Sister, Sister Season 2 Episode 18

Lisa: Just stand behind me.
Ray: Well what if they have a gun?
Lisa: Just stand in front of me.

Officer: Put your hands up!
Lisa: Okay but I haven't shaved in three weeks.

Ray: I don't believe this, they stole the coffee machine too... they even got the muffins.
Lisa: Sorry, Ray, that was an inside job.

Lisa: I know how you girls feel, one time I ran into this lady, she looked exactly like me, wore the same clothes as me, had the same hair as me, talked the same as me.
Tia: What'd you do?
Lisa: I realized I was drunk staring into the ladies' room mirror.

Lisa: After that robbery, I just want to make sure if anything happens I'm here to protect you.
Tia: With a turkey leg?
Lisa: Yep, it's a weapon and a snack.

Betty: (coming down the stairs) Floyd you idiot, you forgot the laser disc player! (sees Lisa and Ray) Back so soon!
Lisa: Oh this is rich, we' being robbed by the Keebler elves.

Floyd: They even stole our clapper.
Betty: Now when we do this (claps twice), we just get on each others nerves.

(at the end of a neighborhood watch meeting)
Ray: So long, neighbor.
Lady: Oh I don't live around here, I just came for the cookies.
Lisa: Been there.

(describing the robbery)
Lisa: They stole their washing machine during mid-cycle...got all they' underwear.
Ray: Lisa, please.
Lisa: Ray it's winter, think of the chafing.

Tamera: Why are you acting so crazy!
Denise: You guys think I'm crazy?
Tia: Why are our pictures all over your wall !
Denise: You guys have pictures of your friends in your locker.

Lisa: I told you if that girl wants to be a sister she should change her name to LaTanya.

Denise: I'm going by my middle name now, Tanya, isn't that cool? Tia, Tamera, and Tanya.

Denise: Do you guys like my hair?
Tia: We love it!
Tamera: We have it.