Sit Down, Shut Up

Knob Haven High Teacher Bios:

Name: Ennis Hofftard
Subject: English Teacher
Catchphrase: "Catchphrases are for losers." (small print) TM MMIX Ennis Hofftard

Name: Muhannad Seabeeh "Happy" Fa-ach Nuabar
Subject: Custodian
Catchphrase: "I'm fond of America."

Name: Andrew LeGustambos
Subject: Drama
Catchphrase: "Speak up."

Name: Helen Klench
Subject: Librarian
Catchphrase: "Quiet down!"

Name: Willard Deutschebog
Subject: German
Catchphrase: "If I believed in reincarnation, I'd kill myself tonight."

Name: Miracle Grohe
Subject: Science
Catchphrase: "Babies are gifts from God. Drummers are creeps."

Name: Larry Littlejunk
Subject: P.E.
Catchphrase: "Why can't someone else teach P.E.?"

Name: Sue Sezno
Subject: Acting Principal
Catchphrase: "No."

Name: Stuart Prozakian
Subject: Ass. Principal
Prior Job: Prison Clown
Catchphrase: "I need a catchphrase."

Bumper stickers spotted on Miracle's car:
--The Lord is my co-pilot.
--If you can read this bumper sticker, I hope you have accepted Jesus into your life.
--God Will Protect Me. Warning: God works in mysterious ways.

And

Posters spotted at school:
--Don't tempt a teacher! It could cost them their job!
--It won't be a great time when you wind up on Dateline!
--I might seem worldy, but I'm really quite poor!
--In case of choking:
1. Relocate victim off of school property.
2. Call taxi for victim.
3. Return to school and resume normal duties.
--McCain/Palin Election bumper sticker.