Book Publisher: I'm sorry to tell you this, sir, but nobody is ever going to publish your memoirs.
Towelie: Huh? Why not?
Book Publisher: Well, just the small trivial fact that people aren't interested in autobiographies of TOWELS.
Towelie: Well, yeah, but maybe people will read my memoirs, and like…apply its lessons to their own lives.
Book Publisher: No, they won't. Because they're people. And you're a towel.
Towelie: (mumbling) You're a towel…
Book Publisher: No, I'm a big book publisher whose not the least bit interested in your stony memoirs. You're a towel.