South Park

Season 1 Episode 1

Cartman Gets an Anal Probe

Aired Wednesday 10:00 PM Aug 13, 1997 on Comedy Central
out of 10
User Rating
572 votes

By Users

Episode Summary

While waiting for the bus, Cartman relates a "dream" he had about being abducted and anally probed by aliens. Kyle's baby brother, Ike, drops by and Kyle plays "kick the baby" until the bus arrives. Then, Kyle and Stan witness aliens abducting Ike while they ride away on the bus. At school, Cartman starts farting flames, but continually denies any actual abduction. Even when an 80-foot satellite dish emerges from his anus, he does not believe. The aliens find the kids by using the satellite dish, Ike escapes the mothership, and Cartman is taken away, only to be ejected later.moreless

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  • First episode for South Park

    While waiting for the bus, Cartman relates a "dream" he had about being abducted and anally probed by aliens. Kyle's baby brother, Ike, drops by and Kyle plays "kick the baby" until the bus arrives. Then, Kyle and Stan witness aliens abducting Ike while they ride away on the bus. At school, Cartman starts farting flames, but continually denies any actual abduction. Even when an 80-foot satellite dish emerges from his anus, he does not believe. The aliens find the kids by using the satellite dish, Ike escapes the mothership, and Cartman is taken away, only to be ejected later. This was a good start for the show called South Park. I liked/laughed at Ike's appearance, dildo part, Cartman having a nightmare, Kyle kicking Ike, the Mr. Hair puppet, the cows running away, Stan staring at Wendy, Cartman singing unexpected, Kenny getting killed, the thing looking like Cartman (he said that it looks like Tom Sizelour), a 80 foot satellite dish sticking on Cartman's ***, Kyle cussing at the aliens, and the ending. My score is lower because it is not my favorite episode, the animation is weird, and a there's a few parts that were dragged. Overall, this was a decent start. for South Park. 7.5/10moreless
  • Cartman Gets an Anal Probe

    While the show focuses on boys in grade school, there will hopefully be more thoughtful jokes to complement the juvenile ones as the series continues. However, it is nice to see an animated show that makes a group of friends the set of main characters, rather than a family - in the tradition of "The Simpsons" and "Family Guy." As pilots go, this one shows definite promise.

    The Good:

    -Kyle and Ms. Crabtree literally scream at one another.

    -Stan throws up whenever he talks to Wendy. They eventually bond over the interesting things they find in Stan's vomit.

    -The joke involving Cartman's Mom, Kitty, and a dildo is shockingly funny, requiring just an extra ounce of thought to get the punchline.

    The Bad:

    -The jokes are almost exclusively under the realm of "bathroom humor." Some is funny, but it is clear that the writers are capable of weaving this kind of humor with more thought-provoking jokes.

    -There is a shadow created by the style of animation used. In other words, each character has an obvious shadow behind them, so it almost seems like there are two of every person. The effect is jarring.moreless
  • Visitors from outer space and anal probes... what more can you want?

    I remember seeing a random South Park episode in the past, but now that I'm about to watch it again... It's less hard to keep up with than I thought.

    Anyway, this episode was really funny. I like aliens, and Cartman's denial about the whole night episode was hilarious. Even when he is standing tied to a tree with a 80-foot satellite protruding from his ass...

    Mr. Garrison with his "split personality" hand puppet Mr. Hat, Stan's issues with his girl Wendy... they all come together nicely.

