Slings and Arrows

Season 1 Episode 4

Outrageous Fortune

Aired Unknown Nov 24, 2003 on The Movie Network
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Outrageous Fortune
In jail after his escapade at Ellen's party, Geoffrey is visited by the ghost of his dead mentor Oliver, who counsels him on the danger of trying to ignore his past feelings for Ellen, the woman who once broke his heart. Meanwhile, Holly and Richard work on their merchandising scheme, which involves a Shakespeare themed village of retail stores. Geoffrey is finally forced to fire Darren as director, to the relief of the cast but the worry of the Board of Directors.moreless

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    • QUOTES (13)

      • Darren Nichols : I'm used to being hated, that's my thing, but I can't function as a director unless that hatred is kept in check by a thin, calculated veneer of invulnerability.

      • (Geoffrey addressing the staff.)
        Geoffrey Tennant: There are some of you who will be terrified to learn that I'm going to take over direction of this play. There are others who will be thrilled because they know that in my production there will be little danger of you stepping in a pile of horse shit. But I think that there is one thing that both, the pro-Geoffrey and the anti-Geoffrey, camps can agree upon and that is, that my reason may very well be hanging by a thread. Well, my friends, it is my belief that the best of happens just before the thread snaps.

      • May Silverstone: Be prepared for a rough ride.
        Geoffrey Tennant: A rough ride? May, we've lost two weeks of rehearsal, the new director is a certified madman and the Hamlet is an action figure, it's going to be a goddamn death march!

      • (Geoffrey is notifying the staff that he is going to take over directing Hamlet.)
        Geoffrey Tennant: Greetings, actors, I have news from my planet.

      • Geoffrey Tennant: I'm a turd, I know that but I have finally done something, something positive.
        Richard Smith-Jones: What, you are going to see a therapist?
        Geoffrey Tennant: No, I've fired Darren Nichols.
        May Silverstone: Oh god, no.
        Richard Smith-Jones: Jesus Christ, you can't do that, you don't have the authority.
        Geoffrey Tennant: Really? I just did it. He's on his way back to the Weimar. Forget about him.
        Richard Smith-Jones: What about our Hamlet?
        Geoffrey Tennant: I'll direct it.
        May Silverstone: You?
        Geoffrey Tennant: That's what you wanted in the first place, wasn't it?
        May Silverstone: That was before you went on a drunken stabbing spree.
        Geoffrey Tennant: C'mon, I barely broke his lily white skin.

      • Geoffrey Tennant: You know, Darren, your problem is you hate the theater.
        Darren Nichols: I don't hate it, I pity it. Sad little medium struggling to be heard. More people listen to the radio than go to the theater and nobody listens to the radio.

      • Geoffrey Tennant: Darren, it's okay, I've come to do you a favour.
        Darren Nichols: A favour?
        Geoffrey Tennant: You're fired.
        Darren Nichols: Thank you.
        Geoffrey Tennant: You're welcome.
        Darren Nichols: I am sick of this place. I am sick of being stabbed.
        Geoffrey Tennant: I know, I know. So, what's next for Mr. Nichols?
        Darren Nichols: I don't know. I might go to Berlin. They understand me there. Artists are embraced as heroes in Germany.
        Geoffrey Tennant: Yeah, I understand that Hitler was a fine painter.
        Darren Nichols: All the Tennant wit, it's nice to see it wasn't completely vaporized byt the electro shock. So, you're closing down the Hamlet?
        Geoffrey Tennant: No, I'm gonna take it over.
        Darren Nichols: Good, I hope it kills you this time.
        Geoffrey Tennant: It might ... and what the hell.
        Darren Nichols: Always a hero, Geoffrey, the defender of integrity, it's pathetic.

      • Geoffrey Tennant: So, you, you, you you don't see him?
        Ellen Fanshaw: Oliver? No, Geoffrey.
        Geoffrey Tennant: I just thought, maybe because we both loved him once, that ... I don't know how these things work. I'm sorry. For everything.
        Ellen Fanshaw: All right. I thought I saw him once. It was the top of the second act of the "Dream". I was on stage and i caught sight of someone in the wings. He was staring at me and I thought "that's Oliver". Chill ran down my spine.
        Geoffrey Tennant: Yeah, of course.
        Ellen Fanshaw: No, it was the look on this face. It was so ... sad and frightened, full of dread. Put me off for the for the rest of the show.
        Geoffrey Tennant: Oh, I'm sure his expression wasn't a comment on your performance. I'm sure it had something to do with being dead.

      • Geoffrey Tennant: (referring to Ellen's very young boyfriend Sloan) I like him, he's gonna make a fine man one of these days.

      • Sloan: Okay, so why'd you kick another guy's ass for disparaging a girl you're not even with any more?
        Geoffrey Tennant: Do you love Ellen?
        Sloan: Fuckin' right!
        Geoffrey Tennant: Well, if you feel the same way now as I did seven years ago, then you're gonna spend the rest of your life kicking other people's asses for her whether you're with her or not. That's just how truly horrible life can be.

      • Richard Smith-Jones: Darren, everyone cries when they are stabbed. There's no shame in that.

      • Geoffrey Tennant: Are you dead or am I insane?
        Oliver Wells: I don't see why those two thoughts are mutually exclusive.
        Geoffrey Tennant: Well, if I'm insane I'm talking to myself, aren't I?
        Oliver Wells: And I am a figment of your deranged mind.
        Geoffrey Tennant: Ey.
        Oliver Wells: I'd rather be dead, thank you very much.
        Geoffrey Tennant: And I don't want to be insane. I refuse to be insane!
        Oliver Wells: That's the spirit!
        Geoffrey Tennant: So, I'm going to assume that you are a ghost, Oliver.
        Oliver Wells: That's the only sane thing to do, given the circumstances.

      • (Frank is released from police custody after the riot at Ellen's place.)
        Policeman: Well, that's the last of them.
        Anna Conroy: Except for one, Geoffrey Tennant.
        Policeman: Him? We're gonna have to keep him for observation.
        Anna Conroy: Why?
        Policeman: Because he was found drunk, in tights, trying to stab people with a sword?
        Anna Conroy: Oh, that's just Geoffrey being Geoffrey.

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