Jessie, ANT Farm, Dog with a Blog, & Live and Maddie :D
The main thing this show is teaching young girls is how to dress like whores, & become strippers when they grow up.
The so-called songs in this trash is nothing but auto-tune & heavy editing. The fangirls of this show are giving me & everyone else excuses as to why they use auto-tune so much, such as how one of the girls has some sort of dysfunction or whatever, but that's not excuse. If you can't sing, then you can't sing, even with auto-tune. There is nothing wrong with using a bit of auto-tune, but when you rape the usage of a piece of technology like that, like the way Selena Gomez or this show does, then we have a problem.
The dancing is tediously bad; the two girls in this show couldn't dance to save their own lives. Every time they 'dance' around, they look like nothing more than a bunch of monkeys throwing their arms & legs everywhere. And not to mention that their coordination is below the barrel of mediocre when compared to superior dancing moves like what you can find in other, much superior dancing movies/shows like Smash, Step Up 3D, Footloose (remake), Hairspray (2007), Dirty Dancing, West Side Story, & Saturday Night Fever. If you call Shake it Up's dancing great, then there is seriously something wrong with you.
As far as the acting goes, oh man, let me tell you that I've seen better acting in any of the first 3 Twilight movies (Breaking Dawn's acting was actually great, for once), The Fog (remake), A Nightmare on Elm Street (remake), & even Species than in this garbage. Bella Thorne & Zendeya need to learn how to act pronto (as well as looking for a talent)! Even the most mediocre actors/actresses like Tara Reid, & Ashton Kutcher have far more talent than they do! The same can be said for every other actor present here. All of the actors here give a performance as if they mixed acid with Monster after adding crap-loads of sugar in it.
As for the costumes, please, they are just awful, slutty, & according to a few of a my friends from Chicago, have no single trait of a Chicagoan. Characters are also blatantly annoying, & unrealistic, but the most annoying characters are the fraternal twins (Gunther & Tinka?), who are annoying beyond the barrier, & have the fakest/cheapest accents ever. The accents in "Queen of the Damned" sound much more authentic compared to their accents (& the accents in that movie sounded fake as fuck). Massive stereotyping is also found here.
Then we come to the show's plot & realism. Does it have those two? Not even! One of the characters' mom is some sort of security guard for the apartment they live in, but what's unrealistic about that? Its that their apartment itself is something they CANNOT afford, seriously, especially under a security guard's salary. Another unrealistic thing? How the hell did the main characters even get on the 'popular' show Shake it Up Chicago in the first place? Because the show apparently needs two good dancers who are talented. And i can tell you, again, that Cece & Rocky have neither of those two qualities, & cannot get jobs that easily as dancing teachers with their dreadful choreography.
The characters are no better. Sometimes I feel like Rocky & Cece are lesbians still hiding it severely behind their faces. Because seriously, these two do EVERYTHING together; they eat together, they dance together, they share the same room together, & I'll be they even take a shit & sleep together. And also, how are these two even friends in the first place? Cece is always taking shit from Rocky, & I mean always. Rocky always puts Cece down or leaves her in her shadow. So how these two are supposed to be called friends, I will never know. Cece is also a whore, because in another episode, she wanted a date with a college guy.
And the overall message of the show? Like i said above, to show little girls to dress like a bunch of sluts, & become strippers! How so? For one, look at the way the girls in the show dress! No teenage girl that has a hint of sanity in her brain would dress like Rocky & Cece do, & no parent that has self-respect for their kids will go out & buy their terrible outfits. And secondly, the girls in this show dance for nothing but crap that they want, not that they NEED. In the pilot episode, they danced in the subway station to earn some cash. For food? NO! For a damn cellphone! In another, the two of them snuck out of their room to go into an ADULT PARTY, & they're only 14 YEARS OLD! If that's not being a whore, then i don't know what is!
That's the the other thing in this show; it shows horrible lesons to kids. Such as whoring yourself out, complaining & whining about things that aren't a big deal, putting down others, not giving a damn about school or homework simply because it's "not cool/hip", disobeying your parents & frankly be rude to all adults, being highly superficial & judging your friends on their appearance, being sassy, & sneak out of the house only to go to a big kid party. Oh, & I almost forgot that it's so hip to be under 14 & date someone well over 16 years old as well as lie about your age just to get into clubs.
Did I also mention that the writers of this garbage had the nerve to make fun of people with eating disorders? Really, look it up. The two whores on this show were on a popular talk-show show and the psychologist lady said the following, "You guys are so adorable! I could just eat you guys I If you fantards expect anyone to find that funny then you all need to donate your brains to science in order for them to find out if there is a cure for being a bunch of ret@rds.
So as an overall, this is just a crap show from an already crap network from the start! (with the exception of the handful of shows I liked from it) Disney Channel has fallen downhill, drastically! They replaced the cartoons & handful of decent live-action shows with all of this Tween-pop BS, actors who have NO TALENT, & shows that have the same damn basic lesson, DATING!
And any one of you fantards of fangirls of this show can thumb me down or bash me, call me a hater, say I have no life, no talent, can't sing, I'm ugly, etc. because you know everything I said is true!
That's another thing that really pisses me off about this show; not just the show as a whole, but the bumbling idiots of a fanbase it cultivates. The fans give no rat's-ass about the show in general, they only care about the shitty looks. And why do I say that? Because a few days back, I saw some moron fangirl on that horrible "Fashion is my kryptonite" video stating that they don't care that the music sucks, but they care about the dresses. So from that logic, it is clear that the fans of this crap are clear idiots, ignorant beyond words who wouldn't know good television even if you slapped it right on their faces. I give up hope for any person who watches & loves the shit Disney Channel produces, I really do.
Another thing that pisses me off about this show's moronic fanbase is how they all are clearly stupid kids, ON THE INTERNET, & they say "OMG don't say mean things about them how do you think they feel when they read your mean comments?!!1? Would you want people to say mean things about you?!". SHUT. UP. Welcome to the damn internet! Possibly the cruelest place in the world. No one cares about this show's actors' feelings, because no one likes their dreadful show, bad dancing, awful singing, & bad acting. If you're going to cry, wet your panties, & feel offended when people say 'mean things' about your favorite, mediocre actors from a shitty show, then get the hell off the internet, & grow a spine.
You can't say that "I bet you cant dance" because you don't jack-shit about anyone who says that Zendeya & Bella can't dance, because they're right. These two people couldn't dance, act, or sing to save their lives. People say they are shitty dancers, etc. because it's the truth. They have no rhythm, no ballet, no splits, no jumps, & anything else a normal, GOOD dancer would do. Any reject from "Dancing with the Stars" can easily out-dance these two girls. So if you're going to say any stupid crap about anyone, don't cry when they own you & say 'mean things', & don't say crap like "You can't dance" or "you have no talent" because someone bashed your shitty show. No one is jealous of your mediocre dancers from a shitty show, & anyone who knows what good dancing & singing "untalented".
To top this off, something to the 12-year-old girls on this page defending their favorite show with their sad-excuse for reasons, NO ONE CARES THAT YOU THINK WE ARE MEAN TO ROCKY & CECE. People attack these characters, because they suck & deserve it. People are harsh to their dancing because they're terrible dancers, & if Zendaya & Bella read these reviews on how bad their dancing is, then good, maybe they will accept the fact that they are shitty dancers, & will either quit or take some REAL dancing lessons, because they really need some.
And if you are going to say anything like that, please, I have a life, & a hobby, & even taste! I listen to REAL [Disney] music, watch GOOD TV & movies, & even use my time to do other things like drawing, dancing, singing, watching movies, playing video games, & achieving my goals.moreless