    One of the best things is the whole side story with the cows running away from the aliens, and Officer Barbrady's attempts to catch the said cows since he's convinced there's no such thing as aliens...moreless
  • where it all began

    A show of supreme quality, very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very (apologies, the former review has been moved to a new home, soon you will all be given the key) very very very veryvery very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very enjoyable. A must-see.moreless
  • The start of a new era in television

    Cartman Gets an Anal Probe - The infamous first ever episode of South Park. Cartman is visited by aliens who insert an anal probe into him. He is told his experience is just a dream; but Chef believes otherwise. Meanwhile the start of Stan and Wendy begins in this episode. Stan is standing in the line for lunch when Kyle points out "isn't that Wendy Testaburger" and Stan looks at Wendy. Love hearts appear around him and his smile goes up. Wendy gives Stan a note to say meet her at Stark's Pond. They do and Stan pukes up on Wendy, the beginning of a running gag and a brillant tv show.moreless
Trey Parker

Trey Parker

Eric/Stan/Mr. Garrison/Officer Barbrady/Aliens/Cattle Rancher/Train Engineer

Matt Stone

Matt Stone


Mary Kay Bergman

Mary Kay Bergman

Wendy Testaburger/Liane Cartman/Ms. Crabtree/Lady

Isaac Hayes

Isaac Hayes


Trivia, Notes, Quotes and Allusions


  • TRIVIA (38)

    • Kenny's Death: In this episode, Kenny is run over by a police car.

    • Ike is the first character to be mentioned by name.

    • Kyle is the first person to curse in South Park, saying dammit after they stop singing during the start.

    • After Stan vomits from Wendy talking to him, the vomit disappears in a few shots. When the boys are first seen in the cafeteria, Stan is in front of Cartman. When Kyle says, "Hey look, there's Wendy Testeburger." in the next shot, Stan is now behind Cartman.

    • This was the only episode where Trey Parker and Matt Stone animated the whole episode.

    • During the theme song, right after Cartman says his line, the bus drives down the road and to the right is a big TV which has a part from "The Spirit of Christmas: Jesus vs. Santa." In the clip, you can see Santa spin Jesus over his head.

    • Visitor Sighting: There is a hidden alien on the lunch tray in the kitchen while the boys are talking to Chef.

    • It says on Chalkboard:
      Johnny threw the red ball.

      I ate too much couscous.

      Don't make fun of my grandpa.

      I'm not positive, but I think that Kathy Lee Gifford.

      is much older then she claims to be.

      Parts of speech are assigned to various words on the board.
      Kathy Lee Gifford is a noun - a proper noun (person) - but not a direct object. Kathy Lee Gifford is the noun (subject) of the embedded sentence following "that".

    • Chef says he's got twenty minutes before Sanford and Son is on, but the watch shows fifteen minutes to the hour. This means he's likely planning to watch Sanford and Son on TBS.

    • Both times Stan threw up at Stark's pond, long shots show Wendy's hair reversed.

    • The red-haired girl and blond girl sitting in the back row, right side, are soon replaced by Wendy and Pip. There's an identical redhead at the other end of the row who isn't replaced.

    • Mr. Hat appears as he would if he were a real puppet - with eyes hidden below the rim of his hat. After this episode, his eyes sit atop the rim of the hat.

    • When the boys are in the field waiting for the aliens, Kyle yells 'Come down here you stinking aliens!' however the voice we hear is Stan's. And the voice of Stan is Cartman's!

    • The stars keep changing (especially the sparkly big one) position when Cartman is tied to the tree.

    • Mr. Garrison's glasses change throughout shots, from a thin pair to a bold pair.

    • When the boys are first seen in the cafeteria, Stan is in front of Cartman. When Kyle says, 'Hey look, there's Wendy Testaburger' in the next shot Stan is now behind Cartman.

    • At one point in the original pilot, some fifth graders appear to antagonize the boys. The concept of the boys being bullied by peers of higher grades is later reused in other episodes such as "Korn's Groovy Pirate Ghost Mystery" (also involving fifth graders), "4th Grade" (with the former fourth grade students becoming fifth graders and pushing the boys around, who in turn push the new third graders around), and "The Return of the Lord of the Rings to the Two Towers" (with sixth graders trying to get a porno from the boys).

    • The ending of the pilot was significantly different. Instead of befriending the cows, the Visitors have a BBQ (presumably of the missing cows). At the end, Officer Barbrady is still chasing the UFOs and asks the children if they've seen them. They say no but suggest that he ask the people across the street, which happens to be the aliens disguised as people wearing Hawaiian shirts.

