The magical world of reading comes to South Park. Barbrady is on COPS and the case that he is catches involves a chicken lover. When pressed for finding a solution to the crime, Barbrady threatens the townsfolk with violence for fishing without a license. Frustrated with living his lie that he can't read, Barbrady lets everyone know this terrible secret and he retires from the police force during a press conference about the chicken lover. With no police force, Barbrady was the only officer, the town of South Park plunges into "total anarchy." Looting and pillaging have broken out. Kenny almost dies during the rioting. The mayor demands that Barbrady take a leave of absence to learn to read. Barbrady joins the boys in Mr. Garrison's class. Meanwhile the chicken lover strikes again.
Cartman gives his F worthy book report on "The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe," which he never read. His version has hippies. Officer Barbrady gives an A worthy report on "Go Dog Go." At recess the mayor and her staff demand that Barbrady learn to read right away, as the chicken lover has struck again. The boys offer their assistance. Cartman is sent to patrol the town, while the other boys help Officer Barbrady to start following a series of reading clues to find the identity of the chicken lover. Cartman pulls over Stan's father and begins to exert his "authoritah" and is shown in a COPS-like segment called CARTMAN.
Officer Barbrady is about to give up on reading, when some support from the Kyle and Stan (and Mr. Garrison's lessons) he is able to read the next clue which will take them to the petting zoo. Meanwhile on CARTMAN, Cartman goes to a domestic disturbance at the McKormick household. Cartman exerts his "authoritah" over the Kenny's parents while Kenny and (his brother!?) watch. At the petting zoo, Kenny arrives on the scene and almost dies again, when Officer Barbrady, Stan and Kyle catch the bookmobile driver as the chicken lover. It was all part of the bookmobile driver's plan to get Officer Barbrady to read. Cartman arrives on the scene and starts to exert his "authoritah" on the bookmobile driver, when Officer Barbrady shows him the proper way to exert authority when using a Billy club. Now that Officer Barbrady has learned how to read, the bookmobile driver gives him a copy of "Atlas Shrugged" by Ayn Rand.
The town celebrates the return of Officer Barbrady who is glad to be back. Officer Barbrady then tells the town in his speech that he was once happy to be able to learn how to read, but since he's read "Atlas Shrugged" by Ayn Rand he's sorry that he ever learned.
Kenny finally dies when a tree falls on him during the phony part of the end credits.