South Park

Season 3 Episode 16

Are You There God, It's Me Jesus

Aired Wednesday 10:00 PM Dec 29, 1999 on Comedy Central
out of 10
User Rating
267 votes

By Users

Episode Summary

On the eve of the millennium, Cartman announces that he has gotten his period, and therefore has entered puberty. Actually, it was rectal bleeding resulting from a colon infection. Kenny gets his "period" too, and they plan a New Year's celebration alone. Feeling left out, Kyle lies about getting his period, and joins their "goddess" club. Stan decided to go to Dr. Mephesto for hormones, in order to speed up his development. Meanwhile, the world is focused on South Park, since Jesus resides there. To appease people's expectations of the millennium, Jesus puts on a concert in Las Vegas with Rod Stewart.moreless

Who was the Episode MVP ?

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  • Are you there God? It's me Jesus

    This episode is just too boring and it doesn't hold any of your attention even when it is taking the piss out of people that believe in the guy called Jesus (Christians, is it?). The people of South Park are annoyed because Jesus - who is not actually Jesus, he is just a guy from down the road - will not tell them what is going to happen at teh new millenium (2000).

    This episode in the third season of South Park is probably one of the most boring piss-take un-laughable episodes. Dissapointing and out of this world.

    >:( A boring episode.moreless
  • Not my cup of tea.

    It might just be because it was after the best episode in the whole series, but it didn't wuite live up to my expectations. The boys getting their period was funny at first, ,but it got very old after Kenny died. Stan taking hormones was just weird and the whole episode just seemed a bit off. Jesus learnt a valuable lesson and we were all introduced to God, who looks a bit like a Yowie of some sort. Rod Stewart was pretty funny in this episode, he just keeps on pooping his pant. Coming to a close of reviewing Season 3, looks like this is the best one yet!moreless
  • A South Park New Years special!

    They boys and everyone else is getting ready for New Years in South Park, where Jesus is asked what he has planned at this big New Milennium. He makes some calls, and gets Rod Stewart to perform at New Orleans! The people are very pleased with this. Meanwhile, Cartman claims that he is now reached manhood as he has just gotten his first periodm then later Kenny see blood come out of his ass too! Kyle worries that he won't get his period, so he lies about it. Stan is the only one, who tries desperately to get his period. Then God tells him that he is a man and they do not get periods.moreless
  • haha hillariouse!!! frickin kenny dies of blatter ecploding because he shoved tampons up his ass haha that the funiest thing ever!!

    Haha this was defintly a really good one i loved the way kenny died haha i knew it was going to happen. And hoe they have a clubhouse of nly people with periods haha its so frickin funny they did a good job on trying to make this episode funny. also God comes down and grants one answer to any question in the world and cartmen asks when he\'ll get his period hahahahahahah what guymoreless
  • I have nothing but neverending praise for any use of one of my favorite South Park characters: Dr. Mephisto. This is a great character, even from his very first appearance.

    I have nothing but neverending praise for any use of one of my favorite South Park characters: Dr. Mephisto. This is a great character, even from his very first appearance. Later in the series, it is revealed that Mephisto is a Marlon Brando look alike. Even better.

    As for the episode itself, it is very good. Jesus storylines are always great because of the way that Trey and Matt play with his nature. In South Park, Jesus is the REAL Jesus. I find this concept incredibly hilarious, and was sad to see Jesus get killed in "Red Sleigh Down."

    One of my favorite lines in South Park comes from God in this episode:

    "Yea, like John Travolta before you, you are making a comeback."

Trey Parker

Trey Parker

Voice of Stan Marsh; Eric Theodore Cartman; Herbert Garrison; Officer Barbrady; Terrance; Timmy; Ned Gerblanski; Satan; Randy Ma

Matt Stone

Matt Stone

Voice of Kyle Broflovski; Kenny McKormick; Gerald Broflovski; Pip Pirrup; Jesus; Jimbo Kearn; Phillip; Saddam; Various Others

Mary Kay Bergman

Mary Kay Bergman

Voice of Wendy Testaburger; Liane Cartman; Sheila Broflovski; Sharon Marsh; Mrs. McKormick; Mayor McDaniels; Ms. Crabtree; Princ

Isaac Hayes

Isaac Hayes

Voice of Jerome "Chef" McElroy

Trivia, Notes, Quotes and Allusions


  • TRIVIA (7)

    • Kenny's cause of death - a tampon plugged him up for several days until he just burst inside

    • Mr. Garrison says "It's the year 2000" but that's four days away and the news anchor said that it was four days until the new millennium of 1999 but 1999 isn't the start of a new millennium.