    • Another odd fact of the original pilot, Kenny reappears before the end of the episode, by the camera panning out until he comes into view. Stan and Kyle are rather stunned to see him alive once more, but Kenny doesn't seem to see this as odd. While this could be argued as the first time Kenny survives a whole episode, the main version of the pilot has more canon than this viewing, and also Kenny dies at one point anyway.

    • Mr. Garrison's first name of Herbert is mentioned for the first time.

    • This episode was adapted from the unaired pilot episode that had a different theme song and introduction.

    • When they are in the field at night waiting for the aliens, Kyle yells "come down here you stinkin aliens;" however the voice we hear is Stan's.

    • The real picture of the woman in a Cartman's house is Matt Stone's sister, Rachel.

    • Chef's apron goes from upper case to lower case in this episode.

    • Officer Barbrady's police car in this episode says "To Patronize and Annoy."

    • The blackboard says "I'm not sure but Kathy Lee Gifford is older than she claims to be."

    • In the classroom the picture of Columbus on the wall changes to an astronaut.

    • In this episode Mr. Hat has no eyes, but in the rest he does.

    • In the beginning when Ike is kicked through the window, He smashes the whole window, but in the other views (except a few seconds inside the bus) the window is in 2 segments like a normal school bus. He would have smacked this divider. Hehe. -PiGuy

    • When Stan says "That was beautiful" the tree beside him can be seen moving a little bit, when Stan says "nope, they're leaving", the same tree can be seen moving.

    • When the kids get on the bus, and are yelling at the bus driver, Stan, Kyle, Kenny, and Cartman are shown riding the bus, when the camera shows the bus driver, there are about 3 or 4 more kids on the bus.

    • When the children are talking about alien visitors with Chef, you can see that Chef's Apron has the word "CHEF" on it. Throughout the scene, the word "CHEF" becomes "chef" then "CHEF" again and "chef" again! From Capital case to lower case.

    • Kyle yells "Get down here you stupid aliens!" in Stan's voice

    • Kyle's pockets on his shirt aren't outlined in black.

    • Kathy Lee Gifford's name is misspelled on the board as Cathy Lee.

    • Throughout this entire episode, you can see the animation change back and forth. It starts with all paper cutout characters and everything looking all cheap then goes into a smoother design done entirely on computer, no paper used. Then it goes back to paper cut outs again! It goes back and forth through-out the entire episode. It isn't really hard to notice at all.

    • Compare the spoken word to the written word:
      From the DVD Kyle: You know what you assholes like! You like to _____ and sh___ and _____ and _____ and _____ and _____!
      From the official script Kyle: You know what you like!? I bet you'd all like to (beep) your own (beep) while she (beep) on your (beep) (beep)!!

    • When Cartman sings "Stan wants to ki-iss Wendy Testabur-ger" his hands have switched places, but are returned to their places a bit later.

  • QUOTES (32)

    • Conductor: Hey, you cows can't get on this train. This is a people train. You cows have no business on a people train, alright. Because you're cows. (The cows just stare at the conductor.) No, no, no. Don't try any of that cow hypnosis on me, alright?

    • Chef: (gets out of car) Hello there children!
      Boys: Hey Chef!
      Stan: What's gonna be for lunch today Chef?
      Chef: Well, today it's Salisbury steak with buttered noodles, and a choice of green bean casserole, or vegetable medley.
      Cartman: Kickass.

    • Kyle: Dude, I have to save Ike! I don't even know what to do!
      Stan: Well, we can't do anything now; that fat bitch won't let us!
      Ms. Crabtree: WHAT DID YOU SAY?!?
      Stan: I said that rabbits eat lettuce.
      Ms. Crabtree: Oh. Well, yes, they certainly do...

    • Cartman: (singing) Stan wants kiss Wendy Testaburger...
      Stan: Shut up, fat-ass! I don't even like her!
      Cartman: I'm not fat; and you obviously like her, because you throw up every time she talks to you.
      Stan: I do not!

