Here are some life lessons from SOAP according to sgtpepper.
1. The first part of life I learned from Soap was sex. If a man murders his wife's first husband, he goes on a six month hiatus without making any love with her and the eventually gets committed and there in the asylum he announces that he killed her husband and she eventually forgives him because she loves him and then he becomes a jerk.
2. Just because you were in a war, you could get away with saying the most outragious things and nobody would bat an eye (unless Eunice or El Puerco is around...).
3. You could always flee to Rio to jump bail.
4. If you and your mom sleep with the same man, you and every other female in Dunn's River will get him because your mom's too old fashioned.
5. You get a nice glow after having sex.
6. Eventually you call a dummy a memember of the family.
7. You will think that you are a normal person of the family until you follow your first high school love to the Sunnies, sleep with your teacher, and then become a general for a third-world nation while that nation and your ex try to kill you.
8. Sometimes, there feels like an announcer in your life who states what did and might happen next (could it be the voice of God?)
9. You and sister share a man (just like you did with mom, but you eventually forgive your mom)
10. You find out your half-swedish when you turn twenty three.
11. You are confused about your sexuality. While trying to figure it out, you sleep with two members of the opposite sex and might have had one gay relationship the whole time.
12. Aliens do exist (and they are horny as hell!)
13. Babies can fly (or you're just crazy!)
14. Fame does corrupt one person.
15. Love does not last forever.
16. You find out your uncle is your father (your mother and aunt shared a man...gross!)
17. Daddy is a murderer! He killed your lover because he was insane temporary!
18. That Swedish is the reason for all the bad things that happen in your family.
19. Cheating on your lovers is a hobby for husbands and boyfriends.
20. Never marry an ex-priest. His mother is crazy and places curses on the two of you, you somehow end up five months pregnant and the baby is born a month later (very healthy might I add), he is possessed, your mom has to perform an exorcism on him with your hubby , and then after the maddness is over, hubby leaves you and becomes a hermit.
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