Mrs. Garrison was dumped again by his latest man and the he takes it out on the students. He assigns them the task of reading "The Old Man and the Sea" and writing an essay about it over the weekend. Cartman tells the other boys that they won't have their weekend ruined; there are people you can hire to do these sorts of things. He takes the boys down by a moving company, where there are a number of Mexicans hanging around looking for work. The Mexicans agree to read the book and write their essays. At Curves, the gym for women only, Mrs. Garrison is still ranting and raving about men. A woman named Allison, who's working out nearby, strikes up a conversation with him. She tells him about "Les Bos", which is a "girl bar". Allison takes Janet Garrison to "Les Bos" and he finally realizes where he is. He tells Allison that he doesn't even understand how two girls can make love, unless they do some kind of scissoring thing. Allison shows Mrs. Garrison how scissoring works. On Monday morning the boys go find the Mexicans to get their homework. The Mexicans read the book, but there was a communications breakdown with the meaning of the word essay. The Mexicans thought it was weird that the boys wanted them to write their "ese", which is their word for homeboy, dog, dude, etc. The boys think they are screwed with there only being 10 minutes before school starts. In the classroom Mrs. Garrison enters incredibly happy. He tells his students that they can have more time for their book reports and he also announces to them that he's gay, to which Stan retorts "Again?" That night at "Les Bos" Mrs. Garrison is in search of someone else to scissor with and eventually gets into a fight. The fight is halted when word comes down that their bar has been sold to Persians.
Ms. Garrison and a contingent of lesbians are at City Hall demanding that the mayor help them out. When the mayor won't help, Mrs. Garrison gets the other Lesbos to take a stand with him at the bar and the gauntlet is thrown down, when Garrison kicks the Persian delegate in the nuts. The delegate returns to headquarters and tells of the rebellious Lesbos. They call for reinforcements. Lesbos stand guard outside the bar, ready to take on the onslaught of Persian redecorators. For hours the lesbians hold off the Persian decorating onslaught. When he hears the report of the battle the Persian club owner realizes he will have to deal with these Lesbos himself.
Now that they've held off the Persians, the Lesbos wonder what their next step should be, they realize they need a permanent solution and come up with the idea of digging up some dirt on the Persians. Mrs. Garrison knows where they can hire somebody to infiltrate the Persians and get them the information they are looking for. He and a couple of lesbians go down to the same moving company where Cartman and the boys hired their Mexicans and they hire some Mexicans of their own. While waiting for their spies to report, Mrs. Garrison realizes his fellow lesbians are growing tired. He responds by making them coffee. With everyone now alert they believe the Persians are approaching, but it turns out to be the Mexican infiltrators. They didn't find the Persians doing anything illegal at their club, but they did discover a secret about the owner. Mrs. Garrison uses that secret to out the fact that the Persian club owner is actually a woman. He even introduces her to scissoring. "Les Bos" is saved, for "no dike should be without cocktails." Back at South Park Elementary, the fourth grade class has several substitute teachers, the group of Mexicans are teaching them about fractions and the boys believe they might actually be learning something.