South Park

Season 12 Episode 5

Eek, A Penis!

Aired Wednesday 10:00 PM Apr 09, 2008 on Comedy Central

Episode Recap

Ms. Garrison has a breakdown in class, he still feels like a man. His sex change was a mistake, but with all the damage done from the operation to make him a woman, he can't make the change back. Garrison is taken out of the classroom and Principal Victoria reluctantly lets Cartman lead the class in a review for an upcoming quiz. Meanwhile, Ms. Garrison finds out that a local company might have the ability to grow him a new penis. Cartman is commended for his ability to teach; under his guidance the class had its highest scores ever. Officials from a Denver school district want Cartman to come make a difference in one of their schools and for his effort he is going to get $300. Of course Stan and the other boys know the only reason their class scored so well is because they cheated by taking answers out of Garrison's desk. After Kyle warns him that the inner-city kids will murder a middle class white boy trying to tell them what to do, Cartman decides to change his look. He is introduced to his students at Jim Davis High School as "Eric Cartmanez." He tells the students he is there to teach them "calculus". Back in South Park the company was able to grow a penis on the mouse. When Garrison tries to feel the new penis, the mouse and penis escape from the lab. Cartmanez passes out his syllabus and reveals to his students that the only way to get ahead is to cheat; it's what white people do all the time. He uses New England Patriots' coach Bill Belichick as an example. If you cheat and fail then you are a cheater, but if you succeed you are "savvy". One of his male students doesn't want to be a cheater and he leaves the classroom, Cartmanez wonders again, "how do I reach deez kids?" At a South Park playground stops where the boys are playing asks them to be on the lookout for his penis.

Cartman reaches out to his rebellious male student and shows him the benefits of cheating, but the student still doesn't buy into the concept. At the Stotch home, Linda is surprised to see a mouse with a penis running through their kitchen. Butters recognizes it as his teacher's penis and his father wonders how. Cartmanez is lecturing his student on getting material ahead of time when his rebellious male student reenters oom, intent on giving cheating a try. He tells the student if caught to fall back on the phrase Belichick used, 'I misinterpreted the rules'. Meantime, back in South Park Garrison's new penis is still on the run. While Cartmanez is drilling his students, one of his female students leaves the oom. He follows her out and she confesses that she is pregnant and knows that she won't go to college. Despite her Catholicism he convinces her to cheat and get an abortion, just like the white girls do. At the Park County Police Station while Garrison is describing his mousy penis to the detectives a call comes in that a penis has been spotted at an Italian restaurant.

At the Italian restaurant the mousy penis is causing quite a stir. It escapes out back and after the mouse and penis stop to sing a song under the moonlight on the fence, it escapes down the drain. The police tell Garrison to forget about it, he might as well resign himself to being an ugly woman. When Cartmanez's students score highly they are rewarded by being allowed to take the Standardized Advanced Placement Test for college credit, which is a heavily monitored test where it will be hard to cheat, but Cartmanez will show them the way. Back in South Park Garrison is crying on park bench, when his mousy penis finds him. The results of the Standardized Advanced Placement Test are in and not surprisingly all 24 students scored 100%. When his students thank him Cartmanez realizes that he "reached deez kids"; back at South Park Elementary Mr. Garrison makes his triumphant return as a dude gets right back to being his old self.
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