South Park

Season 7 Episode 9

Christian Rock Hard

2
Aired Wednesday 10:00 PM Oct 29, 2003 on Comedy Central

Episode Recap

The boys have a band called "Moop," but decide that they need some inspiration and direction for their music. Cartman suggests that they become a Christian Rock band. Kyle responds by throwing him out of the band. Cartman bets Kyle $10 that he will get a platinum album before he does. Cartman then sets out to put together a band; he gets Butters (on drums) and Token (on bass). Kyle asks his father for $300 so that he can buy CDs to help his band find their sound. When his dad refuses to give him the money, it turns out it doesn't matter anyway, Kenny tells them they can download music for free. The boys start downloading music for free until the FBI swoops in and arrests them, meanwhile Cartman, Butters, and Token work on their music. Sergeant Yates takes Kyle, Stan, and Kenny and shows them what their downloading music for free has done. Recording artists are going to be doomed to a life of semi-luxury. Cartman takes Token and Butters to a beach where he shoots the cover for the first album cover for FAITH + 1.The parents come to collect their children. The boys decide that even if they got their band going again, everyone would begin to download their music for free; instead they decide to go on strike and refuse to play. Cartman stops by their protest to report that he has sold 13 copies and is well on his way to getting his platinum album. Kyle reminds him that he needs to 1,000,000 copies. Cartman plans on selling his album at "Christ-Fest." At the festival Cartman realizes that to boost his sales, he is going to have to get their band on stage. He tricks one of the performing bands and FAITH + 1 takes their place on stage and they play to a packed house. Back in South Park, Metallica and other artists join Moop in their strike against music downloading.A big record company agrees to promote and sell FAITH + 1's album. Still on strike, Moop receives word that Cartman has achieved his goal; he has sold 1,000,000 copies of his album and they are invited to the platinum album ceremony. Kyle realizes they were so wrapped up in trying to protect their music they forgot to just play. Real artists play for the love of music, not the money. Moop ends their strike; the other artists that joined them confess that they are only in it for the money. Cartman has spent all of FAITH + 1's money on the awards ceremony. Kyle tries to give Cartman his $10, but Cartman gets the proceedings underway. The record company comes out and presents Cartman with FAITH + 1's first myrrh album. It seems Christian Rock albums are awarded in gold, frankincense, and myrrh. When Cartman realizes that he can never get a platinum album with a Christian Rock band (and never win his bet with Kyle) he takes the Lord's name in vain and then some, and thus ruins his band.
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