South Park

Season 3 Episode 15

Mr. Hankey's Christmas Classics

Aired Wednesday 10:00 PM Dec 01, 1999 on Comedy Central
out of 10
User Rating
260 votes

By Users

Episode Summary

Mr. Hankey hosts a collection of ten vignettes featuring the cast of "South Park" performing Christmas songs. Included are new interpretations of classic songs, and two entirely new songs: "Christmastime In Hell" by Satan and "Merry F**king Christmas" by Mr. Garrison. One of the vignettes is a lounge act by Jesus and Santa Claus, singing songs about themselves.moreless

Who was the Episode MVP ?

  • Amazing Episode !!!

    I remember watching this episode many many years ago (was very young), I never thought anything of it. I watched it there just again and WOW!!!! Classic, very very good overall.

    Out of all the episodes I have watched of South Park (which I have wanted every single one over the last 14 years 8 times+ this episode has to be in the top ten.

    ! 10/10, Great. Classic, also very true the songs and overall great!!!moreless
  • a Poor South Park Holiday episode.

    Mr.Hanky's Chirstmas Classics episode is a musical episode. The songs on this episode is taken from south park’s Christmas CD. There is only one good song/video sequence on this episode. The only good one is Merry F***ing Christmas. This episode could be called the weakest episode in the entire series. It is the weakest Christmas episode for sure and also the weakest episode in season three also. None of the songs are funny either except the one I mentioned. This episode is the bottom of the barrel for Southpark. Don't waste your time watching this piece of garbage, the CD failed and so does this episode.moreless
  • The spirit of christmas is dieing and Stan and gang wants it back. Except for Kenny who dies.......... So they team up with Mr Hankey and his kids and his drunk wife who wants to strip.moreless

    Oh No!!!!!!! The spirit of Christmas is dieing and who is there to rescue? MR. HANKEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!of course. So as people start forgetting Christmas Stan and the guys make a short anime film where they try and teach people that its not about the love and kindness or anything like that. It's really about the presents!!! They play around with the idea of the idea that there is no point of christmas............ exce[t for presents of course. So I think that even though it wasn't the greatsest or most e[ic episode, I still think that it is a very good episoede.moreless
  • I don't think I'll ever rate another episode this highly. 100th review!

    My god! How close do you want to get to a perfect episode? I was in hysterics for the whole episode, except for the Jesus/Santa duet part, that's why this episode didn't get a ten. The Mr. Hankey song at the start was a great introduction and the dradle song has been on my personal playlist for years. Hitler's Ein Tannenbaum song was touching, showing that even evil masterminds can celebrate Christmas. The three funniest things in this episode were Christmas Time in Hell, little Hitler nailing the jew with a snowball and Cartman's version of 'O Holy Night'. If there's ever an episode better than this, it'll be getting a 10.moreless
  • This episode was made in memory of Mary Kay Bergman, whose bipolar disorder caused the death of her.

    Most of this episode was trash. I hate that piece of crap (literally!) Mr. Hankey and I hate the episodes that make jokes of God, Jesus, and Satan, but this one was different. I thought it was nice to see Matt Stone and Trey Parker deticate this episode to the woman who could do over 20 voices: Mary Kay Bergman. Those flashbacks at the end were so sweet, and I feel so bad that she commited suicide. So anyways, I give this episode a good score (which I rarely do on any show) not because of the clever plot, but because it was deticated Mary Kay Bergman, a wonderful voice actress, who died way before her time.moreless
Trey Parker

Trey Parker

Voice of Stan Marsh; Eric Theodore Cartman; Herbert Garrison; Officer Barbrady; Terrance; Timmy; Ned Gerblanski; Satan; Randy Ma

Matt Stone

Matt Stone

Voice of Kyle Broflovski; Kenny McKormick; Gerald Broflovski; Pip Pirrup; Jesus; Jimbo Kearn; Phillip; Saddam; Various Others

Mary Kay Bergman

Mary Kay Bergman

Voice of Wendy Testaburger; Liane Cartman; Sheila Broflovski; Sharon Marsh; Mrs. McKormick; Mayor McDaniels; Ms. Crabtree; Princ

Isaac Hayes

Isaac Hayes

Voice of Jerome "Chef" McElroy

Trivia, Notes, Quotes and Allusions


  • TRIVIA (7)

    • This is the second time that Cartman sang "Oh, Holy Night" without the shock therapy.

