South Park

Season 11 Episode 2

Cartman Sucks

Aired Wednesday 10:00 PM Mar 14, 2007 on Comedy Central



  • Quotes

    • (Cartman entered the kitchen in tears)
      Mrs. Cartman: Eric, Poopsie, what's the matter?
      Cartman: I... don't... wanna go to school tomorrow!
      Mrs. Cartman: Sweetie, tell Mommy what happened.
      Cartman: Kyle... has a picture of me... and he's gonna show everyone during show and tell... and, and everyone's gonna laugh at me!
      Mrs. Cartman: Oh, now why would he do that?
      Cartman: Because he's jealous of how much smarter I am than him. So he's gonna show everyone the picture.
      Mrs. Cartman: What is the picture of, Eric?
      Cartman: Last time, when Butters stayed the night, I was being really nice to him, and I was gonna take a picture of him for his mom to have...
      Mrs. Cartman: Oh, that's nice.
      Cartman: But then, right when I took the picture, Butters got really hot, so he pulled his pajama bottoms down, and then I tripped and fell down and my mouth landed right on his penis, and then I thought of something funny so I smiled up at the camera and gave, like, a thumb's up, and then Kyle took the picture from me and he's gonna show it to everybody and make them think I'm gay!
      Mrs. Cartman: Oh, there, there, sweetie. It'll be okay. These things happen.
      Cartman: But, Mom, I've been trying to get the picture back, but he won't give it to me.
      Mrs. Cartman: It's okay, Eric. I'll have a talk with Kyle's mother.
      Cartman: You... you will?