South Park Season 9 Episode 9

(The boys have a dead pig disguised as Butters, ready to fake Butters' death by throwing it from the top of the building.)
Cartman: Okay, ready! Step down, Butters.
(Butters is seen stepping down from the edge of the building.)
Linda: H-He's stepping down! Oh thank God!
Officer: No, no wait. What's he doing?
(The dead pig is seen approaching back on the edge as the boys are trying to push it over.)
Cartman: Okay. One, two…
Officer: JESUS CHRIST!!
(The dead pig is thrown off the building and splatters all over the ground and the audience.)
Linda: OOOOHHHHH MY GOOODDD!!!!!
(The doctor approaches to the splattered pig and checks its "pulse".)
Doctor: He…didn't make it.
Linda: NO!! NOOOO!!! MY SON IS DEAD!!! NOOOOO!!!
Cartman: (watching the whole scene) Nice.

(Butters' dad kills a woman and pushes the corpse over to his son)
Chris Stotch: Here you go, son. Eat!
Linda Stotch: What are we becoming?
Chris Stotch: Come on. Don't watch it feed. (they walk upstairs)
Butters: (tied up in basement) Can't I just have some Spaghetti-O's?

Butters: (tied up in basement) Can I please just have somethin' to eat? Well, I'm pretty hungry.
Linda: It's… hungry.
Chris: Yes. It must feed.

Butters: (tied up in basement) Mom, Dad, can I come upstairs now?
Chris: Sorry, son, but you're a demon spawn now. You're an abomination.

Cartman: Let's just start with something simple. (to the paper fortune teller) Will Kyle die before he's 20?
Kyle: Wait! I don't wanna know that!
Clyde: Ask it if the Broncos are gonna win on Sunday.
Jason: No, dude, then it won't be fun to watch!
Cartman: Will you all just shut up so I can do this?
Craig: You shut up, asshole!
Kyle: I don't wanna know when I'm going to die, fatass!
(the boys start arguing)

Cartman: (having the paper fortune teller) We have the device now! The power belongs to us! (runs away with the other boys)
Heidi: (to girls) Anybody have a piece of notebook paper so I can make another one?

(phone conversation)
Cartman: Butters! Just what the fuck do you think you're doing?
Butters: Well, I'm just havin' some fun with my girlfriends.
Cartman: You aren't there to have fun, you black asshole! You were supposed to be getting the future-telling device.
Butters: Well, I'm workin' on it!
Cartman: Working on what? Your dance moves?
Butters: Now look! I'm getting pretty sick of this! Well I put myself through a lot, and you can't talk to me like that (notices Heidi's parents), uh, mom.
Cartman: Just do what you were sent in there to do, dickface! (hangs up)

Heidi: Marjorine? Marjorine? Hey, we didn't mean it.
Butters: (as Marjorine; crying) You don't know how hard it is to be me.
Bebe: Marjorine, we were just teasing. We think you're great.
Butters: (as Marjorine) You think I'm ugly!
Wendy: You're not ugly, Marjorine.
Butters: (as Marjorine) You said I'm ugly and I'm flat!

Chris: (while digging up his "son's" dead body) Oh, Butters… smell like… bacon.

Butters: (as Marjorine after watching the girls play Light as a Feather, Stiff as a Board) Witches! You're all witches!
Heidi: Marjorine, what is your problem?
Butters: (as Marjorine) Huh? Oh nothin'. Hey, you guys wanna tell each other's futures now?
Girl: Yeah. I can tell you your future, Marjorine! You're going to live alone your entire life because you're a nerdy dorky geed!
Heidi: Yeah, and your hair is totally stupid! (Butters looks sad)
Bebe: Yeah, and you're flat! (Butters looks down at his chest)
Heidi: Marjorine, why don't you just leave? Nobody wants you here!

Wendy: I know. Let's do "Light as a Feather, Stiff as a Board". Who wants to go first?
Girl: I will.
Butters: (as Marjorine) Oh geez, are we gonna start lezzing out?

Cartman: Remember Butters, you must get that future-telling device from the girls at all costs! And just roll with it if they start lezzing out.

Heidi's Mom: Heidi, there's going to be one extra girl comng to your slumber party.
Heidi: Who?
Heidi's Mom: The new girl in your class, Marjorine.
Heidi: Mom, I didn't invite her!
Heidi's Mom: I know, sweetie, but I got a call from Marjorine's mother.
Heidi: Her mother?
Heidi's Mom: She said Marjorine is having a really hard time being in a new school. Her mom asked me personally if we could have Marjorine over, and besides, her mother told me that she works as a state official and that I should (thinks) respect her authroitay.

Girl: Where do you buy your clothes?
Butters: (as Marjorine) Oh, um, you know. Girl places.

Butters: (as Marjorine) Well, I'm just a typical little girl. I like dancin', an', and ponies, and getting my snootch pounded on Friday night.
Clyde: Nice.
Ms. Garrison: Now Marjorine, that's not very lady-like. Us Colorado girls love to get pounded in the shnizz just like any woman, but we keep it to ourselves.

Ms. Garrison: Okay children, let's take our seats. Now I know that we're all still in deep, deep mourning over the tragic death of our classmate, Butters.
Red: Who's Butters?

Fr. Maxi: And he shall be remembered as the peaceful little boy who warmed his parent's hearts. Lord, as we commit this child's body to the Earth, may we ask it be the last child you strike down so mercilessly. We know this request to be futile, Lord, but just thought we would ask.

Chris: (trying to stop Butters from committing suicide) Butters? Butters, whatever is troubling you, this isn't the answer! Look at all these people who've come out for you! Just come down now, son, and we promise we won't ground you for more than a couple of weeks.

Cartman: One of us is gonna have to go undercover, show up in school tomorrow disguised as the new girl who just moved to town.
Kevin: You mean like that movie, "Juwanna Mann"?
Cartman: No, not like "Juwanna Mann", Kevin, okay? It's way cooler than that!

Kyle: (about the paper fortune teller) The outside of the device seems to be covered in numerals. Inside are colors, which must open up some sort of temporal timewall.

Cartman: I warn you, these images may be too shocking for young children.
Butters: Oh okay, I'm not lookin'.

Kyle: The girls do not have a device that shows them the future, Cartman! That's retarded!
Clyde: (in an English accent) You, sir, mocked Cartman before, yet you too sit here demanding answers! Now, damn you, let him speak!
(pause)
Cartman: Thank you, Clyde.

Cartman: Now, Butters, we don't know exactly what it is girls do at slumber parties, but if they all start, you know, lezzing out, just roll with it.
Butters: Lezzing out? What's lezzing out?