Sliders Season 1 Episode 8

Rembrandt: So, are you going to be looking at that sports page?
Arturo: And read about women basketball players? I'd sooner watch paint dry.

Arturo: That is not cheese. Brie is cheese. Camembert is cheese ... this is yellow plastic!

Arturo: I have decided to pull a Muskie.
Rembrandt: You're going fishing?

Arturo: That moment when I changed that disgusting little brat's diaper... classic.

Arturo: (to Rembrandt) Well, I guess I learned to cry over nothing just by watching you.

Rembrandt: I'm getting awfully tired of landing on my butt. Can't you do something about that?
Quinn: You know I can't. I think you ask just to annoy me a little.
Rembrandt: Actually, I ask to annoy you a lot. Little by little, I'm getting even with you, Q-Ball.

Rembrandt: Tell me the truth. Did you vote for him? (Quinn shakes head) Me either. (Wade, Quinn, and Rembrandt laugh)

Rembrandt: Look, I'm a musician, she's a record promoter, okay? It's not like we're getting engaged or anything.
Ed: Oh, now she's a record promoter.
Rembrandt: She's not a record promoter?
(Ed sadly sits on couch)
Rembrandt: Are you all right?
Ed: (sobs) I'm sorry. My therapist says I'm still working through my relationship with Mom. I'm trying to recreate my sense of isolation as a child, so I get myself addicted to these abusive ... degrading ... relationships. Look, I don't mean to dump all this on you.
Rembrandt: Hey, it's okay.
Ed: (hugs Rembrandt) Don't you let her break your heart, "boyfriend", 'cause she'll steal your soul and never give it back.

Arturo: Allow me, madam. It would be my pleasure to press your button.
Anita Ross: Five.
Arturo: Oh, you're going to the fifth floor, too. (presses elevator button) There you are. Chivalry is not dead.
Anita Ross: How lucky for us.
Arturo: Oh, a woman with a dry sense of humor, how delightful.
Anita Ross: A man who presses buttons, how interesting.
Arturo: Well, there's far more to me than a sense of gallantry, madam, as you yourself could find out over a fine, candlelit dinner.
Anita Ross: Now, that's very tempting, but you know, I don't like large men, or men with beards, or phony English accents. Other than that, you might have had a chance. (steps out of elevator)
Woman: Good morning, Ms. Ross.
Anita Ross: Good morning.
Quinn: (sees campaign ad for Anita Ross) Congratulations, Professor, you just hit on the mayor.
Arturo: Ouch.

Rembrandt: I got 31 cents.
Wade: I've got a $5 bill, but I am not wasting it on a lousy pretzel.
Arturo: What do you mean, "wasting it"? I haven't eaten since yesterday.
Rembrandt: Well, none of us have. And why should you get to have a pretzel? I'd like a pretzel just as much as you.
Arturo: Oh, this is ridiculous. We'll divide it two ways.
Quinn: Three ways.
Wade: Four ways.

Quinn: Sure, I understand. Thanks anyway (hangs up phone).
Arturo: Any luck?
Quinn: No dice. The only jobs I'm qualified for are a nanny situation out in Napa and a nude photographer's model.

Vendor: Would you folks mind holding it down? You know the President's about to speak?
Wade: You mean, President Clinton?
Vendor: Of course I mean Clinton. Who else?
Rembrandt: That clinches it, we're home.
Vendor: You know, I feel sorry for the Prez, being married to that loudmouth. It's no wonder the Republicans are taking control.
TV: Ladies and gentleman, the President of the United States.
President Hillary Clinton: My fellow Americans, I speak to you tonight from the White House.