Shorties Watchin' Shorties

Season 1 Episode 3

Episode 3

Aired Wednesday 10:30 PM May 12, 2004 on Comedy Central
out of 10
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Episode Summary

Episode 3
Comics include Richard Belzer, Dane Cook, Greg Fitzsimmons, Bobcat Goldthwait, Dana Gould, Dom Irrera, Cory Kahaney, Paul Nardizzi, Johnny Sanchez, Nick Swardson and Steve Sweeney

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    Trivia, Notes, Quotes and Allusions


    • TRIVIA (0)

    • QUOTES (8)

      • Baby Patrice: What we need is a 25-year-old black pope. Can you imagine what he would do for the Vatican basketball team?

      • Steve Sweeney: I grew up a Catholic, which is good, it gives you something to work the rest of your life. I lost the faith but I keep the Saints. Lose some drugs around the house - 'You say there's something lost that can't be found? Please Saint Anthony, look around!'

      • Paul Nardizzi: They bring out the scissors for the dad to cut the umbilical cord. I'm not gonna cut the cord - babies get mixed up or even stolen out of hospitals all the time! This is obviously the best way to prevent it.

      • Baby Patrice: My mom's from another planet, man!
        Baby Nick: What the hell are you talking about?!
        Baby Patrice: Last week when I had a cold, she gave me an anal probe!
        Baby Nick: Well, I don't know if that means she's from outer space. Maybe she just has a strange sense of humor.

      • Dana Gould: If people are really getting abducted by aliens and aliens really are doing anal probes, what's going through their mind? 'We've mastered the infinities of travel through time and space, but the anal cavity alludes us!!'

      • Greg Fitzsimmons: They're not gonna clone everybody - you know our society, only certain people will get cloned, just the tall, skinny, beautiful, model-type people. The entire planet - tall, skinny people. And then the earth will start to cool a little bit, and all the skinny people will start dropping like flies, cause they're weak. You ever seen a skinny guy on a cold day? They tremble like chihuahuas.

      • Bobcat Goldthwait: (on the man eaten by a polar bear at the zoo) They said he had been harassing the polar bear! Is this guy showin' up outside the cage, 'Hello, hello polar bear. I see you polar bear. You think you're so much better than everyone else!'

      • Baby Patrice: Hey man, I think Stephanie has a thing for me - I'm gonna ask her out!
        Baby Nick: Bad idea. Every time you try to talk to her, you drool.

    • NOTES (0)

    • ALLUSIONS (3)

      • When Nick and Patrice imagine themselves fighting Barney the Dinosaur, the animation takes on the look of "The Power Puff Girls," a popular Cartoon Network show about three young girls that gained superpowers after a lab accident and use their abilities to fight the evils that invade their town.

      • During Richard Belzer's jazz song about Jesus, Jesus is shown turning a glass of water into a can of beer, a play on the water-to-wine miracle Jesus performs in the Bible.

      • Polar Bears Gone Wild

        During Bobcat Goldthwait's joke about the man eaten by a polar bear, he mentions everyone would buy the tape of it, and the polar bears are seen selling a video called "Polar Bears Gone Wild," a reference to the popular videos "Girls Gone Wild" produced by Joe Francis showing young women taking their tops off for the camera.