The Godfather tells Mary that his name is Jo Jo Smith.
Jessica: (Contemplating about their families many misfortunes) We are cursed!
Narrator: (Opening Narration) In Last week's episode of Soap, Jodie checked into the hospital to become a girl, and wound up meeting a girl who would like him to stay a guy. Danny has been running around in disguises, running from the Mob. So far Danny has not been caught, but Chester has been. Jessica met Mary for lunch and saw him kissing Claire. Confused? You wont be after this week's episode of Soap. We begin this weeks episode of Soap shortly after Jessica and Mary saw Chester and Claire.
Narrator: (Closing Narration) Are the Tates and the Campbells cursed? Are they just having a run of bad luck? Is Danny's Rabbi disguise good enough to fool the Mob? Is it good enough for him to perform Passover services? Will Father Tim get a sign from God? A phone call? A mail gram? Something? Will Jodie live? These questions and many others will be answered on next week's episode of Soap.
Tim: (to God) Are you going to send Corrine in once a week for the rest of my life?
Jodie: (after Dennis announces he's marrying a woman) That's one wedding night they could show on Saturday-morning television.
Mary: (about their eccentric brother, Randolph) Any man who would go to Ecuador to sell wall-to-wall carpet is not all there.
Jessica: I think that there is a curse on this family.
Benson: Well, if there isn't, there should be.
Barney: (to a suicidal Jodie) Someday, you're gonna hear somebody laughing. And you'll turn around, and it'll be you.