South Park

Season 7 Episode 3

Toilet Paper

Aired Wednesday 10:00 PM Apr 02, 2003 on Comedy Central



  • Trivia

    • When Officer Barbrady enters the Principal's office, he left the door open, but in the next scene, the door is closed and he opens it again…

  • Quotes

    • Stan: Cartman, what are you doing?
      Cartman: I'm getting rid of our problem. Kyle will be dead in a matter of hours.
      Stan: You don't have to kill Kyle, dude. The police made an arrest. And the person confessed!
      Cartman: They did?
      Kyle: They did?
      Stan: They say they got the guy that did it down at the police station.
      Kyle: Who confessed? That doesn't make any sense.
      Cartman: But can I still kill Kyyyle?

    • Stan: Art is just kinda... for gaywads.
      Butters: I love art class!
      Stan: See.

    • Cartman: Okay. Last night, all four of us were at the bowling alley until about 7:30, at which time we noticed Ally Sheedy, the Goth chick from the Breakfast Club, was bowling in the lane next to us, and we asked her for her autograph, but she didn't have a pen, so we followed her out to her car, but on the way we were accosted by five Scientologists who wanted to give us all personality tests, which were administered at the Scientology Center in Denver until 10:45, at which time we accidentally boarded the wrong bus home and ended up in Rancho de Burritos Rojos, south of Castle Rock, and finally got a ride home with a man who was missing his left index finger, named Gary Bushwell, arriving home at 11:46.

    • Officer Barbrady: Josh, you have to go back to Juvenile Hall, you only have a 3 week sentence.

    • Prison Warden: Josh, were you doing the silly voice for the policeman again?
      Josh: (In a kid's voice) No sir.

    • Josh: That's a terrible cologne you're wearing officer, you should try something a little more…casual.

    • Prison Warden: Josh Myers TP-ed over 600 houses in less than a year. He's a real monster.
      Officer Barbrady: I just need to talk to someone who knows how toilet-paperers think.
      Prison Warden: Just remember, he'd toilet paper you in a second if he had the chance.

    • Cartman: Well I understand the people who did it weren't caught, so it looks like no one will ever know the geniuses who masterminded that perfect crime.

    • Cartman: There's toilet paper on your hands too, Kyle.

    • Art Teacher: Quiet boys! This isn't playtime, you're being punished!
      Stan: (whispering) Fine, but we'll have the last laugh tonight, art whore.
      Cartman: Yea! Payback time, you ugly skank!

    • (Art teacher sees the clay penis)
      Art Teacher: Boys, what is that?
      Kyle: A reindeer?

    • Art Teacher: Good children, remember to feel the clay. Be one with the clay.

    • Cartman: (Whispering) I guess we'll just have to…find out where she lives…and go over there and…TP her house.

    • Clerk: Toilet paper. Toilet paper. Toilet paper. Hey! Hey! You kids be careful with this gum, don't you go sticking it under tables.
      Stan: Don't worry, we will.
      Clerk: Okay then. Toilet paper. Toilet paper. Toilet paper.

    • Cartman: I didn't feel bad before, but now, I just feel terrible ..
      Kyle: You just feel bad for yourself that you are in detention.
      Cartman: Right ... I guess I learned today that sometime ...
      Kyle: Oh, stop it Cartman, you didn't learn anything. Not a goddam thing.
      Cartman: ... mmh.

    • Officer Barbrady: Mr. Bell, do you remember anyone suspicious buying toilet paper in the last few days?
      Mr. Bell: Suspicious like how?
      Officer Barbrady: Well, like someone who was black, or Mexican, or middle eastern.
      Mr. Bell: No, the only Mexican guy I recall bought toaster tarts and chips, and we don't allow middle eastern people in the store.

    • Teacher's Husband: Officer, why would I TP my own house?
      Officer Barbrady: Insurance?

    • Cartman: (while beating Kyle with a wiffle bat) Don't fight it Kyle, it'll only take longer. Just slip into sweet unconsciousness.

    • Josh: You're uncle who hit you with a belt: was he a large man?
      Officer Barbrady: I don't have time for this, kid.
      Josh: Did he stink like beer when he came home from work, all tarred from playing down at the pool hall.

    • Butters: They said I TPed the art teacher's house. I don't seem to remember it, but they're pretty sure it was me. I just can't get my behavior under control.
      Barbrady: His parents are on their way down now.
      Butters: Yeah and boy are they gonna let me have it. Just wait 'til my father gets here...Well I'm just a little asshole is what I am. When God made me, he must not have been paying very close attention because I turned out wrong.

    • Josh: What's the matter, Principal Victoria? Was your mother abusive? Did she spank your thighs with cold cuts and stick umbrellas up your ass?

    • Kyle: Why are they doing us one at a time?
      Cartman: They want to see if we mix the story up, and to see if somebody will rat out the other three for a better deal.
      Kyle: I can get a better deal!?!
      Cartman: Kyle, so help me God if you Jew us out on this one, I'll f(beep)king kill you.

    • Josh: Ah, Policeman Brown. Never quite made Officer. Why is that, Policeman Brown?

    • Clerk: Hey, weren't you here last week?
      Kyle: You T.P.'d someone's house last week?
      Cartman: No, last week was fajita night.
      Kyle: Oh...ew.

    • Kyle: (After being hit by a bat) Ow! Cartman, what the hell are you doing?
      Cartman: Killing you. Unfortunately, I could only afford a wiffle bat, so this will take a while.

  • Notes

    • Each package of toilet paper cost $1.50 at the supermarket that Cartman, Stan, Kyle, and Kenny go to.

  • Allusions

    • Silence Of The Lambs:

      The parts where Officer Barbrady consults with Josh at the juvenile prison very closely resemble the conversations between Clarice Starling (played by Jodie Foster) and Hannibal Lecter (Anthony Hopkins) in the movie "Silence Of The Lambs". Both the dialogue and Josh's way of playing with Barbrady are clear allusions to the movie.

    • Killing Mr. Griffin:

      The general plot is very similar to the Lois Duncan novel "Killing Mr. Griffin." In the novel, 4 teens are involved in a kidnapping of their teacher and one of them struggles over whether or not to confess. When the ring leader suspects her, he tries to kill her, just like Cartman and Kyle.

    • The Ring:

      The tree that appears towards the end of Kyle's nightmare resembles the one in the 2002 film The Ring.

    • The Breakfast Club:

      Cartman: And then we saw Ally Sheedy that goth chick from the "Breakfast Club" bowling next to us...

      Ally Sheedy played "basket case" Allison in the 1985 film The Breakfast Club.

    • Red Dragon:

      The scene with Josh and Officer Barbrady in the cell is a reference to the scene where the cop in 2002 Red Dragon goes to Dr. Hannibal Lecter to help him solve a murder.

    • Scarface:

      Kyle: We didn't say nothing about no kid man.

      This was said by Tony in the 1983 film Scarface when he is about to bomb the guys car but he has his children in it.

    • Current Events/ Nancy Kerrigan:

      When Kyle was having the second set of nightmares, after he felt guilty about what he did to the art teacher's house, a clip was shown of the 1994 incident where Nancy Kerrigan was attacked. The scene was from right after she was attacked by an unknown (later identified and convicted) assailant.

    • The Godfather: Part II:

      There are several references to the 1974 film The Godfather: Part II. When Cartman takes Kyle to Stark's Pond and then Stan and Kenny as well, the theme music from "The Godfather" is playing. Also, at the end of the film, Al Neri takes Fredo out into the lake on a fishing boat and kills him. Cartman does the same thing (or at least tries) to Kyle.

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