Abbie: For starters, when I call, I need you to pick up.
Ichabod: I believe I'd have an easier time navigating my device if it were not such an... how shall I say this? antiquated piece of rubbish.
Abbie: What's wrong with your phone?
Ichabod: Well, it's obsolete. And I'm not blaming you, Leftenant. It's these telecommunication companies, overwhelming the populace with their ostentatious advertisements. They're coercing the consumer into purchasing countless "system updates." It's an abuse of capitalism and certainly not the vision behind our laissez-faire market.
Abbie: Hmm. and yet... you want a new one?
Ichabod: You've got one.