Sledge Hammer!

Season 1 Episode 10

If I Had a Little Hammer

Aired Friday 9:30 PM Nov 29, 1986 on ABC



  • Trivia

  • Quotes

    • Hammer: This is a precinct, not an encounter group. If a man and a woman have problems, they should settle them the way my wife and I did, with a divorce.

    • Doreau: Captain, who could be behind such a despicable crime?
      Trunk: Obviously a baby-selling ring, Doreau. Kind of back-alley racketeers who steal babies and sells them to childless couples for exorbitant sums.
      Hammer: Kind of a mom-and-pop operation, huh?

    • Doreau: What was your baby's name?
      Mrs. Yates: Well, we were just about to find a name and then... he was stolen.
      Hammer: How about "Rob"? I'm sorry, I don't know where my head's at.

    • Hammer: Wait, one last question. Did your child have any enemies?
      Doreau: Hammer! It's a newborn baby. Newborn babies don't have enemies.
      Hammer: I did.

    • Hammer: Doreau, what are you doing? Cops can't go around making promises they can't keep. That right is reserved for the President.

    • Hammer: And I strongly urge you parents to discipline this child starting today. Constant spankings are the reason I turned out all right.

    • Hammer: What are you doing? Sleeping on the job is for air traffic controllers, not cops.

    • Receptionist: Excuse me, Mr. and Mrs. Hammer. I couldn't help overhearing your conversation with Mrs. Calder.
      Hammer: Why is that?
      Receptionist: I was listening in.

    • Hammer: (to Doreau) I can't believe I'm letting a common slimeball into my apartment. Bad enough that you're here.

    • Hammer: Nurse Robbins. I knew you were behind this.
      Robbins: When did you figure it out?
      Hammer: When you walked in just now.

    • Trunk: Hammer, have you no compassion for what those people are going through?
      Hammer: Of course I do. I have suffered a sense of loss just like everyone else. I lost my luggage once. I was torn up about it for weeks.

    • Doreau: Captain, I request that Hammer and I be assigned this case.
      Hammer: No wait, no whoa, no huh, no way, I don't do this. I'm in Homicide, I deal in scum-suckers, not thumb-suckers.

    • Trunk: Hammer, I have great trepidation about putting you on this case. The thought of you coming within five miles of a baby scare the hell out of me.
      Hammer: Me too.

    • Doreau: I always assumed you were the one who thought women should be barefoot and pregnant.
      Hammer: Are you kidding? I encourage women to wear shoes.

  • Notes

  • Allusions