Cartman's grandmother dies; leaving him a $1 million inheritance and the rest of the family gets $14.12 in stocks and bonds to divide amongst themselves. Kyle begins to lose his faith in God, when he sees that Cartman does indeed have $1 million. Cartman now starts to live out the dream he has had since his was 2 years old; he purchases a theme park. The theme park is renamed "Cartmanland" and it is only open for Cartman, so there will be no lines. Kyle wakes up with a hemorrhoid and it really causes him to seriously question his faith, as he who tries to be good is suffering and Cartman who isn't good isn't suffering. In fact Cartman is very happy in his own theme park.
After seeing a commercial for "Cartmanland," in which Cartman specifically mentions they are not allowed, Stan and Kyle try to sneak into the park, but Kyle's hemorrhoid causes them to be caught. Cartman hires a security guard, but discovers that he can't pay the guard with free rides. He is going to have to allow two people in the park to pay the guard's salary. Kyle renounces his faith. When a ride breaks down, Cartman has to let two more people into the park so that he can hire a maintenance person.
When the maintenance person demands that there be food in the park, Cartman is forced to let even more people in to cover the additional expenses. In disguise, Stan tries to sneak in and is caught. Kyle's parents try to restore Kyle's faith. More people are let into "Cartmanland" and Kyle is fighting his hemorrhoid. Meanwhile on the TV show Money Quest, they are talking about the turnaround of a theme park. Cartman's "you can't come" technique has spawned a new marketing trend being adopted by many other businesses citing Cartman as a marketing genius. Kyle flatlines upon hearing this news; meanwhile Cartman is miserable, since he is no longer alone in his theme park. Cartman wants his $1 million back.
Kyle is at death's door and Cartman sells the amusement park back to the original owner and gets his money back, until the IRS and Kenny's family lay claim to his money. Stan brings Kyle to see Cartman's misery, which ensures Kyle's speedy recovery of his health and his faith.
Kenny dies when he is impaled by a loose steel beam while riding Cartman's "Mine Shaft" roller coaster.