South Park

Season 8 Episode 4

The Passion of the Jew

1
Aired Wednesday 10:00 PM Mar 31, 2004 on Comedy Central

Trivia

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  • Quotes

    • (All four kids are playing Star Trek in car and imitating Starfleet space craft flying.)
      Cartman: Approaching planet. What's the atmosphere reading Jew?
      Kyle: I already told you I'm a Vulcan!
      Cartman: All right, What's the atmosphere reading Vulcan Jew?
      Kyle: Atmosphere is oxygen based. It should support our breathing.
      Cartman: Okay. Stan, Kyle and Kenny are with me on the away team while Vulcan Jew Kyle waits in the shuttle craft.
      Kyle: Oooh no. I'm going too.
      Cartman: NO YOU'RE NOT! IT'S MY MOM'S NEW CAR AND WHAT I SAY GOES!
      Kyle: GODDAMMIT CARTMAN YOU ARE NOT MAKING ME WAIT IN THE VAN AGAIN!
      Cartman: Fine Kyle! But if something gose wrong out there on planet surface, don't hold me responsible.
      (outside the van)
      Cartman: Set phasers to stun.
      Kyle: Detecting carbon based life forms. There are friendly aliens over that hill.
      Cartman: There's a mutant creature! SHOOT IT.
      Kids: (imitating phasers) beew beew beew beew
      Cartman: Oh no! It's got Kyle.
      Kyle: No, it doesn't.
      Cartman: Oh god, it's got Kyle and it's ripping his head off. Kyle's a goner.
      Kyle: GODDAMMIT CARTMAN YOU ARE NOT KILLING ME OFF AGAIN!
      Cartman: YOU SEE! THIS IS WHY YOU DON'T BRING JEWS ON THE AWAY TEAM! THEY DON'T PLAY ALONG!
      Kyle: SHUT UP ABOUT JEWS FATASS. YOU DON'T KNOW A THING!
      Cartman: OH REALLY? I'VE SEEN 'THE PASSION' THIRTY FOUR TIMES NOW. YOU HAVEN'T EVEN SEEN IT ONCE! THERE'S EVEN A PART WHERE THE JEWS HAVE A CHANCE TO SAVE JESUS BUT THEY LET A SERIAL KILLER GO INSTEAD AND LAUGH ABOUT IT!
      Kyle: YOU'RE WRONG.
      Stan: Oh god I am sick and tired of hearing about "The Passion." I'm leaving.
      (Kenny and Stan leave)
      Cartman: You know what I think Kyle? I think you're scared. You're scared of the truth. If you aren't scared then go see it. Go see "The Passion" and tell me I'm wrong. 400 million dollars Kyle. The highest grossing film of all time. Those numbers don't lie. Mel Gibson Kyle…Mel…Gibson.
      (pause)
      Kyle: You're just a stupid asshole Cartman.
      (Kyle leaves)
      (pause)
      Cartman: Sweeeet! Now I get to play with myself. Beew beew beew! Quick back in the shuttle craft. Beew beew!

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