    • In Response to: "I know it was probably all part of the song Mr. Garrison sang, but christmas is celebrated in Japan."

      He sings: "In Japan everyone lives in sin." and "On christmas morning all they do is eat a cake." Meaning he's telling the Japanese people that they REALLY have to celebrate.

    • I know it was probably all part of the song Mr. Garrison sang, but Christmas is celebrated in Japan.

    • Remember: In the movie, when Saddam Hussein is singing "I Can Change", he discusses his childhood, and what he looked like as an infant was just his same picture of his head, just has a tinier body. get the picture...

    • On this whole subject, in "Pink Eye," Trey and Matt weren't doing live-action heads as characters at the time. The first time they did it was in "Tom's Rhinoplasty." So, Hitler in that ep was animated. In this episode, the answer is probably because they couldn't find a picture of Hitler as a kid.

    • in "Pink Eye", Hitler had a cartoon face, so actually that could count as a goof.

    • How come adult Hitler had a real-life face but kid Hitler had a cartoon face?

  • QUOTES (11)

    • Santa: Ok Jesus, here's one you might remember. (begins singing Duran Duran's "Rio") Her name is Rio and she dances on the sand. Just like that river twistin' through the dusty land.
      Jesus: Uh. Santa, Santa, Santa, that's not a Christmas song.
      Santa: I know, but there's, like, 300 Jesus Christmas songs and only four f***ing Santa ones!

    • (Shelly is trying to sing "I Saw Three Ships" but Stan and Kyle keep laughing at her.)
      Shelly: (singing) Shelly is starting to get pissed, on Christmas Day, on Christmas Day. Shelly got up and killed the turds on Christmas day in the morning!

    • The Mr. Hankey Song:

      We've all heard of Rudolph and his shiny nose
      And we all know Frosty who's made out of snow
      But all of those stories seem kind of gay
      Cause we all know who brightens up our holiday

      Mr. Hankey, The Christmas Poo
      Small and brown, he comes from you
      Sit on the toilet, here he comes
      Squeeze in between your festive buns
      A present from down below
      Spreading joy with a "Howdy Ho"
      He's seen the love inside of you
      Cause he's a piece of poo

      Sometimes he's nutty
      Sometimes he's corny
      He can be brown or greenish brown
      But if you eat fiber on Christmas Eve
      He might come to your town
      Mr. Hankey, The Christmas Poo
      He loves me, I love you
      therefore vicariously he loves you
      Kid: I can make a Mr. Hankey too!

      Mr. Hankey: Howdy ho!
      I'm Mr. Hankey, the Christmas Poo
      Season's greetings to all of you
      Let's sing songs and dance and play
      Now before I melt away
      Here's a game I like to play
      Stick me in your mouth and try to say
      "Howdy ho ho, yum yum yum
      Christmas Time has come"

      Sometimes he's runny
      Sometimes he's perfect
      Sometimes he's practically water
      Sometimes he hangs off the end of your ass
      And won't fall in the toilet
      Cause he's just clinging to your sphincter
      And he won't drop off
      So you shake your ass around trying to get it to drop in the toilet and finally it does

      Mr. Hankey, The Christmas Poo
      When Christmas leaves, he must leave too
      Flush him down, but he's never gone
      His smell and spirit linger on

