Doctor: Well, there's no doubt in my mind Mr. Marsh. You are constipated.
Randy: Thanks for the news flash, I haven't taken a crap in over 3 weeks. The question is why?
Doctor: Well what food have you been eating?
Randy: P.F. Changs mostly, good stuff.
Doctor: I'm going to prescribe a laxative. But I must warn you. When you do finally pass this stool, it might be very painful.
Randy: How painful is painful?
(Cuts to Randy on toilet)