INEPT AMATEUR TRASH-TRULY THE WORSE TV IN HISTORY! A TOTAL WASTE! These amatures should be arrest for destorying a great classic of the 1950s. Watch this junk... you'll have to take a shower.moreless
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Oh, lord is this horrific garbage! There's bad TV and there's worse TV, and then there's Sheena… which without a doubt takes the cake as the worse of the worse. A total waste of time and `effort' (and I use that term loosely). If anyone has ever seen the original Sheena, or read the comic books it's based on, you REALLY find yourself shaking your head in disgust and getting physically ill at the site of this monstrosity! The original Sheena was a delightful beautiful, naturally sexy woman who made all red-blooded adolescent boys discover what it meant to have a `crush'… to feel primal love (and lust) for the first time. The girl-next-door who could climb trees and kill lions… what more could a boy ask for? And for girls… what an amazing role model the original Sheena was! Where else could you find a woman who was so independent… who seemed to run through the jungle effortlessly, control her own destiny, and take care of herself as the original Sheena did? Now this turd breaks wind onto the airways (there should be a law against such toxic pollution). The star of this `remake', a vet of `Baywatch', literally can't walk and talk at the same time. This is a show in which the star must hold everything together. It all hinges on her ability to be believable as the `lost child' who grew up in the jungle and now knows it as well as the animals around her. However, I believe this new Sheena would have trouble dressing herself, let alone being `one with the animals'. Usually something as horrifically amateurish as this garbage would at least have a kitsch bad-TV fun to it. Like Ed Wood movies or badly dubbed, really low-budget Japanese films, you should be able to get the guys together on an afternoon with pizza and cheap beer and laugh at the ineptitude of a `classic' like `Plan 9'. However, as Tim Burton so brilliantly showed in his movie `Ed Wood', what made such low-budget silliness fun to watch was that Ed Wood himself really thought he was doing something good. That's the secret to good `turkey' filmmaking. The `passion' in which the schlock filmmakers put into their work shows through, and you find yourself not only laughing at them, but you also have a sweet kind of soft spot for their inept efforts. The main problem with this stink-pot Sheena, is that you can tell that the writers and producers not only couldn't write their own names on a bathroom wall, or produce lint from their bellybuttons… but that they really don't give a darn about what they are doing in the first place. In this case, there is no passion, even for bad… there is a only a paycheck. (I won't even talk about the directors, since I doubt if this show is really directed… I think a camera is turned on… everyone runs to the local bar, while the `actors' just sort of vomit their lines in a numbed state of confusion). There isn't even a no-talent try (and no-talent is something these people have plenty of) at making something that even they think is good. If you click the links to other shows these people have worked on, it seems, at least to me, that they have spent their careers going from one horrid piece of garbage to another… collecting their money, without even the slightest concern or care about quality. If they weren't `producing' and `writing' crap like this… they'd be doing something else for the money. Perhaps working in a sewage reclamation center. The amazing thing is that there is a studio out there that has given these no-care no-talents actual money to spew out this dung! And even more amazing is that they keep working in the business. Hey, I'm not asking for great art. But for the love of God, to see people actually getting paid to defecate on celluloid and force-feed it to the public, and make a living at it… is mind-boggling! And the saddest thing is that even with a low budget, it doesn't have to be this bad. I'm sure the original classic Sheena of the 1950's had a much lower budget… but look at the difference. It was made by producers and writers who loved the concept, who understood story and character, and who cast someone who was believable. It was made by people who cared. Everything in this new version is incompetent. Laughable camera work, effects, costumes and editing. It all looks as if it was shot in the producer's backyard with an old 8MM camera by his six-year-old nephew. There is virtually no action… no animals… nothing mysterious or adventurous. Truthfully, and without trying to be smug or clever… watching this traffic accident of TV is very much like watching really bad video of your sister-in-law's 5 year old's cousins birthday party. It looks the same, the `acting' is the same, and the ‘story lines' and dialogue are similar. Yes, it really does all look like they make it up as they go along. I was excited when I first heard this was going on the air, being such a fan of the original… and then I realized something was very wrong when the first episode of this stinker premiered at 2AM on a Saturday morning! At least someone was thinking… the network saw what they had, and wanted to bury it as deep as they could! Shame on the studio that hired such unprofessional infelicitous producer-writers, and shame on these `producers' for throwing away such a wonderful classic. The original shows are on video, and the comic books are in several book collections. Go to those. Keep this poison away from your children… and yourself. I truly believe that watching this for more than a few minutes is tantamount to staring at the sun too long. It will blind you… and rot the brain. Perhaps the makers of this swag had the same affliction. We can only hope they never work again.moreless