    • Carol of the Bells song:
      MR. MACKEY: Uh, Hark! hear the bells
      Sweet silver bells
      All seem to say,
      "Ding Dong Mmmkay."
      Christmas is here
      Bringing good cheer
      To young and old
      Meek and the bold
      Ding, dong, ding, dong
      That is their song
      With joyful ring (mmmkay)
      All caroling
      One seems to hear
      Words of good cheer
      From everywhere
      Filling the air (mmmkay)
      O, how they pound
      Raising their sound
      Or' Here and There
      Telling their Tail
      Gaily they ring
      While people sing (mmmkay)
      Songs of good cheer (mmmkay)
      Christmas is here
      Merry, merry, merry, merry Christmas
      Merry, merry, merry, merry Christmas
      On, on they send
      On without end
      Their joyful tone
      To every home (mmmkay)
      Hark! Hear the bells
      Sweet silver bells
      All seem to say,
      "Ding Dong Mmmkay."
      On, on they send (mmmkay)
      On without end
      Their joyful tone (mmmkay)
      To every home
      Ding dong ding dong .. mmmkay

    • Satan: Well I tell you what,
      Maybe we'll have ourselves a little Christmas, right here.
      C'mon everyone, gather `round!

      Christmas Time in Hell lyrics - sung primarily by Satan

      String up the lights and light up the tree.
      We're going to make some revelry!
      Spirits are high, so I can tell,
      It's Christmas time in hell!

      Demons are nicer as you pass them by.
      There's lots of demon toys to buy.
      The snow is falling, and all is well
      It's Christmas time in hell!

      There goes Jeffery Dahmer, with a festive Christmas ham.
      After he has sex with, it he'll eat up all he can.
      And there goes John F. Kennedy caroling with his son.
      Reunited for the holidays.
      God bless us, everyone!

      Everybody has a happy glow!
      Let's dance in blood and pretend it's snow.
      Even Mao Tse-Tung is under the spell.
      It's Christmas time in hell!

      Adolf, here's a present for you.
      Hitler: Oh? Ein Tannenbaum!
      Satan: Yes, Ein Tannenbaum!

      God cast me down from Heaven's door,
      To rule in hell for evermore.
      But now I'm kinda glad that I fell,
      'Cause it's Christmas time in hell!

      Here's a rack to hang the stockings on,
      We still have to shop for Genghis Kahn!
      Michael Landon's hair looks swell!
      It's Christmas time in hell!

      There's Princess Diana holding burning mistletoe,
      Over poor Gene Siskel's head; just watch his weenie grow!
      For one day we all stop burning and the flames are not so thick.
      All the screaming and the torture stops, as we wait for old Saint Nick!
      String up the lights and light up the tree.
      We're damned for all eternity.
      But for just one day all is well,
      It's Christmas time in hell!

      Gather close together, and make it quick!
      We've gotta make room for Andy Dick.
      Wake his mother and ring the bell,
      It's Christmas time...
      (Christmas time... Christmas time... Christmas time...)
      Christmas time...
      (Christmas time... Christmas time... Christmas time...)
      It's Christmas time in hell!

      George Bailey: (walking by) Merry Christmas Movie House!

    • Merry F(beep)king Christmas song:
      MR. GARRISON: I heard there is no Christmas,
      In the silly Middle East.
      No trees, no snow, no Santa Claus,
      They have different religious beliefs.
      They believe in Muhammad,
      And not in our holiday,
      And so every December,
      I go to the Middle East and say,
      "Hey there Mr. Muslim,
      Merry f(beep)king Christmas,
      Put down that book the Koran,
      And hear some holiday wishes.
      In case you haven't noticed,
      It's Jesus's birthday.
      So get off your heathen Muslim ass,
      and f(beep)king celebrate."
      There is no holiday season in India I've heard,
      They don't hang up their stockings,
      And that is just absurd!
      They've never read a Christmas story.
      They don't know what Rudolph is about,
      And that is why in December,
      I'll go to India and shout,
      "Hey there Mr. Hinduist,
      Merry f(beep)king Christmas,
      Drink eggnog and eat some beef
      And pass it to the missus.
      In case you haven't noticed,
      It's Jesus's birthday.
      So get off your heathen Hindu ass,
      and f(beep)king celebrate!"
      Now I heard that in Japan,
      Everyone just lives in sin,
      They pray to several gods,
      And put needles in their skin.
      On December 25th,
      All they do is eat a cake.
      And that is why I go to Japan,
      And walk around and say,
      "Hey there Mr. Shintoist,
      Merry f(beep)king Christmas,
      God is going to kick your ass,
      You infidelic pagan scum.
      In case you haven't noticed,
      There's festive things to do,
      So lets all rejoice for Jesus,
      And Merry f(beep)king Christmas to you."
      On Christmas day I travel `round the world and say,
      "Taoists, Krishnas, Buddhists, and all you atheists too,
      Merry F(beep)king Christmas, To You!"
      Thank you, Mr. Hat.