    • (after seeing a crop circle on the news that looks just like him)
      Cartman: Hey, that kind of looks like...Tom Sellick.

    • Mr. Garrison: (seeing the alien spaceship) Boy, there sure are some strange things going on in this town... (as Mr. Hat) You can say that again, Mr. Garrison.

    • (Cartman yawns loudly.)
      Stan: Whoa, Cartman! You look like you didn't get enough sleep.
      Cartman: I know. That's because I was having these bogus nightmares.
      Kyle: Really? What about?
      Cartman: Well, I dreamed that I was lying in my bed in the dark. When all of a sudden, this bright blue light fills the room. Then slowly, my bedroom door begins to open. And the next thing I remember, I was being dragged through a hallway. Then I was lying on a table and these scary hands wanted to operate on me. And they had big heads and big black eyes…
      Stan: Dude! Visitors!
      Kyle: Totally!

    • Chef: An anal probe is when they stick a big metal hoob-a-joo up your butt.

    • Chef: Say, did any of you boys see the alien spaceship last night?
      (Cartman gasps in horror.)
      Kyle: (points to Cartman) Yeah! Fat-boy saw it!
      Cartman: N-No! That was just a dream! (to Kyle) And I'm not fat; I'm big boned!
      Chef: Were they the same ones with the thin bodies and round heads?
      (Cartman gasps in horror again.)
      Stan: They took him aboard their ship!
      Chef: Wow! (to Cartman) Did they give you an anal probe??
      (Cartman gasps in horror again.)
      Kyle: What's an anal probe?
      Chef: That's when they put this big metal hoopamajoob up your butt.
      Kyle: Whoa… (to Cartman) They gave you an anal probe, Cartman?
      Cartman: No, I mean… Why would they do that??
      Stan: Dude, they did, huh?? Aliens shove things up your ass!

    • Stan: Now, do you believe us, Cartman?
      Cartman: You guys can't scare me! I know you're making it all up.
      Stan: Cartman, there's an 80-foot satellite dish sticking out of your ass!
      Cartman: Sure, you guys, whatever.

    • Stan: (after Kyle smacks Cartman with Ike) Dude! That kicks ass!
      Kyle: Oh, yeah? You wanna see something really cool? (to Ike) Ready, Ike? Kick the baby!
      Ike: Don't kick the baby.
      Kyle: Kick the baby! (kicks Ike, sending him crashing into a few mailboxes)

    • Kyle: (about Ike) Damn it! He's still there!
      Stan: Oh, don't worry about him.
      Kyle: No,dude, if something happens to him, my parents are going to blame me!
      Stan: Yeah, whatever you fat bitch.
      Ms. Crabtree: WHAT DID YOU SAY?!
      Stan: I said "I have a bad itch."
      Ms. Crabtree: Oh.

    • Kyle: No, Ike. You can't come to school with me!
      Cartman: Yeah. Go home, you little dildo.
      Kyle: What?! Dude! Don't call my little brother a dildo!
      Stan: What's a dildo?
      Kyle: I don't know... But I'll bet Cartman doesn't know what it means!
      Cartman: I do TOO know what it means!
      Kyle: Okay, then... What?
      Cartman: I'm not telling you...

    • Officer Barbrady: (finding the cows) Ha! I caught you now, cows! Let's see you get away now!
      (A cow presses the button on machine given to them by aliens and then Officer Barbrady has big rosy cheeks and bright eyes like a 1920's cartoon character and begins singing and dancing.)
      Officer Barbrady: (singing) I like to sing-a, about the moon-a and the June-a and the spring-a, I like to sing-a, about a sky of blue-a or a tea for two-a...

    • Cartman: Ha, ha, ha! Mr. Hat yelled at you.

