South Park

Season 14 Episode 9

It's a Jersey Thing

Aired Wednesday 10:00 PM Oct 13, 2010 on Comedy Central

Episode Recap

Kyle tells his parents that a family has moved in next to the Marshes. The new family is from New Jersey. Sheila wonders if Sharon knows what to expect when you invite a New Jersey housewife into your home. The New Jersey housewife (Theresa) is totally dominating the dinner conversation. Then the New Jersey husband (???) asks Randy where he works out. Everything is going well until in response to an observation by Theresa about the Sharon's big chin, Sharon comments back about the fact that Theresa's eyes are too far apart. Theresa goes off. At Sizzler Stan reports to the guys about his new neighbors and he makes a comment about how after acting life selfish assholes the quip "It's a Jersey Thing." Steve "Last Call" is sitting at a nearby table overhearing this and says that he and his friends are from New Jersey. He calls out in the restaurant to see if there is anyone else there from New Jersey and when a number of them call out, all of a sudden it's "a Jersey party at Sizzler." At the hair salon Sharon runs into the Jersey housewives and she finds herself being put in the middle of their petty disputes. She makes the mistake of saying they are crazy, when they begin attacking her. But Sheila comes to her rescue. She seems to out-Jersey the housewives. Randy in the meantime has called the town together for a meeting to discuss the invasion of Jerseyites. They've taken over everything east of the Rocky Mountains. Randy doesn't want South Park to become "West Jersey". Jimbo says they should just tell the Jerseyites that they aren't like and not wanted there. Sheila warns that is a bad idea, because the Jerseyites will eventually convince themselves that you think they are cool. Jimbo wants to know how she knows that. Sheila confesses to her friends that she was born and raised in New Jersey. Kyle joins the other boys at the basketball court, but Cartman wants to snub him since they found out Kyle's mother is from New Jersey. As far as Cartman's concerned that's strike three for Kyle. Strike one, Kyle's a ginger. Strike two, Kyle's a Jew. Strike three, Kyle's from New Jersey. He's out in Cartman's mind. Looking in the bathroom mirror, Kyle begins to realize something. Slowly he begins to transform himself into someone from Jersey. His mother confesses something to him, you can take the fetus out of Jersey, but you can't take the Jersey out the fetus. He is technically from Jersey, but Kyle decides he can never let anyone know.

On the Jersey News, there is a report about South Park taking on New Jersey. Randy is on the phone, appealing to California governor Schwarzenegger to send troops to help in their fight. Arnold won't help, citing the states that Jersey must still come through to get to his state. The boys are helping in the war effort, but Cartman thinks Kyle might be a spy in their midst. To prove the point that he is not one of them, Kyle starts going somewhat Jersey on Cartman, causing Cartman to cry. Randy's made an appeal to the emperor of Japan and they won't help, Randy tell everyone they're on their own. Randy realizes they might need to turn to their enemies for support. He thinks they should contact Al Qaeda for help, but Chris Stotch notes that the 9/11 victims families feelings matter for at least another ten months. The discussion is interrupted by a guy who reports something strange going on at Skeeter's Bar and Cocktails. They go to investigate and managed to get their flashlights on a strange creature that they've cornered. They know it's from Jersey and one guy identifies it as a "Snooki," which he notes is very famous. Randy wants to know why it's famous, but no one knows why. They try shooting it. The "Snooki" escapes and goes on the run, after making an attempt to dry hump Chris Stotch. Cartman recounts the tale of Kyle attacking him. Cartman is convinces the Jersey in Kyle is coming out. He suggests they capture him and put him in the meat locker at the Sizzler. Somewhere in an Al Qaeda cave, Osama Bin Laden is given a videotape. It is an appeal from Randy Marsh and he warns Bin Laden that eventually New Jersey will even come his way. He includes a copy of the opening credits of MTV's "Jersey Shore".

The boys go into the Sizzler, Cartman wants to show them a miracle. He tries to get Kyle to go first, but Kyle knows what Cartman is up to and he won't do it. It doesn't matter, Cartman springs his surprise, the rest of the boys are already at Sizzler and they grab Kyle and take him to the meat locker. Kyle sees something through the open door of the meat locker, lurking behind Cartman. It's "Snooki." Randy is interrogating "The Situation", who's only response to any of his questions is "It's a Jersey Thing." The Jersey invasion begins and South Park starts to make its stand. The mercilessly start slaughtering the Jerseyites. At the Sizzler, "Snooki" is trying to dry hump Clyde and then starts on Cartman. The boys wonder what to do, eventually Kyle gives in and starts his transformation into something evil. He becomes Kyley-B. He starts going all Jersey on "Snooki" and eventually drives it away. On the war front, they are almost out of ammo and ready to retreat when they hear the sound of jets overhead. It's Al Qaeda and they begin crashing the jets into the Jerseyites. The effort has an impact on the rest of the country, eventually others begin to fight and New Jersey begins to shrink back into the desolate land it once was. Thanks to Osama Bin Laden and Al Qaeda. Cartman tells Kyle that he knows that deep down there is a monster, but he notes that Kyle is his little monster. Osama is on hand to accept the gratitude, which he gets from the people of South Park, but the US government delivers a different reward.