South Park Season 11 Episode 12

Santa Claus: Okay, Kyle, that's enough ball sucking.

Tom: Santa Claus and leprechauns are imaginary, but Jesus and hell are real!
Scientist 1: Well then, what about Buddha?
Tom: Well of course he's imaginary!
Scientist 1: Awww, see? Now you're being intolerant, Tom.
Scientist 3: Am I real?

Aslan: We can get Imaginationland under control; the Chosen One just needs more time!
Stan: The Chosen One?
Butters: Yeah, it turns out I'm the Key.

Butters: Why would they nuke Imaginationland?
Stan: So the terrorists can't ever use it against us again.

Robin Hood: We managed to fight off the vampires and werewolves, but... now our troops are being shot down by the Cavity Creeps...

Kyle: Please, I need to talk to the people inside. They can't set off that nuke.
Guard: Get behind the line with the other protesters!
Hippie: No nukes in our imagination, bro! Wooo!
Kyle: Uhn, you don't understand! My friend is in Imaginationland! I can hear him in my head!
Guard: You pot-smokin' hippies aren't gettin' through here, so back off!

Kyle: I'm going to try to save Stan and Butters from getting nuked!
Cartman: Okay okay, but you you have to suck my balls first real quick.
Kyle: No I don't! The decision was overturned.
Cartman: We had a deal Kyle!
Kyle: Yeah, that leprechauns were real! And the government just declared they aren't technically real, so I was right! It's over! I don't have to suck your balls!
Cartman: It isn't over! It isn't over, Kyle! I have not waited this long to see you weasel your way out of this bet! Go ahead and go. But I swear on my life! Before this day is over! You, will, suck my balls! I SWEAR IT!

Chief Justice: The Supreme Court has ruled with the military that imaginary things are officially not real, and therefore no approval is needed to nuke them.
General: Thank you.
Kyle: Oh no.
Chief Justice: This of course overturns any imagination-based verdicts in the past, including the famous Cartman v. Broflovski ballsucking case.
Cartman: ...What?
Steven: So it appears the military is ready to proceed with its operation, one they are calling "Operation Nuke the Imagination Through the Imagination Doorway."

Stan: Hello? Can anybody hear me?
Kyle: Stan! Dude, is that you?
Stan: Kyle? Where are you? I, I don't see you.
Kyle: No, I'm not there. I'm at a hospital. I'm hearing you in my imagination.
Stan: ...Oh, that makes sense.

Anchorman: Mike, does the military have the authority to nuke our imagination?
Mike: Uh clearly they don't, Steven, and they're gonna have a big problem because state government has already set a precedent that imaginary characters are real. I cite a famous case of Cartman v. Broflovski in which a U.S. court found for the plaintiff who saw a leprechaun.
Anchorman: Yes, I believe the defendant had to suck the plaintiff's balls in that case.
Mike: That's right, Steven, yeah.

Reporter: Couldn't we trying sending Kurt Russell into a portal to our imagination to try and reason with the-
General: We tried that and Kurt Russell was raped by Christmas Critters!

Aslan: Santa Claus was killed in the terrorist attack. The first thing we need is for you to bring him back.
Butters: How?
Glenda: You just have to focus your mind. Imagine Santa and nothing else.
Butters: How am I supposed to focus with all this crap goin' on?!

Cartman: You just can't declare that imaginary things aren't real! Who are you to say what's real?! Think about it: is blue real? Is love really real?
Scientist 1: Imaginary things are things made up by people, like Santa and Rudolph.
Tom: Yea, and they detract from real things, like Jesus.
Worker: Maybe Jesus is imaginary too.
Tom: Ooh! You better not say that! You'll go to hell!
Scientist 2: It's possible that hell is also imaginary.
Scientist 3: So then, we're about to nuke hell....That's a good thing right?
(Everyone agrees that it is a good thing)
Scientist 1: What if heaven is imaginary? We'd be nuking heaven.
Scientist 2: Yea but it wouldn't be real.
Scientist 4: So it'd be alright.

Secretary of Defense: (to the press) We were hoping to keep this quiet until it was over--but, two days ago, there was a terrorist attack on our imagination. And now our imaginations are running wild.

Stephen: Butters, Butters!
Butters: (wakes up) What? Huh? Oh, it was all just a dream.
Stephen: Come on Butters, time to get up.
Butters: Oh Dad! I had the craziest dream. I-I saved all of Imaginationland from running wild after a terrorist attack.
Stephen: You were in Imaginationland, Butters. We read all about it in the paper. The question is "What were you doing in Imaginationland when you were supposed to be helping your mother clean up the basement?".
Linda: You are grounded mister!
Butters: Awww. (pause) Wait. I'm not grounded.
Stephen: Oh yes, you are!
Butters: Oh yeah? (tries to use his imagination and fails)
Stephen: That only works in Imaginationland. You're grounded.
(Stephen and Linda exit)
Butters: Aw shit.

Secretary Of Defense: Why is it so easy for children to break into the Pentagon?

Cartman: (to photographer) How does that look? Can you see my balls and the sundae in frame?

Cartman: You just rest Kyle. Look what I made for you, a sundae. It has hot fudge, whipped cream and a cherry but I feel like something is missing, don't you Kyle? What else belongs on a sundae besides hot fudge and whipped cream?
Kyle: (grunts)
Cartman: Hot fudge, whipped cream, what else belongs on a sundae Kyle? What else goes on a sundae besides hot fudge, whipped cream, oh that's right... my balls.