    • Kyle: Mr. Garrison, I HAVE to be excused!
      Mr. Garrison: Oh, I don't know, Kyle... Did you ask Mr. Hat?
      Kyle: I don't wanna ask Mr. Hat; I'm asking YOU!
      Mr. Garrison: Oh, I think you should ask Mr. Hat...
      Kyle: Mr. Hat, may I please be excused from class?
      Mr. Garrison: (as Mr. Hat) Well, Kyle... NO!!! You hear me?! You go to hell! You go to hell and you die! (as himself) Well, I guess you'll have to take your seat, Kyle.
      Kyle: Damn it! (walks back to his desk)

    • (Cartman drops out of the sky as Stan and Kyle wait for the bus.)
      Stan: Oh, hey, Cartman.
      Cartman: You guys, I just had the strangest dream...
      Kyle: Really? What about?
      Cartman: Well, I dreamed I was standing out in a field, and there was this huge satellite dish stickin' out of my butt. And there were hundreds of cows and aliens, and then I went up on the ship, and Scott Baio gave me pinkeye.
      Stan: That wasn't a dream, Cartman; that really happened!
      Cartman: Oh, right. Why don't I have pinkeye, then?
      Kyle: Cartman, you DO have pinkeye!
      Cartman: Ah! Son of a bitch!

    • Stan: Holy crap! Wendy wants to meet me at Stark's Pond after school today.
      Kyle: Wow. Maybe you can kiss her.
      Cartman: Or slip her the tongue.
      Kenny: (muffled) Maybe you can touch her pussy.
      Stan: What? How do you know she has a cat?
      (Kenny starts laughing)

    • Officer Barbrady: This is nothing out of the unusual. Cows turn themselves inside out all the time.
      Farmer: People's been saying they've been seeing UFO's around.
      Officer Barbrady: UFO's? Ha.
      Farmer: Yeah, and black army, CIA helicopters and trucks.
      Officer Barbrady: That is the silliest thing I've ever heard. (black helicopters fly overhead)
      Farmer: What was that?
      Officer Barbrady: That? That was a pigeon.

    • (Addressing an alien spacecraft)
      Chef: Hey, down here. We are ready for your wisdom. And you only got twenty minutes before Sanford and Son is on.

    • (Stan farts)
      Kyle: You farted.
      (both laugh)
      Cartman: Somebody's baking brownies.

    • Kyle: Miss. Crabtree you have got to stop the bus!
      Miss Crabtree: Do you want an office referral?!
      Kyle: No.
      Miss Crabtree: THEN SIT DOWN!!!
      Kyle: AH!!!
      Miss Crabtree: AHH!!!
      Kyle: AH!!!
      Miss Crabtree: AHH!!!
      Kyle and Miss Crabtree: AAHHH!!!!!!!!!

    • Kyle: Ready, Ike? Kick the baby!
      Ike: Don't kick the baby.
      Kyle: Kick the baby!

    • Cartman: You guys! Get me down from hee-ah!

    • Kyle: dad will start yelling, 'Where's your brother, Kyle?! You weren't looking out for your little brother, Kyle!'
      Stan: Calm down, dude.
      Kyle: 'You know he can't think on his own, Kyle! Brush and floss, Kyle! WHERE HAS THAT FINGER BEEN, KYLE?!'
      Stan: Dude!

    • Cartman: Why is it that everything today has to do with things either going in or coming out of my ass???

    • Kitty: Meow.
      Cartman: No kitty, this is my pot-pie.
      Kitty: Meow.
      Cartman: No KITTY, THIS IS MY POT-PIE! MOM! Kitty's being a dildo!
      Liane Cartman: Well then, I know a certain kitty-kitty whose sleeping with mommy tonight.
      Cartman: What?

    • (The Visitors appear in front of Stan and Kyle.)
      Stan: Go ahead, Kyle; ask them for your baby brother back.
      Kyle: Visitors... This morning you took my little brother, Ike. He's the little freckled kid that looks like a football. At first, I was happy you took him away, but I've learned something today... That having a little brother is a pretty special thing.
      Stan: Yeah.
      Kyle: Ah, heck, Mr. Visitors... I'm just a kid all alone in this crazy world, but if you could find it in your hearts or whatever you have, to give my brother back to me, it sure would make my life brighter again...
      Stan: That was beautiful, dude.
      Kyle: Did it work?
      Stan: No, they're leaving.
      Kyle: Hey, you scrawny-ass ********! What the **** is wrong with you?! You must be some kind of ******* ******* to be able to ignore a crying child!
      Stan: Whoa, dude!
      Kyle: You know what you ******* like?! You like to **** and **** and **** and **** and **** and ****!
      Stan: Hey, Wendy. What's a ****?

