South Park

Season 7 Episode 9

Christian Rock Hard

Aired Wednesday 10:00 PM Oct 29, 2003 on Comedy Central



  • Trivia

    • When the boys are practicing for their band, Stan is seen playing an electric guitar, but there is no amplifier. You can't play an electric guitar without an amp.

    • When all of the bands and singers are arriving, you can see Skylar and his two band mates getting off the bus.

    • When Kyle was yelling at Cartman, he said "A Christian rock band was a stupid idea then and it's a stupid idea now," and "You don't even know anything about Christianity." If you have seen the two-parter, "Do The Handicapped Go To Hell?" and "Probably," you will know that Cartman obviously had known MUCH about Christianity. However as he was doing it for the money, he could just been acting thus explaining his line "I know enough to exploit it".

    • The scene where Faith Plus + 1 gets a record label is at a studio called faith records, but when the commercial comes on it says 'k-tal' records. However, K-Tal may be a division of Faith Records.

    • The album cover changes again the third time it's shown. Second time, Butters is facing to the side. Third time, Butters is facing forward.

    • Although it is a very amusing joke, there is no Myrrh Album. Christian Rock does get Platinum.

  • Quotes

    • "Sanctified" Guitarist: Is this the way to the backstage?
      Cartman: Who are you?
      "Sanctified" Drummer: We're the band "Sanctified". We play metal and punk, but with lyrics that inspire faith in Jesus. We prove that Christian music can be tough and hardcore.
      Cartman; (sarcastically) Yeah, you guys are really hardcore.
      "Santified" Guitarist: You bet your goshdarned rear ends we are!

    • Cartman:(Singing)I want to get down on my knees and start pleasing Jesus, I want to feel his salvation all on my face...

    • Cartman: (Singing) The Body of Christ!
      Sleek swimmer's body, all muscled up and toned!
      The Body of Christ!
      O, Lord Almighty, I wish I could call it my own!

    • Cartman: You know, Jesus? I've been thinking a lot about you lately and, well, that's why I wrote this song. I love you, Jesus. I want you to walk with me. I'll take good care of you baby. Call you my baby, baby! You died for my sins, and you know that I would die for you, right? What's the matter, baby? You tremble at Jesus, baby! Your love… is my life! You know when I'm without you, there's a black hole in my life! Oo-ohhh! I wanna believe. It's all right, 'cause I get lonely in the night and it's up to you to Save me! Jee…sus…bay-by!

    • Token: This christian album better make as much money as you say, tubby.
      Cartman: I'm going to kill you one day, Token.
      Token: What did you say?
      Cartman: Nothing!

    • Token: But I don't have a bass guitar.
      Cartman: Jesus, Token, you're black, there's gotta be a bass guitar in your basement somewhere.

    • Randy Marsh: Stan, are you okay?
      Stan: Yea dad we're just rehearsing our band.
      Randy Marsh: Ooooooh. I thought a group of Vietnamese people were having their intestines ripped out through their mouths.

    • (Kyle wants money to buy CD's but his dad says "no")
      Kyle: Pops, I've got the music inside me. It's in my soul. And I know my place is up on that stage. I'm gonna make it to the top. And I just want your blessing, Pops.
      Gerald: The answer is no, Kyle.
      Kyle: Aw, come on Dad, don't be such a Jew!
      Sheila: Kyle, don't belittle your own people.

    • Cartman: F--k you Token, you black asshole!!
      (Token punches Cartman twice in the face, then kicks him in the face)

    • Stan: You don't even know anything about Christianity!
      Cartman: I know enough to exploit it.

    • (Token wants to leave the band)
      Cartman: Walk out that door, Token, and you'll regret it the rest of your life! Christians have a built-in audience of over 180 million Americans! If each one of them buys just one of our albums at $12.95 that would be - (points to Butters)
      Butters: $2, 331, 000, 000.
      Cartman: Still want to leave, Token?

    • Cartman: I have never in my life done anything just for the money! If I'm lying may the Lord strike me down right now.
      (Butters walks away, just in case)

    • Reporter: Tom, we're now entering the second day of the rock band MOOP's refusal to play, and the second day of absolutely no other news to report on. In a recent poll we asked people if MOOP's refusal to play would stop them from downloading music off the Internet. 1% said yes. 2% said no. And 97% said, "Who the hell is MOOP?" Back to you, Tom.

    • Cartman: Awww, f*** Jesus!

    • Cartman: (singing) I wanna get down on my knees and start pleasing Jesus! I wanna feel his salvation all over my face!

    • Cartman: (singing) Whenever I see Jesus up on that Cross I can't help but think that he looks kinda hot.

    • Butters: Huh, we're not really Christians, we're just pretendin' we are.
      Cartman: Butters, remind me later to cut your balls off.

    • Executive: We just have one question, though. We were looking over some of your lyrics. (reads lyrics) I want to walk hand-in-hand with Jesus on a private beach for two. I want him to nibble on my ear and say "I'm here for you". It seems you really love Christ.
      Cartman: Yes, we sure do.
      Executive: No, but it appears you are actually in love with Christ.
      Cartman: Well what are you saying? That, that you don't really love Christ?
      Executive: Well of course I do. I mean I just -
      Cartman: Well what's the difference? You love Christ, you're in love with Christ, I mean, uh, what the heck is this?

    • Cartman: All right, Token, give me a smooth bass line.
      Token: I don't know how to play bass.
      Cartman: Token, how many times do we have to go through this? You're black. You can play bass.
      Token: I'm gettin' real sick of your stereotypes!
      Cartman: Be as sick as you want, just give me a God damned bass line!
      (Token starts to play well, to his astonishment.)
      Token: Oh God dammit.

  • Notes

    • This is the first episode of South Park to air in Halloween week, and have nothing to do with Halloween.

    • Metallica is one of the biggest opponents of music piracy.

    • Coincidentally, during the broadcast of this episode, there was a commercial that aired stating of's return. (However, this new version of Napster is a pay per song or album service.)

    • In the category of "The Simpsons Already Did It": Cartman's method of changing the word "baby" in famous pop songs to "Jesus" is similar to Rachel Jordan saying that her band used Christian rock songs as mainstream pop music by changing the word "Jesus" to "baby" in the Alone Again Natura-Diddly episode of The Simpsons.

  • Allusions

    • Capitol Records:

      This is the second time Capitol Records in Hollywood has been parodied. In "Chef Aid" it was called Capitalist Records, but didn't have the distinctive record-stack shape shown in this episode. Here it has the record-stack shape, but is called Faith Records.

    • Sanctified: We play Metal and punk but with Christian overtones.

      This is possibly an allusion to the Christian Thrash Metal band Demon Hunter. Their lyrics are written as strongly Christian, but are violent enough to attract a hardcore image.

    • Sampling:

      The fact that Faith+1 was using old songs but changing the words is pointing at many artists. The include Puff Daddy's "I'll Be Missing You" (which was basically "Every Breath You Take" if the Police had rapped it). It also points at Vanilla Ice's "Ice, Ice Baby" (which used the beat from "Under Pressure" by Queen f/ David Bowie).

    • Plus 1:

      There is an actual Christian Boy Band called Plus 1.

    • A Christmas Carol:

      Detective: I see an island without an owner...

      The scene where the detective shows the kids various examples of what their piracy has done is a spoof on "A Christmas Carol" by Charles Dickens. The ghost of christmas future tells Scrooge, in reference to Tiny Tim, "I see a cane without an owner........", foreshadowing that he will die.