Tia: Mom, I don't really know how to say this...
Lisa: Oh honey, you can tell me anything. you know that.
Tia: Starving polar bears wouldn't eat your salmon!
Tamera: And she likes it more than I do!
(Ray knocks the lights out)
Lisa: Girls, are you okay? Say something!
Tia: How could you spy on us?
Lisa: Say something else!
(Lisa and Ray are in the girls' closet)
Lisa: Ray, I think we're in a bind.
Ray: A bind? This is the most embarrassing thing I've ever done!
Lisa: Ray, I think you sell yourself short.
Lisa:(to the girls) As long as you live under my roof, you will follow my rules!
Ray: Actually, it's my roof.
Lisa: As long as you live under Ray's roof, you will follow my rules!
Angel Lisa: Remember when your mother spied on you?
Lisa: That was bad.
Devil Lisa: Remember what you were doing that she spied on you?
Lisa: (laughing) Yeah that was good, (panicking) I mean bad!
Tia: Did you know that smoking causes lung cancer, emphyzema, heart disease and wrinkles?
Lisa: When Tia was little she always came running up to me with all sorts of stuff stuck up her nose, buttons, peas, Barbie doll shoes.
Ray: She was a very busy girl.
Lisa: One time she got an apple seed stuck up her nose and she was crying because she thought an apple tree would grow out of her head. Oh Ray what I wouldn't give if she'd come running in now with something up her nose.
Lisa: Girls I have you laundry, I would slide it under the door but I wouldn't want splinters in your panties.
(The twins new phone line rings)
Tamera: Hey its our first phone call.
Tia: Lets put it on speakerphone.
Tia: Hello ?
Lisa: Hi Girls so whats new ?
Tia & Tamera Awwwwhhh
Ray: These little men are like little sharks that see you as fresh bait, they swarm around young inocent girls like you, like a lion stalking its prey, like Lisa circling baked goods.
(Lisa listening to the girls messages on their new answering machine.)
Sarah: Hey you guys I got the cigarettes?
Lisa: Huhh !
Lisa: Huhhhhhh !!
(replays message again)
Lisa: Huhhhhhhhhh !
(replays message again)
When aired on Disney Channel, they edited out the scene of the girls smoking in the bathroom at school and the teacher walking in. Disney also edited the scene when the girls were first in the car smoking and when Lisa looked at the girls and imagined them in trampy leather outfits smoking.
Episode title: Smoking in the Girls' Room
This is a play on the title of the song Smokin' in the Boys' Room originally recorded by the band Brownsville Station and later remade by Motley Crue.