    • The Dreidel Song:
      KYLE: Ok, Ike, you're my little brother, so I have to teach you how to celebrate Hannukah. This is called a dreidel, and you spin it around and sing this song: I have a little dreidel, I made it out of clay, and when it's dry and ready, with dreidel I shall play. Oh, dreidel dreidel dreidel, I made you out of clay, dreidel dreidel dreidel, with dreidel I shall play.
      CARTMAN: Hey, what the hell are you doing?
      KYLE: Oh, hey Cartman! We're playing dreidel, you wanna try?
      CARTMAN: Sure! (Singing:) Here's a little dreidel, that's small and made of clay, but I'm not gonna play with it 'cuz dreidel's freaking gay!
      KYLE: Hey! Shut your mouth fatass!
      CARTMAN: stupid games......Jews.....that's why they're lame!
      KYLE: Dreidel dreidel dreidel, I made you out of clay, dreidel dreidel dreidel, with dreidel I shall play.
      STAN: Hey, whatcha doing? Oh, that Hannukah thing.
      CARTMAN: It's SO amazing, you spin this little thing on the ground and it goes 'round and 'round, I could watch it all day.
      STAN: Here, let me try (singing:) I'll try to make it spin, it fell, I'll try again.
      (Stan repeats and Kyle starts singing at the same time as Stan's repeat.)
      KYLE: Dreidel dreidel dreidel, I made you out of clay, dreidel dreidel dreidel, with dreidel I shall play.
      (Now Cartman starts singing with them)
      CARTMAN: stupid games......Jews..........that's why they're lame!
      SHEILA: Hello, boys.
      KYLE: Hi, mom!
      SHEILA: Oh, you're all playing dreidel, how precious. You know, dreidel's a time-honored tradition to the Hebrew culture.
      CARTMAN: Yes, we know Ms. Broflovski, it's so very interesting.
      KYLE's MOM: (singing:) Now when you learn to make the dreidel spin, you know our people always win, keep spinning. (She repeats, Cartman starts again)
      CARTMAN: stupid games.......Jews.......that's why they're lame!
      KYLE: Oh, hi dad!
      GERALD: Hello everybody, say, can I join in?
      KYLE: Sure! (singing:) I have a little dreidel, that's small and made of clay, and when it's dry and ready with dreidel I shall- everybody!
      (The next part is all sang at the same time)
      KYLE: Dreidel dreidel dreidel, I made you out of clay, dreidel dreidel dreidel, with dreidel I shall play.
      STAN: I'll try to make it spin, it fell, ill try again.
      SHEILA: Now when you learn to make the dreidel spin, you know our people always win keep spinning.
      CARTMAN: stupid games........Jews that's why they're lame!
      GERALD: Courtney Cox, I love you, you're so hot on that show.
      (Everyone stops singing except Kyle's Dad)
      GERALD: Courtney Cox, I love you, you're so hot on that show.
      KYLE: Dad, we're singing about a dreidel.
      GERALD: Oh.....sorry
      SHEILA: We'll talk about this later Gerald!
      (The next part is all sang at the same time)
      STAN: I'll try to make it spin, it fell, I'll try again.
      SHEILA: Now when you learn to make the dreidel spin, you know our people always win keep spinning.
      CARTMAN: stupid games........Jews that's why they're lame!
      GERALD: Courtney Cox, I love you, you're so hot on that show.
      KYLE: Dreidel dreidel dreidel, I made you out of clay, dreidel dreidel dreidel...
      EVERYONE: ...with dreidel I shall play!!!!!

