She Spies

Season 1 Episode 13

You Don't Know Jack

Aired Unknown Feb 03, 2003 on
out of 10
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Episode Summary

The Spies are pitted against a deadly assassin - La Puma. But he's closer then they think...

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    Trivia, Notes, Quotes and Allusions


    • TRIVIA (0)

    • QUOTES (22)

      • D.D.: You're just a psychologist.
        Kay: A psychiatrist. And I took karate at the learning annex.

      • Jack as Puma: I believe in gun control. I have a gun, I have control.

      • Jack as Puma: Which one of you is into dominance?
        D.D.: Quiet!
        Jack as Puma: That would be you.

      • D.D.: Unless the sun sets in the east, this photo is a fake.
        Cassie: Maybe it's just a backward part of the country. (everyone stares) I'll just shut up now.

      • Shane: I think we've all had one of those jello-shot and transvestite dancing evenings. (everyone stares) Haven't we...?

      • (seeing Jack naked)
        Cassie: Something's different. Did you get a haircut?
        D.D.: Nice cigar. And that is all that I meant.
        Shane: I'm not going to say anything.

      • Amy: Last night was were just...
        Jack as Puma: Would you like a thesaurus?

      • Jack as Puma: Give me a J.Lo.
        Bartender: What's that?
        Jack as Puma: Whatever you want - just put it in a big-ass glass.

      • D.D.: I guess it's true - it is lonely at the top (Cassie stares) Top of the building. He's not here. Cliché saying. I can't help it!

      • Shane: Time to jimmy the door.
        D.D.: Just once can't we Joey or Freddy the door. What, we can't climb buildings and make light?

      • Jack as Puma: Tonight will be strictly business. Which is confusing, because it will still be my pleasure. (laughs maniacally) Wait. I should put that on my business card.

      • Jack as Puma: When it comes to threesomes, I do my best work at night. Those Blunder Women are already dead. (pause on the phone) No, not actually. I'm gloating! It's what I do - I gloat, then I kill.

      • Jack as Puma: That was last night. This is tonight. When you hire La Puma to do a job, he's on the job until the job gets it done, until he says he's done, or until he gets Maybe I should put that on my business cards.

      • D.D.: We were going to tell you - we just didn't want to ruin your return and all your vacation stories. (Jack glares) Well, any more then we did.

      • Jack: What we're dealing with here is an assassin - one who's nearly invincible and completely ruthless.
        D.D.: Wait a minute. Are you saying he's totally without ruth?
        Shane: Sorry, we have stored up two weeks' worth of making mock.

      • Jack: Oh I so miss that - your irrepressible ability to make mock.
        D.D.: It's just one more service we offer.

      • D.D.: What's a plethora?
        Shane: 'Flora' with a lisp.

      • Shane: Could it be possible? Jack has a tan - isn't that one of the seven signs of the Apocalypse?
        D.D.: Number Six. It's right before Jack ends the program to let us live a life of wild abandon.
        Jack: Apocalypse...not.

      • D.D.: You know, I used to clean my own cell. I was once even named 'Inmate of the Month'. Never got to use the parking space, though.

      • D.D.: So we've gone from imprisoned hardened couch potatoes to freedom-loving couch potatoes?
        Cassie: Yeah, but now we have the choice to be worthless and lazy.

      • Shane: That reminds me of what I miss most about prison
        D.D.: Shaving your legs?
        Shane: Okay, second most.

      • Cassie: (preparing to houseclean) It's 2100 hours. We all know our assignments. With a precise coordinated attack we should be able to complete our attack by 0300 hours. Ready? (sits down) Or we could just relax, watch 'Sex and the City', and hope the cleaning fairies show up tonight.

    • NOTES (1)

    • ALLUSIONS (1)

      • D.D.: Oh no! I just remembered, I forgot to return Star Wars to Blockbuster!
        The girls are caught in a garbage chute and the walls close in on each other, and D.D. makes a reference, paying homage about the famous garbage chute scene from Star Wars where Luke, Leia, Chewbacca and Han Salo are caught in that situation. (Shane's line about "I've got a bad feeling about our immediate future" echoes Han Solo's line as well)