South Park

Season 5 Episode 7

Proper Condom Use

Aired Wednesday 10:00 PM Aug 01, 2001 on Comedy Central

Episode Recap

Cartman (who learned it from the 5th graders) shows Stan and Kyle how to beat-off a dog, while uttering the phrase "Red Rocket." Stan thinks it is so cool he wants to show his parents. His parents as well as their guests get to see the show. Stan gets grounded and his parents try to explain to him why what he did was wrong. Frustrated that they don't know how to speak to their children about sex, the parents of South Park demand that their children get taught sexual education at school. Mr. Mackey, who can't remember how to have sex, tries to teach the boys. Ms. Choksondik teaches the girls about STDs (Sexually Transmitted Diseases) and she scares the girls. The girls are so scared that they demand that the boys wear condoms, before they will even talk to them.
So the boys go to the pharmacy to purchase condoms. Mr. Mackey and Ms. Choksondik discuss their lesson plan and their own sexual inadequacies. Now that the boys have condoms, they try to figure out how to wear them. When the faculty believes that the fourth graders have become sexually active, due to the condom purchase, they decide they must educate the lower grades. Chef thinks it's ridiculous. So Mr. Garrison begins teaching his kindergarten students how to put on a condom. Ms. Choksondik teaches the girls about the worst STD of all, pregnancy. While seeing a film showing childbirth, the girls now absolutely scared out of their minds run out of the oom. Ms. Choksondik spots Mr. Mackey in the hallway and looks at his ass, wondering.
The boys finally learn from Mr. Mackey that they can only get an STD from having intercourse with the girls; they don't need to be wearing condoms all the time. Angry at the girls, they go to get rid of them. Mr. Mackey begins thinking about Ms. Choksondik as Mr. Garrison moves his kindergarten students on to their next lesson, which is listing the names of the various sexual positions. The boys find the girls locked up in a stronghold, that looks very much like the stronghold in the "The Road Warrior." From that same movie, Butters tells the girls "to just walk away." Mr. Mackey and Ms. Choksondik discuss their next lesson plan, but they are distracted by each other and they get it on. Meanwhile the boys and girls are fighting and there are numerous explosions which gets everyone's attention.
In the aftermath, the children and their parents learn the obligatory lesson from Chef, who sums it all up quite nicely. Sex is something you be learning about from your parents and that you are ready to have sex when you are 17.
Kenny dies when a boomerang thrown by Bebe hits him in a sequence taken from "The Road Warrior."