South Park

Season 7 Episode 6

Lil' Crime Stoppers

Aired Wednesday 10:00 PM Apr 23, 2003 on Comedy Central

Episode Recap

The boys offer their services as "junior detectives." Their first case involves a disappearing cherry pie. They quickly resolve the case, but because of the influence of television news, they spin an unusual twist in telling how the crime came to pass. Rather than just the dog getting the pie and eating it for himself, they speculate that the victim's husband had been plotting to kill her to get his hands on the pie. With their first case solved, the boys set up shop as detectives. Kindergarten girl Sarah Peterson comes into their office to report the disappearance of her doll. They begin casing Sarah's room, the possible scene of the crime, when another group of boys enters the room flashing their FBI badges. The FBI takes over jurisdiction of the case. Our boys leave the scene but decide they are going to solve the case anyway, so they start by bringing in everyone for questioning. The first person they grill is Butters. Kenny and Cartman play good cop-bad cop with Butters, who doesn't know anything. Cartman demands that Butters give them a semen sample. Butters tries to comply by pulling on his weiner, but nothing is coming out. A tip comes in about a doll being seen near Fossy's house, and the boys leave, leaving Butters in the bathroom trying to give them a sample. The boys stake out Fossy's house. Cartman tries to send Kyle hand signals, to no avail. They confront Fossy and Flick and are trying to decide how to proceed, when "The FBI" arrives. They take over the scene, but our boys decide they won't be counted out and they enter Fossy's house from the back. Cartman goes "slo-mo" and the boys rescue Sarah Peterson's doll.The boys return the doll and for their efforts are brought to police headquarters for Park County, where they are rewarded for their efforts by Lt. Dawson. They are made real "junior detectives." Now that they are a real part of the squad, he gives them their first assignment, to break up a meth lab. Despite knowing what a meth lab really is (or what danger they really might be in) the boys go to the address of the meth lab. Through a fortunate series of events, the men running the meth lab all meet their fate via gunfire, real fire, and traffic and plane accidents. Back at County police headquarters, the boys are reprimanded by Lt. Dawson for their handling of the case. The boys apologize for not leaving any witnesses alive. The boys go to the showers, where the other Park County detectives try to dress these new hot shot detectives down. Some of the detectives (Murphy and Jenkins) ask them if they'd taken a little off the top, when they took the meth lab down. Of course our boys are clueless as to what they meant by that comment. In the showers, Kyle and Cartman wonder if they shouldn't just go back to playing "Laundromat owners," Stan tells them they can go back if they want, but he wants his playtime to mean something to him. At the Cartman home, Eric returns home and finds that Butters is still there trying to give his semen sample. Cartman tells him to keep trying. At school the next day, Mr. Garrison is trying to teach the children about the feminist movement of the 1960s, while our boys are falling asleep. Lt. Dawson interrupts the boys' nap time and brings them to his office, where he tells them that the meth lab was just the "tip of the iceberg." A paper trail from the meth lab leads to a strip club, where Lt. Dawson is going to send the boys in undercover. Kyle is more interested in doing his homework. The boys are leaving the office, when two of their fellow detectives want to know if the Lt. knows about their "bonus money." The boys still don't really know what those detectives are talking about and say as much, but the detectives don't believe them. And when the boys are out of ear shot, comment about the boys "They're lying. They're dead."The boys arrive at the strip club, and they tell the bouncer that they know the owner. They are brought before the owner, who doesn't know them. The owner invites them to join their family. One of the criminals recognizes them for being cops. The gunfire begins, with the criminals using real bullets and our boys using their fingers. The boys' backup arrives on the scene and detectives Murphy and Jenkins are exposed for their interest in the meth lab. Det. Hopkins comes to the boy's aid. Outside the strip club, the real FBI has arrived on the scene to take over. Inside Murphy and Jenkins get the upper hand and decide to cut out the meth lab boss and take 100% of the profits. Then Murphy takes out Jenkins and then himself. The day has been saved and despite the boys unorthodox methods, Lt. Dawson plans on making them full detectives. Stan decides he has a better idea, and they go back to playing "Laundromat Owners" in Cartman's basement. Butters arrives with his semen sample, after pounding on his weiner for 2 straight days. Thinking about the boobs of Stan's mom did the trick for him.
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