    • When talking to the other boys in the clubhouse, Stan says "Screw you guys, I'm gonna go take some more hormones." Stan had already taken every hormone pill given to him by Mephisto.

    • There is a picture of Jesus and Santa holding microphones behind Jesus when he writes his "Are you there God?" letter. This is from the episode "Mr. Hankey's Christmas Classics" where they sing a duet.

    • This is the show's only New Year's themed episode.

    • The clubhouse that Cartman builds in the episode "Clubhouses" is used in this episode when Kenny, Cartman, and Kyle discuss their periods.

    • When the news guy is talking about the stomach virus, he mentions that it can be treated with antibiotics. Antibiotics are not effective against viral infections because antibiotics are used only to counter bacteria.

  • QUOTES (5)

    • Rod Stewart: Poop pants.
      Jesus: What?
      Rod Stewart: Poop pants.
      Jesus: You pooped your pants? Nurse, Mr. Stewart has apparently pooped his pants.
      Nurse: Again? Now, Mr. Stewart, what did we say about trying to hold in Mr. Dookie?

    • Stan: I have it! I have the question. Now you have to answer me once and for all! How come I haven't gotten my period yet?!
      (everyone is speechless)
      God: My child, you are a boy. Boys do not get periods. That is only for girls. You're friends were bleeding a little bit out of their asses due to an acute colon infection, and you're friend Kyle simply lied about it.
      Kyle: Hey, how'd he know that?!
      God: You will hit puberty when the time is right, but you will never have a period because you are a man with titties.

    • Craig Nezzo: (reporter) Well, Tom, I'm here live in Las Vegas at what is quickly becoming known as 'the gayest party ever.'

    • Doctor: My worry is that he could've been following some kind of crazy new fad. Perhaps the children are all shoving tampons up their ass because they've seen the Backstreet Boys doing it on TV or something.

    • Jesus: Father, everyone is starting to pay attention to me again because of the new millennium. I-I'm kinda making a comeback!
      God: Yea, like John Travolta before you, you are experiencing a second revival.

  • NOTES (6)

    • Due to the quick production of this episode, several clips from previous episodes are recycled in this episode including:

      .Jesus photo of himself and Santa singing their Christmas concert together.

      . The X-ray image from the opening number of the previous episode, "Mr. Hankey's Christmas Classics"

      .The brief TV footage of Jakov

    • 1st appearance of God in the series.

    • When the news anchor is talking about everyone around the world celebrating new year 1999, when it shows France, your can see Jakov. He was sent to France at the end of episode 35, Jakovasaurs.

    • This is the first episode to introduce Eliza Schneider as the replacement for the late Mary Kay Bergman/Shannen Cassidy.

    • This is available on the video/DVD release "South Park Winter Wonderland"

    • The New Year's Eve rebroadcast of this episode was followed by a fifteen second countdown to midnight.


    • BASEketball:

      The boys read Women Who Run With the Wolves. This book also makes a small appearance in BASEketball, a film that both Trey Parker and Matt Stone starred in.

    • Groundhog Day:

      When the citizens of South Park are waiting to see if Jesus will come out of his house and whether or not he will be scared of his shadow, is a parody of the traditional U.S. festival: Groundhog Day.

    • Egyptian Myth:

      There is an ancient Egyptian god "Ammut, the Devourer" which has a very similar physical appearance like the God has in this episode.

    • Title: Are You There God? It's Me, Margaret:

      The title of the episode is a reference to the book, "Are You There God? It's Me, Margaret" written by Judy Blume in 1970.