Randy: Ladies and Gentlemen, if Global Warming has in fact already caused the Beaverton flood, then this is only the beginning. The effects are going to spread. What we are looking at is a global warming catastrophe the likes of which we've never seen.
Geologist 1: Excuse me, sir, but, ...when? When is this going to happen?
Randy: My colleagues in the scientific community are still running tests, but... we believe it may happen... the day after tomorrow.
Geologist 2: Excuse me, I'm sure we're all very impressed with your wild theories, Doctor uh, Marsh, but the fact is no statistical proof has ever been confirmed that global warming exists. Are you suggesting we shut down the economy?!
Randy: With all due respect, cliché dissenting Republican, the economy isn't going to matter... the day after tomorrow.
(doors open and scientists come in)
Scientist 1: Listen! Listen! We've finished running the tests!
Scientist 2: Global Warming is going to strike... two days before the day after tomorrow.
Randy: (alarmed) Oh my god...That's today!
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