South Park

Season 7 Episode 1


Aired Wednesday 10:00 PM Mar 19, 2003 on Comedy Central

Episode Recap

With some minor changes the boys are at the bus stop seemingly reliving events that they went through 6 seasons earlier; that is Kyle "kicking the baby" his little brother Ike and Cartman talking about his strange dream, which the other boys identify as visitors. When Chef shows up at the same time he did in the past and they ask him the same questions they did before, they decide that they are in a repeat. They remember it all starting when Cartman had an anal probe. Chef takes the boys to see a proctologist. The doctor seems to find everything is normal with Cartman's ass, until he activates the button that causes the "alien hoobajoop" to pop out. When the probe retracts, Chef decides they need to take Cartman for some real help. So he takes the boys to see his friend at the space center. Chef explains the situation to his friend Jeff. To get the probe reactivated, Cartman demands that Kyle be the only one to stick his finger in Cartman's ass. Every time that Kyle gets close to touching his ass, Cartman farts. The fart jokes go on for a while until Kyle gets pissed off and "charges" his finger right into Cartman's ass. The probe comes out and starts transmitting a signal into space. Jeff deciphers the message that is being sent and they discover it contains images from Earth. When the transmission is complete, the probe retracts into Cartman's ass. Jeff theorizes that he could reverse the polarity of the signal, so they could find out what the aliens are sending back. It only serves to draw the aliens to the space center. Chef and the boys escape, but the aliens are in high speed pursuit. In a Dukes of Hazzard style car chase, Chef and the boys escape the aliens; but while Chef is outside the car gloating about his success, the aliens beam up the car and the boys.

The boys awaken to find themselves on board an alien spacecraft orbiting Earth. The head alien guy appears to them in the form of Randy Marsh. When the alien realizes they don't like that form, he starts trying out a number of different forms, hoping they will find one that is acceptable. Chef goes back to the space center to find out if Jeff has figured out what the aliens are up to. Jeff eventually figures out that alien transmission contains binary code. The head alien still hasn't found a form the boys would find acceptable, so he asks them what they want. Cartman suggest that he take the form of a taco "that craps ice cream." The taco tells them that the only reason they wanted to get to them was so they could fix the uplink relay in Cartman's ass. He is just on 50,000 people in the world with a satellite dish in his rectum. The boys ask why. Are they planning an invasion? The taco tells the boys that they are part of a universe-wide television show. He tells them about their long success with reality television shows. There most successful one is about the Earth. The boys are outraged. Chef and Jeff hold a press conference, where they reveal the content of the message. It's a commercial for the television show Earth. The Earthling's are delighted at the news that they are on TV and they run out of the room in excitement. The aliens fix Cartman's anal probe and is set to return the boys to Earth, when the taco takes a phone call where he finds out that the show has been cancelled. The reason, the Earthlings have found out they are on a TV show, the network feels the ratings will drop as a result. The boys plead with the taco to let them talk to the network executives. The taco tells them that no one has ever successfully gotten the network to un-cancel a show once the phone call has been made.

The intergalactic wrecking crews come in to strike the Earth set. Jeff realizes that they aliens are planning to cancel Earth. Meanwhile the boys get their meeting with the network executives, but first the executives take them lunch. They are told they should be happy that their show lasted 100 episodes. The aliens take the boys to their equivalent of a strip club and then later to a hotel with a prostitute. Jeff theorizes that they could create a computer virus that they could use to disable the alien wrecking crew's ship. Chef tells him that's a stupid idea. At the hotel room with the hooker, Kenny pulls out his Polaroid and takes a compromising picture of the network executives. The boys use the information of what they've seen and Kenny's photographic proof to coerce the network executives to keep the Earth show on the air. The boys promise the aliens that they will deliver them higher ratings than ever, with lots of wars and violence. The boys have returned to the bus stop with their memories erased and the only clue they have that something unusual might have happened to them is the picture Kenny has of two green things sucking each other's shoulders. Chef thinks the picture might be important and they should hold onto it.