Voice of Stan Marsh; Eric Theodore Cartman; Herbert Garrison; Officer Barbrady; Terrance; Timmy; Ned Gerblanski; Satan; Randy Ma
Voice of Kyle Broflovski; Kenny McKormick; Gerald Broflovski; Pip Pirrup; Jesus; Jimbo Kearn; Phillip; Saddam; Various Others
Voice of Jerome "Chef" McElroy
Voice of Mayor McDaniels; Liane Cartman; Mrs. McKormick; Wendy Testaburger; Shelly Marsh; Sharon Marsh; Various Others
Voice of Sheila Broflovski; Linda Stotch; Various Others
Voice of Unknown
Voice of Unknown
When the Rob Schneider trailers play, they are giving PG-13 ratings followed by a "Parental Guidance Suggested" tag. However, that's the tag for the PG rating. The PG-13 tag should read "Parents Strongly Cautioned."
Visitor Sighting: An alien is seen when Chef speaks out at the Passing Over show. It is right between him and Liane Cartman standing up.
Why would Chef's parents use dollars they live in Scotland where they use Pounds Sterling? Chef's mom clearly throws dollar bills out of the window.
When Stan did his spirit reading for a second time before an audience, he says that "they"(the spirits) want him to acknowledge Pete or Peter, but did not say Peter was dead, however, a person in the crowd says he did.
Stan: Look, my friend Kyle won't fly back home to Colorado. All I need you to do is talk to him and tell him, ya know, that the whole talking to dead people isn't real.
John Edward: Maybe it is for real.
Stan: Right, but it's not. It's a trick you do, and I need you to just let my friend Kyle know that so that he can go on with his life.
John Edward: Look. People have the right to be skeptical. I really hear voices in my head.
Stan: Yes. We all hear voices in our heads. It's called intuition. Get over yourself and tell my friend it's just for fun.
John Edward: Look. What I do doesn't hurt anybody. I give people closure and help them cope with life.
Stan: No, you give them false hope and a belief in something that isn't real.
John Edward: But I'm a psychic.
Stan: No dude, your a douche.
John Edward: I'm not a douche. What if I really believe that dead people talk to me?
Stan: Then you're a stupid douche.
John Edward: I think that I have had enough of your bullying me. Get out of my house or I'll run upstairs, lock myself in my panic room, and call the police.
Stan: I'm 9 years old.
John Edward: (screaming) I'm not talking to your friend and I'm not a douche. (runs upstairs) You better get out of my house or I'll call the police.
Stan: You are so a douche. I'm nominating you for the biggest douche in the universe award. You douche.
Chef's Dad: The spirit's headin' into the light! Unfortunately, it's the livin' room right.
Doctor: (About to operate on Cartman) Get me 50cc's of Ketamine, stat! And we should probably get something for the kid, too.
John Edward: Doesn't work that way!
Stan: Um, we have a dead friend…
John Edward: It doesn't work that way. So I 'm getting a P, a puh, puh, …
Kyle: Well, like we said we didn't know whether or not we should care!
Chef: Well you should! Cartman is your friend whether you like him or not.
Lyrics to the song at the Biggest Douche in the Universe Awards:
Here he is,
The biggest douche of the universe.
In all the galaxies,
There's no bigger douche than you.
You've reached the top,
The pinnacle of douchedom.
Good goin' douche.
Your dream has come true.
Chef's Mom: Don't let it get on the curtain!
John Edward: Alright, asshole! I know you're here to try to throw me off, so go ahead. Give my yoru best shot!
Stan: No, I don't wanna talk to you. I wanna talk to the audience.
John Edward: W-why?
Stan: You see, I learned something today. At first I thought you were all stupid, listening to this douche's advice, but now I understand that you're all here because you're scared. You're scared of death and he offers you some kind of understanding. You all want to believe in it so much, I know you do. You find comfort in the thought that your loved ones are floating around trying to talk to you, but think about it: Is that really what you want? To just be floating around after you die, having to talk to this asshole? We need to recognize this stuff for what it is - magic tricks. Because whatever's really going on in life and in death is much more amazing than this douche.
Stan: I am saying this to you, John Edward. You are a liar, you are a fake, and you are the biggest douche ever.
John Edward: Everything I tell people is positive and gives them hope. How does that make me a douche?