    • Satan: Hey Hitler, what's wrong little guy?

    • Cartman's Oh Holy night:

      Cartman: And, O holy night! The stars are brightly shining,
      It is the night of our dear Savior's b-b-b-birth.
      O holy night! The something something distant
      It is the night with the Christmas trees and pie.
      Jesus was born and so I get presents.
      Thank you, Jesus for being born.
      On your knees!
      (On your knees)
      And, hear
      (Can't you heaaar)
      The angel's... something
      O night
      (O night!)
      The night when I get presents;
      O night
      (O night!)
      Beeef-caaakkkeee, O night;
      O night devine!
      Ehh.. chmm

    • Mr Hankey's Have Yourself a Merry Christmas

      Mr. Hankey: Well, I guess that's about the end of my Christmas album. Gosh, it was sure nice hanging
      out with y'all again! And I guess if there's just one thing I have left to say, it would be this:
      Have yourself a merry little Christmas.
      Let your heart be light.
      From now on, our troubles will be out of sight.
      Have yourself a merry little Christmas.
      Make the yuletide gay.
      From now on, our troubles will be miles away.
      All: Here we are, as in olden days,
      Happy golden days of yore.
      Faithful friends who are dear to us
      Gather near to us once more.
      Boys: Through the years, we all will be together,
      If the fates allow.
      Mr. Hankey: Hang a shining star upon the highest bough,
      All: And have yourself a merry little Christmas now.
      Cartman: Time to go, Mr. Hankey.
      Mr. Hankey: Good-bye, everybody!
      And Merry Christmas!!
      Kyle: Bye, Mr. Hankey. See you next year.

    • Jesus: Oh, come on Santa you can't leave.
      Santa: No, f(beep) you Jesus!

  • NOTES (7)

    • During Mr. Garrison's song, a bulletin board titled "Our Pets" has a picture of a 'visitor' tacked to it. The visitors, case you don't know, are the gray aliens featured in the first episode that make tiny cameos throughout the series.

    • Most of the characters shown at the end of the episode that were women were played by the same woman, Mary Kay Bergman who died just a month before this episode aired.

    • One musical number from this episode, the Jesus-Santa duet, does not appear on the CD. This was because Matt and Trey were unable to clear the rights to some of the songs in time for the CD's scheduled release.

    • Also, in the Dreidle Song when Cartman says " 'Cuz dreidles freaking gay" in the CD he says " 'Cuz dreidles
      f(beeb)in' gay" only they dont bleep it out and you can hear the swear

    • Some of the songs were actually longer on the CD,
      For example, in "Dreidel, Dreidel, Dreidel", first Kyle sings, and then on the cd, Ike sings, then Cartman appears.
      In the episode, when Kyle stops singing, you can see Ike hold the dreidel, as if he would have held it when he sang.

    • The end credits for this episode actually featured the newsman in a boxing ring "fighting the frizzies". Trey Parker played the newsman and Tom Vogt played the "Frizzie" and was given a "Special Thanks" credit for his appearance.

    • More songs are available on the album "Mr. Hankey's Christmas Classics".


    • Claymation Christmas
      The "Carol of the Bells" sequence that Mr. Mackey sings is a clear parody of the "Carol of the Bells" sequence from Claymation Christmas. He is even dressed like a bell to show it.

    • Santa Claus is Coming to Town (1970)
      The postman character singing the first song, "Mr. Hankey the Christmas Poo," bares a striking resemblance to postman SD Kruger from the TV special "Santa Claus is Coming to Town."

    • It's a Wonderful Life
      At the end of "Christmas Time in Hell," a man runs by the screen shouting, "Merry Christmas, movie house!" The man in question is Jimmy Stewart; he is shouting a line from his famous holiday film, It's a Wonderful Life.

    • Newsman: Fighting the frizzies at eleven.

      The "fighting the frizzies" newsman is a reference to the 1978 Star Wars Holiday Special. The only widespread copy of the special was taped with all commercials intact and a local TV station news teaser with a newscaster saying "fighting the frizzies at eleven" came at the end of commercial breaks.