    • Ms. Cartman: Do you want Cheesy Poofs too?
      Cartman: Yeah, I want Cheesy Poofs.

    • Stan: The fat bitch won't let us.
      Miss Crabtree: What did you say?
      Stan: I said rabbits eat lettuce.
      Miss Crabtree: Oh, why yes, they certainly do.

    • Cartman: Screw you guys, I'm going home!

    • Kyle: Ike, do your impersonation of David Caruso's career.
      Ike: It's my turn!
      (Ike plummets from the spaceship in a nose dive to the ground)

  • NOTES (9)

    • In the original pilot, Pip has way more lines than in this episode.

    • First appearances: Chef, Mr. Garrison, Wendy, Ike, Pip, Cartman's Mom, Ms. Crabtree, Officer Barbrady and Farmer Denkins.

    • This is the fourth episode of South park, but it's an edited and shortened version of Episode 3. The episode is still considered the pilot episode to many viewers; due to it being the first episode that aired on TV.

    • In the original "Pilot" episode, Chef gives the boys Super Hot Tamales, instead of pulling the fire alarm to let the boys sneak out.

    • The Disclaimer:


    • This episode and pilot were the only South Park episodes that were made entirely out of construction paper.

    • Originally in the end when Kyle said "We're running out of friends," Kenny reappeared.

    • The deleted scene where Pip comes to the boys in the cafeteria lunch line asking what's today's lunch can be seen during "An Elephant Makes Love to a Pig".

    • That real picture next to Cartman's couch is a picture of one of the creator's sister.


    • Scott Baio
      Toward the end of the episode, Cartman accuses Scott Baio of giving him pinkeye. Baio is best known for his role as Fonzie's little brother on Happy Days.

    • Tex Avery:
      The song "I Love to Singa" which Cartman sings when the aliens take control of his body is from the 1936 Tex Avery cartoon of the same name.

    • The Sopranos:
      Chef says for lunch they have a choice of Green Bean Casserole. In Cancelled, Chef and the boys say Green Bean Salad. This episode is mentioned in one episode of The Sopranos when A.J. is with his counselor and he mentioned the episode.

    • Cannibal! The Musical:
      "Uhyouyouyou gotta help the children." - Chef's statement here goes back to 1994, when Trey and Matt were working on Cannibal! The Musical. From The Making of Cannibal: The Musical, Chapter 9, by Jason McHugh: They couldn't stop talking about this big fat black guy they had run into, who kept saying "Watch the children, ya'll gots to watch the children." They kept putting their hands out pretending they were in some fat suit, and then they'd say, "Watch the children," a few times until they were laughing hysterically. I'm still not sure if they actually ran into someone specific or not, but the description of the watch-the-children man became more and more outrageous as the weeks pass by. I guess that was the birth of Chef!

    • Dr. Suess:

      "Cows on a people train" - from an obscure Dr.Seuss book entitled "In A People House," which he wrote under the pseudonym "Theo LeSeig"

    • David Caruso:

      "Do your impersonation of David Caruso's career": refers to his career after NYPD Blue - it took a dive like when Ike takes a dive head first into the snow.

    • Charlie Brown:

      Stan's humungous smile is very reminiscent of Charlie Brown's; indeed, of any cartoon character who shows a deep crush on another.

    • Soylent Green:
      The blackboard says Tuesday is salisbury steak day. Later in the episode it shows the board again with "Tuesday" crossed out and "today" written above it. This quote is a reference to the 1973 film Soylent Green. In the movie, you see a blackboard with "Tuesday is soylent green day" and later you see the same board with "Tuesday" crossed out and "today" written above it.