Stan: Because the big questions in life are tough - Why are we here, where are we from, where are we going. But if people believe in asshole douchey liars like you, we're never going to find the real answers to those questions. You aren't just lying, you are slowing down the progress of all mankind. You douche.
Announcer: Rob Schneider derp de derp. Derp de derpity derpy derp! Until one day, the derpa derpa derpaderp. Derp de derp da teedily dumb! From the creators of "Der" and "Tum Ta Tittaly Tum Ta Too", Rob Schneider is "Da Derp Dee Derp Da Teetley Derpee Derpee Dumb"! Rated PG-13.
John Edward: Listen, kid! If you call me a fake, a liar or a douche, I'm gonna sue you for slander!
Stan: I am saying this to you, John Edward. You are a liar. You are a fake. You are a douche.
Cartman: Hey you guys! How's it goin'?
Stan: No, that's Kenny.
Cartman: What the hell are you assholes doing here?
Stan: That's Cartman.
Announcer: Rob Schneider is a Wall Street executive with everything going for him. Only problem is, he's about to become a carrot!
Rob Schneider: I'm a carrot!
Announcer: It's 24-carrot comedy. Rob Schneider is a "Carrot"! Rated PG-13.
Cartman: Oh, for the love of Christ... (Kenny talks) I want to watch, fat boy! (normal) No Kenny, it's not funny!
Announcer: Rob Shneider was an animal. Then he was a woman. And now Rob Schneider is a stapler! And he's about to find out that being a stapler is harder than it looks. Rob Schneider is "The Stapler"! Rated PG-13.
Stan & Kyle: Weak! (Cartman laughs at the movie)
Cartman: That was Kenny laughing, not me.
Announcer: Rob Schneider is a somewhat popular comedic actor who seemed to have it all, until one day, he came across a pot roast, and his life changed forever. Now he's sharing his body with an 8 year old boy. And he's about to find out that being 8, ain't so great. Rob Schneider is "Kenny"! Rated PG-13.
Chef's Mom: Oh Lord, they didn't bring a victim child.
Chef: Where were we gonna find a child to sacrifice?
Chef's Mom: We weren't gonna ask you where you got it from.
(John Edward is taken to the Biggest Douche in the Universe Awards)
Stan: Now do you people believe me?
Man: Well, I don't know. How did Edward know my father died in March?
Liane: Doctor! Did you find out what's wrong with him?
Doctor: I'm afraid he's running out of time.
Liane: Why? What's wrong with him?
Doctor: It's his time. It's running out.
Liane: Well what does he need?
Doctor: He needs to have more time.
Liane: What can we do?
Doctor: Well, I suppose we could try a time transplant. I'll have to call in a specialist.
Books in John Edward's apartment:
- HOW TO BE A PSYCHIC!
- COLD READING: THE TRICK OF THE PSYCHIC!
- Make Women Believe Your Psychic! Then Have Sex With Them!
- HOW TO SIXTY-NINE WITH YOURSELF!
Stan: Son of a bitch!
This episode marks the second appearance of Chef's parents.
www.tvguide.com listed this episode as 'The Biggest' because (being a G-rated site) they aren't allowed to say douche
Star Trek: First Contact:
The Intergalatic BDUI committee's ship bears a resemblence to the Vulcan ship in the 1996 film Star Trek: First Contact.
Cartman is cured of Kenny's possession when Kenny's soul escapes and is trapped in a pot roast; it is then passed on to Rob Schneider when he eats the pot roast. This is similar to Stephen King's Thinner, where the Thinner curse is removed from the main character and transferred into a pie, and then transferred to other people who eat the pie.
Chef's mother says "this child is clean" after excorcising Kenny's spirit from Cartman.
This is a reference to the 1982 film Poltergeist where after exorcising the ghosts from the house the little old lady-Dr. Lesh [Beatrice Straight]-proclaims "this house is clean".
Jewleeard is an obvious reference to Juilliard, a fine arts school in New York City.
Dumb and Dumberer:
Trailer Voice Over: Der Derp Tum Teetly Tum der derpy dumb!
The entire "Der Derp..." trailer is a parody of the teaser trailer for the 2003 film Dumb and Dumberer.
Mrs. Cartman: Oh wait, Hairspray is playing in New York let's go there.
Hairspray is a Broadway musical based on the 1988 John Waters film.
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