South Park

Season 8 Episode 8

Douche and Turd

1
Aired Wednesday 10:00 PM Oct 27, 2004 on Comedy Central

Episode Recap

The kids are at a pep rally and when the school mascot comes out to do his dance, the gymnasium is overrun by protesters from PETA. They are protesting the use of a cow as the school's mascot. To eliminate the ongoing PETA threat, the school is going to hold an election to pick a new mascot. Kyle suggests that they get everyone to write in "Giant Douche" as their choice. Cartman suggests that they get everyone to write-in "Turd Sandwich." Kenny is on Kyle's side, Butters likes "Turd Sandwich" and Stan doesn't care. After much deliberation Jimmy likes "Giant Douche." The results are in and the top two nominations are the write-in candidates, and now the campaigning can begin. Stan tells Kyle he is not going to vote, he thinks the whole thing is stupid. Stan tells his parents he is not going to vote between a douche and turd, because he doesn't see the difference between the two. Stan gets a visit from Puff Daddy, who enlightens Stan on his "Vote or Die" campaign and that causes Stan to change his mind about voting.

Cartman and Butters are out campaigning and trying to get Clyde's vote. Stan shows up at the polls and tells Kyle that he is going to vote. Kyle is all for it, until he sees that Stan has decided to vote for "Turd Sandwich." Cartman tries to make sure that Stan's vote is cast, but Stan decides that despite the consequences he isn't going to vote. Stan and his parents are in Principal Victoria's office, she tells them that for his lack of participation in the election process, Stan has been banished from South Park. Stan is sent out of town on the back of a horse. Stan's horse brings him cross country and into the woods where his horse is saved from being Stan's slave by a group of PETA fanatics. They bring the horse (and reluctantly Stan) to their secret compound. At the compound, Stan is witness to the PETA members love for their animals. To see if Stan can stay at their compound, Stan has to get approval from the group's leader, Dr. Cornwallis, who from Stan's viewpoint appears to be a goat.

On the South Park Public Access channel there is a televised debate between the "Giant Douche" and the "Turd Sandwich," moderated by Jim Lehrer. Neither candidate comes off as a winner. At the PETA compound it is apparent Stan isn't fitting in and he is told he should go home. He tells them the how and why of his banishment. Stan learns the most fundamental rule of elections that you will always have to choose between a douche and a turd. Stan is found by Puff Daddy and his men. Puff Daddy's animal skins are hit with red paint, in the ensuing gunfire from Puff Daddy's men; the human population of the PETA compound is killed. Stan, who escaped the melee at the compound returns to cast his vote. While Stan's vote for "Turd Sandwich" wasn't enough to fight the landslide that "Giant Douche" won by his vote was important anyway. That is, it was, until the report comes in about the PETA slaughter and the old mascot is reinstated.
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