South Park

Season 13 Episode 11

Whale Whores

2
Aired Wednesday 10:00 PM Oct 28, 2009 on Comedy Central

Episode Recap

The Marsh family is at the Denver Aquarium, to swim with the dolphins for Stan's birthday. Randy really wants to kiss a dolphin, but he doesn't get a chance when a hoard of Japanese swarms in and kills all the dolphins. The same thing happens at the Atlanta Zoo, the Baltimore Aquarium and elsewhere to both dolphins and whales. Back at home Randy tries to explain to Stan what happened. At a Kansas City Chiefs versus the Miami Dolphins football game, the Japanese swarm in kill all the Miami players. The carnage is happening everywhere. Cartman, Kyle and Kenny are playing Rock Band when Stan comes in. He wants to do something about the problem, Kyle doesn't think they can really do anything and Cartman lets him know that neither he nor Kenny want to help, because they don't care. Stan is despondent, when Butters tells him about people that he's seen on TV and they take volunteers. Stan decides that's where he needs to be. He soon finds himself on board the Sea Shepherd joining the crew who appear on the reality show Whale Wars. When they come upon a Japanese boat that is hunting humpback whales, the crew tries to figure out what they are going to do. Stan wants to get hardcore, while the leader is only suggesting some douche bag maneuvers. The Japanese fire a harpoon into the leaders head; Stan takes measures into his own hands and fires a flare at the Japanese vessel, which is set on fire. With this new level of destruction Whale Wars gets better and the ratings skyrocket. On sea they destroy whaling vessels and on even on land they offer protection, such as revealing a replica of Godzilla on an oncoming swarm of Japanese. The Japanese government is very annoyed. On Larry King Live, Stan and his crew are interviewed. Larry seems only interested in asking him questions about making a hit TV show. Stan doesn't care about that, he just wants to save the dolphins and whales. Larry and some guy talk about the show's old format with the lying captain Paul Watson and his band vegan pussies. Annoyed, Stan leaves. Back at sea, Stan gets word there are some new volunteers that want to join the crew. They say they know Stan. Cartman and Kenny have come aboard, saying they've always liked dolphins and whales. Stan wants them to admit the only reason they are there is to get on TV. Kenny admits it, Cartman says he deserves it. The Japanese have been spotted near buoy 24. En route the ship gets rammed, but not by the Japanese, they been rammed by The Deadliest Catch, the crab fishing reality show. The crab fishing boat manages to stop the Sea Shepherd dead in the water. The crab fishing show is doing just fine, while the whale wars show appears to be over. Suddenly a sound is heard, the whales have come. The whales start taking out the crab fishing reality show. The Sea Shepherd starts celebrating, but it is short-lived as Kamikaze pilots start killing the whales and then destroy the Sea Shepherd. Stan, Cartman and Kenny are thrown overboard as the ship sinks. Then they are captured by the Japanese. The boys are taken to a Japanese prison. A Japanese official and Stan try to understand each other's position on the topic. To explain their side, the official takes the boys to Hiroshima, and brings them through a museum about the atomic bombing of Japan in 1945. The official shows them a picture they were given by the US government, depicting the pilots of the Enola Gay was a dolphin and a whale. Stan is about to tell them the truth, when Cartman stops him, reminding Stan that they won't rest until whoever did it is completely wiped out. Stan says he can make everything okay if he can make a call. He calls Kyle and has him doctor up a new photo of the Enola Gay being piloted by a chicken and a cow. All over the world chickens and cows are being mercilessly slaughtered by the Japanese, which Randy Marsh notes is "normal like us".
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