South Park

Season 7 Episode 9

Christian Rock Hard

Aired Wednesday 10:00 PM Oct 29, 2003 on Comedy Central

Episode Fan Reviews (10)

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out of 10
459 votes
  • Awesome episode!

    I love the lyrics to all of the songs done by Eric Cartman. All you need to do is take love songs and change the name to Jesus. The lyrics to all the Christian parody songs in this episode are:

    "I need you in my life, Jesus. I can't live without you, Jesus. And I just want to feel you deep inside me,

    "Don't ever leave me Jesus, I couldn't stand to see you go. My heart would simply snap, my Lord, if you walked on out that door. I promise I'll be good to you, and keep you warm at night. Jesus, Jesus, Jesus why don't we just shut off the light?"

    "You know Jesus, I've been thinking a lot about you lately, and well, that's why I wrote this song: I love you Jesus, I want you to walk with me. I'll take good care of you baby, call you my baby, baby. You died for my sins, and you know that I would die for you, right? What's the matter baby? You're trembling Jesus baby. Your love, is my life. You know when I'm without you there's a black hole in my life. Oh, I wanna believe it's alright, but I get lonely in the night, and it's up to you to save me, Jesus

    "I want to walk hand-in-hand with Jesus on a private beach for two. I want him to nibble on my ear and say 'I'm here for

    "Oh Lord you are my savior, you know I miss you so much when you are

    "Yes, I may be born again, but I wasn't born again

    "I wanna get down on my knees and start pleasing Jesus. I wanna feel his salvation all over my

    "The body of Christ, sleek swimmer's body all muscled up and toned. The body of Christ, oh what a body I wish I could call it my own. Lord almighty, I've never been so enticed. Oh, I wish I could have the body of Christ. Body of Christ. Body of Christ. Body of Christ. Lord almighty, I've never been so enticed. Oh, I wish I could have the body of

    "You're one time, two times, three times my

    "Whenever I see Jesus up on that cross, I can't help but think that he looks kinda
  • Cool episode.

    The boys have hit a crossroads with their band "Moop." Cartman wants the band to play Christian Rock, and leaves the band when Stan, Kyle, and Kenny don't agree. Before leaving, Cartman bets Kyle $10 that he will get a platinum album with a Christian Rock band before "Moop" can. This was a very special episode. I love top watch it over and over and over again. Its one of my favorite episodes of all time not just of South Park. Its one of the best episodes of South Park. It was really, really funny. Moop is a funny name for a band.
  • This is one of the best south park episodes ... It rocksss !

    I think this episode makes silly everyone who's against downloading mp3s from internet. We all know that mp3 or p2p or downloading songs from internet is not an artist problem. It's all about record firms. The record companies are still making ($) a lot of money but less. This will be a lesson to them i think. Thanks to the producers, great job with this subject. Also making Jesus songs from love songs ahaha :) cartman you're the number one !

    This is one of the best south park episodes i think. Subject war very simple and it has a good message in it.
  • This show doesn't have any boundries and this is why. Taking a funny lookat christian rock is a fresh way to deal with the issue of does this music suck?

    I like the part when cartman tells token that he knows how to play bass guitar and that he infact does have one down in his basement. The fact that he he was using old songs to cling the charts is also very funny. How do matt and trey come up with this stuff? It's like these guys have an endless supp;y of laughter. The arguements between cartman and kyle are just as funny as ever in this episode, and the gang is great as always at integrating second-tier characters and pulling it off seamlessly. Butters also going "#2" on cartmans head was a great ending too.
  • cool

    best episode kdkdkdk kddddddddddd l l l l ll l ll l ll l ll l l ll l ll l l ll l ll l lll l l l ll l ll l l ll l ll ll l l ll l lk kk k kk k kk k kk mm mm m mm mm m mm mm m m mm mm m mm m mm m mm m **** dbbdjjdf dsd f d sd s d s d s d s d s d s d sd s d d d d sd ds s d sds z c
  • I wanna feel his salvation al over my face!

    This was a brilliant episode of "South Park". In this episode Eric makes a Christian Rock Band [loved Tokens comments on playing Bass] to win a bet against Kyle. But he is mainly rewriting pop love songs replacing "baby" with "Jesus" and things like that. And people thought he REALLY loved Jesus. But "Faith + 1" becomes a huge band and sells 1 million CD's much to Kyles dissapointment as their band "Moop" has nothing and is protesting piracy of Music [a great parody of that, besides those ******** have enough money]. Then Eric had "Moop" come to his bands party in which he spent all of the money only to discover that it was a "Myyrh" album and not a Platinum one, and Eric screamed "**** Jesus" and then Token kicked Erics ass and Butters told Eric to **** himself.
  • Cartman once again bets Kyle, saying that he will be able to get a platinum album first. So he, Butters, and Token form a Christian Rock band, Cartman changing lyrics slightly from older songs, replacing words like "baby" and "darling" with "jesus".

    This episode, though not my favorite by far, is pretty hilarious. I enjoyed all of Cartman\'s pre-concieved notions about black people come true, like that Token has to have a bass in his basement simply because he\'s black.

    The very end of the episode is what made me give this one a 9 rating. In the last few seconds of the episode, after Cartman has discovered that Christian bands can\'t go platinum, and been beat up by Token, Butters farts on his face, flips him off, and says **** you Cartman\". Man, I love Butters so so much .... hoo-ray!
  • A hilarious spoof of music piracy and being a rock star.

    Cartman can't join his friends' band Moop, so he, butters, and token form a christian rock band faith + 1 (pronounced faith plus one). Meanwhile, Stan, Kyle, and Kenny are arrested for downloading music off the internet, and learning the consequences, they and other musicians like blink-182, Missy Elliott, Ozzy Osbourne, and Metallica decide to go on strike until music piracy ends, while Faith + 1 enjoy success at a Christian music festival and their first album.

    This is a hilarious, well written satire of the music industry and how it runs. It evens makes fun of Christian rock and how it doesn't come under the same league as other music. However, I do warn viewers that "F you jesus" is said toward the end, so watch with caution, either cover your ears or watch the edited version on syndication.
  • I'm a Christain and I was 100% not offended. "Christain Hard Rock" was flatout funny.

    So Cartman gets a brilliant idea to start a Christain rock band that his friends are opposed to. A bet takes place between him and Kyle to see who would make a platinum album first. While Cartman's album is released and begins to sell well, Kyle's band, Moop, is caught trying to download music for free off the internet. This leads him, Stan, and Kenny to find out the awful truth that recording artists will be doomed to a life of semi-luxury if people keep getting their music for free. While Moop protests, Cartman's band - Faith + 1 - sells a million copies, which is enough to go platinum. Cartman spends all the money he made to celebrate his success and to humiliate Kyle. All this only to find out the Christain groups can only get Myrrh (?) records, not platinum. Instead of basking in the glory of his band, Cartman throws it all away over a gay little bet.

    I just thought that was a well written episode.
  • 105th Episode

    Faith plus one is a brilliant band, filled with love and Jesus-loving... a true Christian Rock band... NOT!

    Cartman's vow to win the bet that a Christian Rock band's album could go platinum before Stan, Kyle and Kenny's band could is a very good plot and has some great scenes such as the songs that Faith + 1 alter that make them sound like they love Jesus more than a normal person would and surprisingly Jesus himself doesn't even turn up in this episode.

    The fact that Cartman actually wins is a good twist since he always seems to lose.

    Overall, this episode is terrific and a well written SP episode